Sad recruitment story

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

All of her friends did fine. She decided not to go to prefs that night....so she dropped.

Ok, I'll be the one to ask it...

By all of her friends "doing fine", do you mean they stuck it out and ended up in houses? Or did they make it into the "top tier" houses? Or did they make really great connections with houses that they truly loved for all of the right reasons?

Why did your daughter decide not to go to prefs? Was it because she felt she didn't have a connection with the girls of those chapters, or were the reasons more superficial?

I'm not saying that your daughter dropped out for all of the wrong reasons, or that all of her friends "lucked out", but it's not as though we haven't heard those types of stories before.

And as has been said, you don't know how your daughter communicated and connected with the sisters of the chapters. Maybe she was awkward/shy, and asked weird questions. Or maybe she did everything right, but somehow she just fell short. If this is really what she wants, you can encourage her to go through recrutiment again. But again, don't show her how emotional it is making you. It will only make things worse for her.

[als463]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Ok, I'll be the one to ask it...

By all of her friends "doing fine", do you mean they stuck it out and ended up in houses? Or did they make it into the "top tier" houses? Or did they make really great connections with houses that they truly loved for all of the right reasons?

Why did your daughter decide not to go to prefs? Was it because she felt she didn't have a connection with the girls of those chapters, or were the reasons more superficial?

I'm not saying that your daughter dropped out for all of the wrong reasons, or that all of her friends "lucked out", but it's not as though we haven't heard those types of stories before.

And as has been said, you don't know how your daughter communicated and connected with the sisters of the chapters. Maybe she was awkward/shy, and asked weird questions. Or maybe she did everything right, but somehow she just fell short. If this is really what she wants, you can encourage her to go through recrutiment again. But again, don't show her how emotional it is making you. It will only make things worse for her.

I'm going to have to agree with ASTalumna06 on this one. It is unfortunate that she was cut from many of her top choices, but she chose not to give those houses (the 2 that invited her back) a chance. As KSUViolet said, there is a difference between going bidless and dropping out. It may be refreshing to see so many lovely women being nice to you regarding this, but I don't feel sorry for her, at all.

By saying you don't "feel a connection" really means that those chapters are "lower tier" in your book. The same girls that get upset about being discarded after only talking to a handful of sisters have no issues with dismissing a house based on a few sisters they've spoken with, as well.

I've said it before. I'll say it again. All of the 26 NPCs have SOMETHING of value to offer members. Each organization supports some national philanthropy and has their "good" chapters, as well as, their "bad" chapters. In the end, she chose to give up an incredible opportunity that many girls (the girls that actually go bidless) would kill to have.

Also, please keep in mind that just because Southern Chapter USA of XYZ sorority is #1 at Southern State University, doesn't mean it is #1 everywhere. When people tell me they are members of XYZ, I don't look at them and say, "Oh, they were very popular" or "Wow, they sucked" at my university. Instead, I embrace the fact that they are my panhellenic sisters.

[mittens]

Originally Posted by als463

I'm going to have to agree with ASTalumna06 on this one. It is unfortunate that she was cut from many of her top choices, but she chose not to give those houses (the 2 that invited her back) a chance. As KSUViolet said, there is a difference between going bidless and dropping out. It may be refreshing to see so many lovely women being nice to you regarding this, but I don't feel sorry for her, at all.

By saying you don't "feel a connection" really means that those chapters are "lower tier" in your book. The same girls that get upset about being discarded after only talking to a handful of sisters have no issues with dismissing a house based on a few sisters they've spoken with, as well.

I've said it before. I'll say it again. All of the 26 NPCs have SOMETHING of value to offer members. Each organization supports some national philanthropy and has their "good" chapters, as well as, their "bad" chapters. In the end, she chose to give up an incredible opportunity that many girls (the girls that actually go bidless) would kill to have.

Also, please keep in mind that just because Southern Chapter USA of XYZ sorority is #1 at Southern State University, doesn't mean it is #1 everywhere. When people tell me they are members of XYZ, I don't look at them and say, "Oh, they were very popular" or "Wow, they sucked" at my university. Instead, I embrace the fact that they are my panhellenic sisters.

Thank you so much for emphasizing this. When I went through formal recruitment, I can't tell you how many girls in my group was all determined to be an XYZ because they were "top tier." I'm sure if I went else where, as als463 said, that they may not be the "top". This is why the whole "tier" thing is full of crap.

[greekmomjo]

and maybe it wasn't anything against her specifically, they just liked someone else MORE