Sad recruitment story

Senusret I · #1 02-01-2010, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

As her mother who is hours away, I am at a loss for what to do....and at a bigger loss to understand how this could have happened. I so want an explanation...was there a mistake of some kind? Who would not want this child?

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister. Unfortunately, because she didn't stick with it, two chapters lost out on somebody they wanted to see just one more time.

What you can do as a parent is send her loving care packages with lots of chocolate chip cookies. If she doesn't like chocolate cookies, I'll be glad to take them.

But no seriously.... yeah, this sucks, but all either of you can do now is be sad for a few more days, then move on and find something else to fill that free time with.

Wow, I sounded like so legitimate.

baci · #2 02-01-2010, 07:32 PM

It appears that both of these paths were not meant for her to take at this time. Please give her all of the support that she needs right now, but I am sure you realize she will grow from these experiences. She will mature and find her way this year. It does not mean there won't be sisterhood in her future because it still may hapen. It just won't be at this time.

Senusret I · #3 02-01-2010, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister.

Helllooooooo this was awesome! Need acknowledgment here! Ugh! lol

DrPhil · #4 02-01-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Helllooooooo this was awesome! Need acknowledgment here! Ugh! lol

Hello.

You're right. When people apply for membership and employment, the members and bosses/employers aren't looking for someone's child. LOL. That is, unless we're talking about nepotism.

Barbie's_Rush · #5 02-01-2010, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

so she was also a legacy at a top house.

See, you had me feeling badly for her and her awful day until I read that. It's pretty rare for women to go completely bidless, but that wasn't the case for your daughter. She had options, but from your own words above, I think there was a little bit of "not good enough for perfect princess" happening. Two chapters still wanted her. She chose to reject them.

One other thing to keep in mind. Deferred recruitment allows chapters to get a much better look at PNMs throughout their first semester. I know you don't want to think about it since she's your daughter and perfect in your eyes, but there may be some specific reasons your daughter wasn't considered for those "top houses."

KSUViolet06 · #6 02-01-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister. Unfortunately, because she didn't stick with it, two chapters lost out on somebody they wanted to see just one more time.

Quoted for truth.

The chapters who dropped her didn't see her as a sister.

Someone obviously saw her as a potential sister because they asked her back for Pref round, but she didn't see them in the same way.

That is her prerogative, but certainly not a chapter's fault or something for which you are owed an explanation.

Senusret I · #7 02-01-2010, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Hello.

You're right. When people apply for membership and employment, the members and bosses/employers aren't looking for someone's child. LOL. That is, unless we're talking about nepotism.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Quoted for truth.

The chapters who dropped her didn't see her as a sister.

Someone obviously saw her as a potential sister because they asked her back for Pref round, but she didn't see them in the same way.

That is her prerogative, but certainly not a chapter's fault or something for which you are owed an explanation.

Thanks.

DrPhil · #8 02-01-2010, 08:47 PM

Did he just thank us?

Something told me to ignore him like I normally do.

aopirose · #9 02-01-2010, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

They were not looking for your child -- they were looking for their sister.

Two snaps and a triple Salchow.

Senusret I · #10 02-01-2010, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Did he just thank us?

Something told me to ignore him like I normally do.

lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by aopirose

Two snaps and a triple Salchow.

YES!!! You GET me.

aopirose · #11 02-01-2010, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

YES!!! You GET me.

karmelgirl · #12 02-01-2010, 10:39 PM

Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement. I agree she should have gone to prefs to see if she could be happy at the 2 houses that wanted her. The reason why she didn't is that everything happened so fast....the rejection for the cast (she worked at preparing for this for a long time), then a few hours later getting rejected by the houses she thought really liked her and she liked them a lot. She couldn't reach her Rho X to talk about it. It just all came tumbling down at once and she couldn't compose herself in time to get her head around that fact that she needed to quickly get across campus, get completely dressed in cocktail attire, get herself into a happy frame of mind and get back across campus to 2 prefs where she really didn't know anyone. I think even for this kid it was just too much to ask. That is part of the sadness, because if she could have made it over to those houses it might have worked out, she knows it, I know it and you all know it. She just couldn't do it with how she was feeling.

So I reached out on this site to see if I could find some comfort among sisters that might know what it might feel like.

mittens · #13 02-01-2010, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement. I agree she should have gone to prefs to see if she could be happy at the 2 houses that wanted her. The reason why she didn't is that everything happened so fast....the rejection for the cast (she worked at preparing for this for a long time), then a few hours later getting rejected by the houses she thought really liked her and she liked them a lot. She couldn't reach her Rho X to talk about it. It just all came tumbling down at once and she couldn't compose herself in time to get her head around that fact that she needed to quickly get across campus, get completely dressed in cocktail attire, get herself into a happy frame of mind and get back across campus to 2 prefs where she really didn't know anyone. I think even for this kid it was just too much to ask. That is part of the sadness, because if she could have made it over to those houses it might have worked out, she knows it, I know it and you all know it. She just couldn't do it with how she was feeling.

So I reached out on this site to see if I could find some comfort among sisters that might know what it might feel like.

We've ALL had disappointments, but there is always light down the tunnel.

als463 · #14 02-01-2010, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karmelgirl

Thanks to all who offered advice and encouragement. I agree she should have gone to prefs to see if she could be happy at the 2 houses that wanted her. The reason why she didn't is that everything happened so fast....the rejection for the cast (she worked at preparing for this for a long time), then a few hours later getting rejected by the houses she thought really liked her and she liked them a lot. She couldn't reach her Rho X to talk about it. It just all came tumbling down at once and she couldn't compose herself in time to get her head around that fact that she needed to quickly get across campus, get completely dressed in cocktail attire, get herself into a happy frame of mind and get back across campus to 2 prefs where she really didn't know anyone. I think even for this kid it was just too much to ask. That is part of the sadness, because if she could have made it over to those houses it might have worked out, she knows it, I know it and you all know it. She just couldn't do it with how she was feeling.
So I reached out on this site to see if I could find some comfort among sisters that might know what it might feel like.

So...wait. Did she not attend the pref parties because she was bummed out about getting cut from the play or because she didn't get her top choice? Earlier, it sounded as if she didn't ger her "top tier" choice, and now you are saying it is because she was upset about not getting a part in the play.

From what you said earlier, it sounds as if she didn't get her top choices. End of story. It is sad she didn't give those 2 chapters a chance because they must have really liked her enough to invite her back.

karmelgirl · #15 02-01-2010, 10:48 PM

it was both......if the play situation had not have occured hours earlier I think she would have been fine. Not thrilled, but she would have gone to prefs and who knows, she may have found a home. Both things happened within hours of each other....that essentially exacerbated the issue.