More Men are Marrying Wealthier Women

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Hey...I think some Mickie Dees and Taco Hells have retirement plans...ehehhe!!!


Sometimes I do feel that certain jobs are by design created to 'encourage' people who want more to move on rather than stay.

It's all up to that individual. For instance, I had a job for 5 years ( they even had a retirement plan!) and even though I liked it, I knew I had to leave because it was not my CAREER as well as a dead end. I also knew I had outgrown the position and could not advance any further nor were they willing to pay the salary that I wanted.

Not to mention for what they were paying me, it indirectly was killing some of my dating prospects as well as hindering my cost of living....HA!

And sometimes I think when we date someone we have to distinguish early on if the person we are with is working at a job or working in their career field. Does our career field make us content with what we are doing and take care of us and so on. Because let's face it, there are also some dead end career fields too

This is all coming back into a giant circle...hehe

Oh yeah, I'm sure McDonald's and Taco Hell do have retirement plans, but the question is how much can your average everyday taco maker invest in herself/himself? Umm, like 1%--if that.

The only companies I know who want people to move on are the people who aren't very productive. I mean, why would any company want a good employee who produces, to leave? Move up, yeah. But to leave? I don't understand that.

Daemon, I understand what you're saying about dating, and I'm all for dating a guy if he's happy in his "career", but if he's working at a "job" and he's been there for a number of years and he doesn't have a plan for his future, then how can he even know where he's going? Seriously. I mean, give me one reason why I would find a guy like that interesting? I personally don't see anything wrong with not wanting to date a guy who isn't going anywhere.

I think when we're dating we have to distinguish early on a lot of things, and most of that comes with time. I mean, what someone does for a living is one of the first topics we ask/talk about. I mean, even in college, one of the first questions or topics that come up on a date are majors/minors/goals etc. So, the first date or even just being introduced to that person can determine if you even want to go out on one date with them. Ya know what mean? It's just that I think it's about what you look for in a potential partner. Finance, sex, and communication are the 3 biggest causes of divorce. It takes two to make it work, so it depends on what you're looking for in the person you're dating.

[33girl]

For everyone bashing restaurant workers...face it, in today's economy, they probably have way more secure jobs than some white collar workers. People in advertising agencies are losing jobs because companies are cutting it. However, people are STILL eating at McDonald's, not to mention far more expensive restaurants.

As far as "you'd have to be a complete intellectual lump to stay in that job" - what about all the guys who worked on the assembly lines for umpteen years? They didn't just do the same job, they did the SAME SET OF MOTIONS for 8+ hours a day. I sincerely doubt that every man in that position needed multiple hints to spell "cat" or the like. The job was secure, the benefits rocked - they didn't quit because they weren't being intellectually stimulated.

Re AOIIAngel's hubby, a true homemaker as opposed to housewife/husband IS a full time job. You're maintaining the home, raising the children, doing things that normally the family might have to hire someone to do. That being said, when AOIIAngel gets home, the laundry should be done, dinner should be on the table, and the house should be clean.

Having been in an office job that became incredibly mentally and emotionally deadening, I want no part of the corporate world right now, because the people above me (the "successes") didn't seem much happier. I want to do my job, come home, and forget about it. If someone wants to think I'm stupid or lazy for that reason, I really don't give a shit.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by 33girl

For everyone bashing restaurant workers...face it, in today's economy, they probably have way more secure jobs than some white collar workers. People in advertising agencies are losing jobs because companies are cutting it. However, people are STILL eating at McDonald's, not to mention far more expensive restaurants.

IAWTC.

Just because your S/O has a job that is "less than" yours doesn't mean s/he lacks ambition, especially in this economy.

And I think a lot of people forget that your job/career isn't necessarily your only outlet for intellectual stimulation. I might work at McDonald's but spend my weekends attending plays and visiting museums. It's wrong to automatically dismiss someone based on job alone.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

IAWTC.

Just because your S/O has a job that is "less than" yours doesn't mean s/he lacks ambition, especially in this economy.

And I think a lot of people forget that your job/career isn't necessarily your only outlet for intellectual stimulation. I might work at McDonald's but spend my weekends attending plays and visiting museums. It's wrong to automatically dismiss someone based on job alone.

OMG, SIGNATURE.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by agzg

OMG, SIGNATURE.

LOL

[DrPhil]

This may've been said already but I feel like typing:

There are also people who have to take low-end jobs to put themselves though school. There are doctoral students who can't get job opportunities in their field, but they can become a bartender to put themselves through school until something else comes up.

There are also PhDs, JDs, and people who used to earn 140K a year (some with a wealth of finances and investments that they can't access) standing in unemployment lines.

I say all of that to say, or to repeat what has been said over and over in this thread: know what does and does not work for you. But, that doesn't require being completely dismissive of people.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

For everyone bashing restaurant workers...face it, in today's economy, they probably have way more secure jobs than some white collar workers. People in advertising agencies are losing jobs because companies are cutting it. However, people are STILL eating at McDonald's, not to mention far more expensive restaurants.

As far as "you'd have to be a complete intellectual lump to stay in that job" - what about all the guys who worked on the assembly lines for umpteen years? They didn't just do the same job, they did the SAME SET OF MOTIONS for 8+ hours a day. I sincerely doubt that every man in that position needed multiple hints to spell "cat" or the like. The job was secure, the benefits rocked - they didn't quit because they weren't being intellectually stimulated.

Re AOIIAngel's hubby, a true homemaker as opposed to housewife/husband IS a full time job. You're maintaining the home, raising the children, doing things that normally the family might have to hire someone to do. That being said, when AOIIAngel gets home, the laundry should be done, dinner should be on the table, and the house should be clean.

Having been in an office job that became incredibly mentally and emotionally deadening, I want no part of the corporate world right now, because the people above me (the "successes") didn't seem much happier. I want to do my job, come home, and forget about it. If someone wants to think I'm stupid or lazy for that reason, I really don't give a shit.

Exactly, and that is not what I'd get. Truthfully, a lot of housewives don't do this either. Yes, being a stay at home wife and mother is a full time job, but not everyone who is a stay at home wife (or husband) takes that job seriously. My husband knows full well that he'd sit around all day (like he does on the weekends when I'm on call), and I'd come home to a dirty house and no dinner. I don't ask that he makes as much as me, but dammit...he's gonna work. It keeps him occupied (like daycare for my husband) and he makes enough to cover his own educational loans. That's not too much to ask.

[DaemonSeid]

Now ya know...just speaking for myself....even when I am off, I feel really guilty if s/o is at work and I am home all day nd nothing gets done. Usually what I do, is I get up and wash some dishes, run a load of clothes or sumn before I sit on my arse and veg out...and if necessary, cook.

That way when she comes home I can justify 4 or 5 hrs sitting in front of the TV on X box or PS3....LOL

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Now ya know...just speaking for myself....even when I am off, I feel really guilty if s/o is at work and I am home all day nd nothing gets done. Usually what I do, is I get up and wash some dishes, run a load of clothes or sumn before I sit on my arse and veg out...and if necessary, cook.

That way when she comes home I can justify 4 or 5 hrs sitting in front of the TV on X box or PS3....LOL

Ditto alllll the way.

I've had days where I feel like doing absolutely nothing. When he comes home he'll be like "So...whatchu been doing all day? Go anywhere? Do anything? What's for dinner? Are the dishes and laundry waiting for me to do them?"

[AGDee]

My point is, I'm a Type A and have found that I can't tolerate being with someone in a serious relationship unless they are also Type A. A Type A would go crazy working that type of job long term. It's not about whether they are good enough or not. It has to do with similarity of personality and compatibility. The money part isn't even part of the equation for me.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Now ya know...just speaking for myself....even when I am off, I feel really guilty if s/o is at work and I am home all day nd nothing gets done. Usually what I do, is I get up and wash some dishes, run a load of clothes or sumn before I sit on my arse and veg out...and if necessary, cook.

That way when she comes home I can justify 4 or 5 hrs sitting in front of the TV on X box or PS3....LOL

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Ditto alllll the way.

I've had days where I feel like doing absolutely nothing. When he comes home he'll be like "So...whatchu been doing all day? Go anywhere? Do anything? What's for dinner? Are the dishes and laundry waiting for me to do them?"

I guess I don't have to worry about that. (yet)

[DrPhil]

I'm also a big GLO and nonGLO social networker. The majority of men, in particular because manhood and low-wage jobs are perceived differently than womanhood and low-wage jobs, will not want to attend organizational galas and networking events where they have to mix and mingle with men with a higher education and/or income than they have.

The "what do you do for a living" small talk may not go over too well. It's like when Steve and Miranda first started dating and she tried to take him to the lawyer's ball. He had a bad suit and low self-esteem.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I guess I don't have to worry about that. (yet)

Well, when you do, remember that (as Daemonseid illustrated) the man who is available to do these household tasks can and should do them just as the woman who is available can and should. Don't let a man keep the dishes and laundry waiting for you if he wouldn't like it the other way around.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

If someone is debt free and is making (for example) $30,000 as a manager at one of those places, I don't see how that's not stable.

If he has 324,234 credit cards and is a "sandwich artist," then I can see your point. Not everyone falls into that category, though.

stable and comfortable are two different things. and two people can have two definitions of what comfortable is.

someone can be comfortable on 30k. i'm just not that someone.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

My point is, I'm a Type A and have found that I can't tolerate being with someone in a serious relationship unless they are also Type A. A Type A would go crazy working that type of job long term. It's not about whether they are good enough or not. It has to do with similarity of personality and compatibility. The money part isn't even part of the equation for me.

I know some nice Type A starving artists/musicians I could introduce you to. Don't crack your head on the ceiling jumping at that one.