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This is all fascinating. I come from a non-Greek family and went to a non-competitive school in the midwest. We got one rec letter the entire time I was there (not quite a legacy but had a Kappa aunt) and the entire chapter was excited about it. Definitely minimal grooming at our school, intentional or otherwise.
The only person I know who was "groomed" was my former coworker. She was "strongly encouraged" by her adoptive mother to go Greek and wound up in her mother's house. She didn't hate the experience, but didn't get as much out of it as she could've. She just didn't care much about it, and still doesn't. Of course this is a much less competitive area with minimal grooming for most.
Although it would've been nice to have SOME insight into what the Greek system was (besides the media) before going into it, I'm glad I wasn't groomed for ABC or XYZ. There's enough pressure just trying to find the right one for you, let alone finding the right one for you and making sure it is ABC to live up to your/your family's unspoken(?) expectations. Not to mention to make sure that you get in, especially if there are more legacies than open spots. But I suppose sometimes it is what you make of it- so if you grow up knowing innately that you will be ABC and you will love ABC, you are more likely love it no matter what. Attitude is everything, isn't it?
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And in the years after, with tears or with laughter, we'll always remember our dear Kappa days.
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