Deferring a bid - a good idea?

[Secondpath]

Hey guys,

I think you misunderstand me. Transferring in especially, it's really, really difficult to meet people at the specific school I'm in. Last year I was super miserable because it was so hard to make friends, even with all the different clubs I joined.

I'm not much of a partier (actually I hate super-large parties). The reason I mentioned their socials and formals and stuff was because 1st frat just seemed to have better social networking. I mean, obviously I care about being a brotherhood, but I'd also like to branch out and meet more people on campus and it seems like backup frat only hangs out with themselves.

But yeah, I would feel really bad stringing anyone along....

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Secondpath

Hey guys,

I think you misunderstand me. Transferring in especially, it's really, really difficult to meet people at the specific school I'm in. Last year I was super miserable because it was so hard to make friends, even with all the different clubs I joined.

I'm not much of a partier (actually I hate super-large parties). The reason I mentioned their socials and formals and stuff was because 1st frat just seemed to have better social networking. I mean, obviously I care about being a brotherhood, but I'd also like to branch out and meet more people on campus and it seems like backup frat only hangs out with themselves.

But yeah, I would feel really bad stringing anyone along....

Well, I'll be honest... I've known a good number of people who have deferred bids... but it was for reasons such as: Need to focus on school, personal/family problems, money issues, etc. It was more of an "I'd love to join, I just can't right now" type situation.

But what you're saying is, "I'll hold off to see if this other group who didn't offer me a bid, offers one to me next semester." Just think of how it will look to them if you're attending the other fraternities rush activities, while they're holding a bid for you.

[Blue_Blood]

Originally Posted by Secondpath

. The reason I mentioned their socials and formals and stuff was because 1st frat just seemed to have better social networking. I mean, obviously I care about being a brotherhood, but I'd also like to branch out and meet more people on campus and it seems like backup frat only hangs out with themselves.

You have one of two options: 1) Defer the bid and hold out for a fraternity that has already turned you down once. Like it was previously said, they may have told you one thing and its really something else. You have an organization that does want you. Many people don't get a bid from even one organization, and would kill to get it. or 2) Nut up and rush with the guys that want you. Be a leader in their ranks and get that social calender filled up. A social calender is a simple thing to fix. All it takes is phone calls and planning. Push the brothers of your 'backup' out into the world. Also, don't make the mistake of seeing them keep to themselves as a bad thing. Often times, the ones that keep to themselves have the strongest brotherhood bonds. Its not going to be the 10,000 people that know who your fraternity is that will answer the call at 3 am when you are stuck 1/2 way across the country with a broke down car, it would be those brothers that you are hesitant to join because they "keep to themselves".