advice for PNM please!

[lovedbyloving]

Thank you guys so much, this has been really helpful.
I'm currently emailing every single female teacher I had in highschool to see if they were greek.

Also, I'm glad they're not supposed to bring him up.

Another question..
My understanding is when I get to each house on the first day, I'll be paired with an active who will teach me about the sorority and ask me questions and all that jazz. If I'm in a house and know another girl in there, is it okay to go up and say hi? Or am I supposed to stick with the girl I'm assigned to the entire time?

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

My understanding is when I get to each house on the first day, I'll be paired with an active who will teach me about the sorority and ask me questions and all that jazz. If I'm in a house and know another girl in there, is it okay to go up and say hi? Or am I supposed to stick with the girl I'm assigned to the entire time?

She might pick you up! Often a sorority will try to pair girls who know each other to make the PNM feel more comfortable. But that may not be the case, and certainly won't be the case for all rounds. When you're with another active, it's fine to mention that you're friends with the other sister - just don't make it sound too name-droppy. DO NOT run off to go say hi - there's nothing more frustrating for active than a runaway PNM who you have to corrall back into your area. The suster with you has been told to stay with you at all times. Also, it's rude to walk way from your hostess. The sister you're with may take you over to say hi, but you should only be going over there if your hostess takes the lead. The other sister is probably on a rotation and may not be able to chat with you without disrupting the pattern. It's nothing personal. You'll probably be switched around to a few different sisters during the party, so you may get to chat with her later - but again, if you don't get to, it's not because she's avoiding you - she's just in another rotation.

ETA: By "another girl" I assume you mean another sister. If you mean a PNM - no, you should not be going to talk to your friend during the party. It's rude and you should be focusing on learning about the sorority and making a good impression, not chatting with other PNMs.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

She might pick you up! Often a sorority will try to pair girls who know each other to make the PNM feel more comfortable. But that may not be the case, and certainly won't be the case for all rounds. When you're with another active, it's fine to mention that you're friends with the other sister - just don't make it sound too name-droppy. DO NOT run off to go say hi - there's nothing more frustrating for active than a runaway PNM who you have to corrall back into your area. The suster with you has been told to stay with you at all times. Also, it's rude to walk way from your hostess. The sister you're with may take you over to say hi, but you should only be going over there if your hostess takes the lead. The other sister is probably on a rotation and may not be able to chat with you without disrupting the pattern. It's nothing personal. You'll probably be switched around to a few different sisters during the party, so you may get to chat with her later - but again, if you don't get to, it's not because she's avoiding you - she's just in another rotation.

Agreed. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, because I know these things can vary from school to school, but it's likely that the active who picks you up will direct you to a place to sit where you guys will chat for a bit, and you'll probably stay at that spot the whole time. You really don't do much "mingling" within the party, so you're not going to have the opportunity to walk away and say hi to someone. The actives are the ones that do the "mingling".

Again, that's how they do it at my school, and I'm under the impression that's how it as at most schools, but correct me if I'm wrong!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

Another question..
My understanding is when I get to each house on the first day, I'll be paired with an active who will teach me about the sorority and ask me questions and all that jazz. If I'm in a house and know another girl in there, is it okay to go up and say hi? Or am I supposed to stick with the girl I'm assigned to the entire time?

In addition to the advice that's already been given, remember: the girl you know ALREADY KNOWS YOU. Assuming you're talking about the sorority members, this may give you a leg up over other PNMs. Your goal is to make a good impression on as many members as possible. If you've already done that with a couple girls because you know them, don't worry about them, and focus on meeting other new people (i.e. the random girl who picked you up).

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

Thank you guys so much, this has been really helpful.
I'm currently emailing every single female teacher I had in highschool to see if they were greek.

Teachers are a great place to start! There are other people you could ask too. Don't forget:

Older friends from HS
Friends of your older siblings
Older siblings of your friends
Parents' friends
Friends' moms
Coworkers/bosses
women from your place of worship
coaches/activity sponsors/school staff

Remember that when you find one Greek, she (or he!) will almost certainly know other Greeks. This applies to fraternity men, as well as sorority women who are in a sorority not at your school. Double check with your rec writers to see if they know alumnae from other sororities.

Do keep digging. It's good that you have "weeks" instead of "days".

[lovedbyloving]

so i just reread the entire thread and i'd like to apologize to everyone.
i said that i felt like some of you were being rude because i got defensive.
i came here to ask for advice from people who know more than i do and that's exactly what i got. it just wasn't what i was hoping to hear.
forgive me for acting the way i did.

i'm not having much luck securing more recs, but i am doing everything that i can. i've emailed all my old highschool teachers and am asking literally everyone i know. hopefully i will come upon some luck soon.

thanks everyone for the advice. it has truly made me think about the mindset i was going into rush with and i now hope that i can change it and will be able to ACTUALLY go into it with an open mind instead of just saying i am.

thanks and i'm sorry again.

also i have a thought about what someone said about sending in college grades.
my highschool transcript isn't terribly impressive, but i worked really hard my first semester at college and made a really good gpa. i feel like my college transcript is going to save me during rush! i'm glad i gave myself that opportunity to show everyone that i'm a serious student.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

i'm not having much luck securing more recs, but i am doing everything that i can. i've emailed all my old highschool teachers and am asking literally everyone i know. hopefully i will come upon some luck soon.

thanks everyone for the advice. it has truly made me think about the mindset i was going into rush with and i now hope that i can change it and will be able to ACTUALLY go into it with an open mind instead of just saying i am.

thanks and i'm sorry again.

also i have a thought about what someone said about sending in college grades.
my highschool transcript isn't terribly impressive, but i worked really hard my first semester at college and made a really good gpa. i feel like my college transcript is going to save me during rush! i'm glad i gave myself that opportunity to show everyone that i'm a serious student.

No need to apologize.

Something I wanted to note though, is that depending on where you go to school, your college GPA may not make up for your lack of recs. There are certain schools where 99% of the girls have great GPAs and multiples recs per chapter. It is tough, but some places, recs are really important.

It's August though and there may not be a whole lot you can do about lacking recs at this point. Keep trying and if you don't get them all you just have to do the best you can see what happens.

[lovedbyloving]

i think i may have found the jackpot for recs.
my best friend from highschool's older sister is president of her house at a different school. i know she knows a lot of people in different sororities and i've known her since i was a kid so i think she'll be able to help me out.
hopefully this is good news for me.

yay

another note...
are there any other pnms out there that are as nervous about rush as i am? getting more recs (keep your fingers crossed) will help calm my nerves but i'm still super nervous and i don't even know why. anyone else feeling like this?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

are there any other pnms out there that are as nervous about rush as i am? getting more recs (keep your fingers crossed) will help calm my nerves but i'm still super nervous and i don't even know why. anyone else feeling like this?

I think MOST PNMs are nervous (even if just a little) about recruitment around this time. It's perfectly normal.