Report: McNair found dead

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

You can give it a big fancy word if you want to, but I just call it 'woman's intuition' (?sp).

You can give it a big fancy old wives' tale if you want to, but I call it lying to yourself.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

You can give it a big fancy old wives' tale if you want to, but I call it lying to yourself.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

I was just teasing around with your wording.

Basically, what I'm saying is that it's far easier to say, from our perch as outsiders, that she "had to" (or "should have" or etc.) known about any infidelity. In fact, we're wired that way - it's hard for us to think that we wouldn't know, and we'd desperately want to believe we're different than wives that get cheated on. (This is a very quick-n-dirty description of how the psychological principle of cognitive dissonance applies in situations like this; there's obviously much more going on, and I'm not saying this is specifically what you're doing - just that it happens a lot)

For a guy like McNair, we don't really know the situation - he traveled a lot for his speaking career, and apparently took the mistress on trips, an easy way to 'hide' things. His wife likely didn't handle the finances, so he can 'hide' very incidental expenses like a condo or a car. Besides this, there is a tendency to hang onto the sense that this perfect life (ex-football hero, four lovely sons, healthy, happy, etc.) is still intact in spite of other signs - inertia is a powerful force.

This is a long aside, and hides a key point: if you're wealthy, don't mix with people who might fuck you over. This doesn't just apply to the Pac Man Joneses of the world, although the media prefers those stereotype-supporting stories - it applies to the baseball players who lost millions in the Madoff fraud, Mike Tyson's "handlers" taking his money, and jilted lovers taking these guys for their money, their families or their lives. We should never "blame" the victim - after all, McNair didn't pull the trigger - but with the options that money affords, these individuals can help minimize these kinds of risks much more than the average guy out to nail a 20 year old waitress.

This is clearly easier said than done - the wealthy, famous and successful tend to have entitlement or invinceability issues, among others, that play into these situations. It's tragic.

[sigmadiva]

At the end of the day McNair was a married man who cheated not only his wife, but his children. His wealth and fame probably did make it easier for him to get away with it.

Do I persoanlly know for sure his wife knew of the affair? No. But, being a woman myself who has been in serious relationships, when you put your heart and soul in another person, you really begin to 'feel' that person.

And, another thing that has come out is the fact that McNair had been photographed with his mistress. It was even featured on TMZ! From what I've read too, McNair spent so much time at that condo that people thought he lived there. So many people saw him out with that woman that I'm having a hard time believeing that his wife did not know.