MTV's 16 and Pregnant

KSUViolet06 · #1 07-06-2009, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I know you know this, but it's not just kids. Of the five or so births in my circle of friends/associates, only ONE was conceived intentionally, or even within a long-term relationship. Most were pretty new in their relationships. So, unfortunately, the "it won't happen to me" syndrome hits people in their late 20s and early 30s just as often. Most of the time I actually think they've been dodging bullets for 10-15 years as far as not taking birth control properly, or even at all.

Oh of course, I was just using "kids" in the in the context of this thread.

I think everyone has at least one friend who had an "oops baby" with a boyfriend that she's had for like 6 months.

And I agree that these are typically the women who have "gotten lucky" in the past with pregnancy scares.

I'm invited to a baby shower for a co-worker who is 28 and having an unplanned baby with a guy whom I think she had been dating for 3. She was of the same mindset.

Munchkin03 · #2 07-06-2009, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Oh of course, I was just using "kids" in the in the context of this thread.

I think everyone has at least one friend who had an "oops baby" with a boyfriend that she's had for like 6 months.

And I agree that these are typically the women who have "gotten lucky" in the past with pregnancy scares.

No, you're absolutely right. The "oops baby" phenomenon right now is blowing my mind.

For some reason, I am surrounded by "oops babies" right now. I can understand an "oops baby" at 16 more than I can at 26, because you're young and stupid about everything, but that's just me.

I guess no one ever thinks it will "happen to them," but it's just a little more tragic when the person in question hasn't gotten to really live their lives...or graduate from high school.

KSUViolet06 · #3 07-06-2009, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

No, you're absolutely right. The "oops baby" phenomenon right now is blowing my mind.

For some reason, I am surrounded by "oops babies" right now. I can understand an "oops baby" at 16 more than I can at 26, because you're young and stupid about everything, but that's just me.

I guess no one ever thinks it will "happen to them," but it's just a little more tragic when the person in question hasn't gotten to really live their lives...or graduate from high school.

My co-worker is 28 and having an "oops baby."

It's interesting because some of the older women in the office (40s and 50s) say things like "28 is the PREFECT AGE for her to have a baby. It's so perfect!"

Um, she lives with her mom, babydaddy wants nothing to do with her, and she works part-time so she gets no health benefits. How is THAT perfect?

Maybe it's just me, but I would like to be married, own a home, and have a considerable amount of savings (at the very least), before I even THINK about a baby.

ComradesTrue · #4 07-06-2009, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

...some of the older women in the office (40s and 50s) say things like "28 is the PREFECT AGE for her to have a baby. It's so perfect!"

It makes me crazy how some people feel the need to live other people's life (or simply comment on it) for them.

Of course there is no perfect age. Everyone's situation is unique.

PeppyGPhiB · #5 07-06-2009, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think everyone has at least one friend who had an "oops baby" with a boyfriend that she's had for like 6 months.

Not me. Not trying to sound snotty, but it's the truth. All of my friends with kids got pregnant after being married for a while.

SydneyK · #6 07-06-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

For some reason, I am surrounded by "oops babies" right now. I can understand an "oops baby" at 16 more than I can at 26, because you're young and stupid about everything, but that's just me.

Birth control (with the exception of abstinence or hysterectomy) isn't 100% effective, regardless of how old or smart the couple is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Not me. Not trying to sound snotty, but it's the truth. All of my friends with kids got pregnant after being married for a while.

The "oops" baby phenomenon isn't limited to the unmarried. (I'm sure you know this. I'm just pointing out that married folks have to deal with this sometimes, too.)

Munchkin03 · #7 07-06-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Birth control (with the exception of abstinence or hysterectomy) isn't 100% effective, regardless of how old or smart the couple is.

Really?! I didn't know this!!!

OMG thanks for enlightening me!

Honestly? I look back to where I was at 16, and although I thought I knew everything, there was a lot--especially in terms of sex and birth control--that I didn't figure out until I was a little older. For what it's worth, I had parents who made sure I had access to what I needed/wanted in that regard, so it's not like I was a Bristol Palin or anything.

The whole point was that when you're a teenager, you may take risks with your body and life that you normally wouldn't after a few years out in the real world. You may not have access to birth control, or you might not be educated on how to use it. By the time you're in your mid-20s, however, the game can be a little different.

SydneyK · #8 07-06-2009, 04:25 PM

^^^ And my whole point was that even once you're an adult who doesn't takes risks, and even if you have access to BC and you're educated on how to use it, you can still get pregnant.

I didn't mean to suggest that you don't know these things. I was just responding to your statement that you understood teenagers' oops babies more than adults' oops babies.

Munchkin03 · #9 07-07-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

^^^ And my whole point was that even once you're an adult who doesn't takes risks, and even if you have access to BC and you're educated on how to use it, you can still get pregnant.

I didn't mean to suggest that you don't know these things. I was just responding to your statement that you understood teenagers' oops babies more than adults' oops babies.

My point wasn't that no form of BC is 100% effective; everyone knows that. Those aren't the accidental pregnancies that I'm really concerned about for the purposes of this discussion.

The point I was getting at is that a teenage girl is probably less responsible than someone 10 years older (and would probably skip a pill or go without a condom once in a while); she would probably listen to her stupid boyfriend about the circumstances under which you WOULDN'T get pregnant; and she would probably feel like she was invincible and think it wouldn't happen to her. Therefore, an accidental pregnancy based on carelessness for a 16 year old is more understandable (it doesn't mean I condone it) than for a 26 year old, who should know better.

KSUViolet06 · #10 07-07-2009, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

The point I was getting at is that a teenage girl is probably less responsible than someone 10 years older (and would probably skip a pill or go without a condom once in a while); she would probably listen to her stupid boyfriend about the circumstances under which you WOULDN'T get pregnant; and she would probably feel like she was invincible and think it wouldn't happen to her. Therefore, an accidental pregnancy based on carelessness for a 16 year old is more understandable (it doesn't mean I condone it) than for a 26 year old, who should know better.

Yes.

For example:

At 16, if your bf tells you "you can skip a pill, and we can sleep together, and still not get pregnant" or something else equally dumb, you just might be uneducated enough to believe him. I can understand that (not that I condone it).

However, if you're 26 and your bf tells you the same thing, you should be educated enough to tell him that that's false and that you need to use a back up. If you believe him, and you get pregnant, I have a hard time just chalking that up to miseducation (because by then you should know better).

epchick · #11 07-07-2009, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

...she would probably listen to her stupid boyfriend about the circumstances under which you WOULDN'T get pregnant...

OMG that is sooo true! I can't believe how many stories I've heard said when I was in HS and then years later by the newer HS girls I know. Things like:

*You can't get pregnant if you have sex in a pool
*You can't get pregnant if you have sex in a hot tub
*You can't have sex if the girl is on top (supposedly the sperm just falls down and doesn't "go up" the vagina to fertilize an egg)
*After you have unprotected sex, you have to do jumping jacks or jump rope (anything with jumping) and the sperm will 'fall out' and you won't get pregnant.
*If you use 2 condoms there is more than a 100% effectiveness (really? lol)
*If you take 2 bc pills the day after you have unprotected sex then you won't get pregnant (supposedly it stops the egg from being fertilized or something)

plus the whole:
*You can't get pregnant if you have anal sex
*You can't get pregnant if you have oral sex
^^^ so those 2 are probably true, but those lead to having sex...and then unprotected sex.

epchick · #12 07-06-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think everyone has at least one friend who had an "oops baby" with a boyfriend that she's had for like 6 months.

Most definitely!

The most recent "oops baby" in my circle of friends, was a product of an extra marital one-night stand. My friend & her hubby were going through tough times, separated for a little (like less than a month or so) and she ended up pregnant within that time. She didn't know if it was her hubby (who she was still having sex with) or the dude. It was VERY clear who was the daddy when the baby popped out though.

My cousins bff has an "oops baby." She's 14.