A recruitment story with a bittersweet ending. - Page 2

unicorn · #16 06-06-2009, 03:14 PM

Cliffhanger... these recruitment stories are WRECKING my nails. Can't wait to hear the rest!

tangelo212 · #17 06-06-2009, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexa6789

Green: Their pref night activities were nothing compared to pinks, and other houses from what I hear. I really liked the girl I was paired with but once again it was someone I didnt know, with the same story of "I just heard so much about you and wanted to meet you." Can anyone tell me why both houses did this to me?

I don't know about the size of your campus, or what chapter total is, or how many PNMs come through, but usually, it is just a logistical/numbers thing, not something personal.

The sororities themselves have no say in who comes to which preference party. Maybe one of your "rushers" was already paired with someone for preference conversation. Often times, the officers in charge of recruitment (sorority members, not panhel) will pair up PNMs with sisters who they think WILL hit it off/have things in common, even if they haven't previously met, because the sisters that the PNM had previously spoken with are already set to speak to another PNM. I'm trying to explain this without revealing membership selection processes, but please know that it is NOT something personal, or that the sisters you spoke to in pervious rounds don't want to preference you.

I did sister-PNM preference matching for recruitment for two years, and it really is hard to keep everyone happy! It really is a logistics/numbers situation, nothing personal.

angels&angles · #18 06-06-2009, 08:42 PM

Sometimes it is that the sorority wants you to meet girls that you don't know (or wants girls who don't know you to meet you). Ideally, this happens before pref night, but sometimes things happen. I also know one year someone dropped out of pref at the very last minute and our entire pref line got off by one, and the entire sorority basically ended up preffing someone they didn't know for 5-10 min until we could sort it out. It was kind of a disaster, although I think we worked it out in the end.

alexa6789 · #19 06-07-2009, 04:07 AM

I woke up the morning of bid day feeling good, but still anxious. It was about 9 am, and bid day activities were supposed to start at noon. I got ready, and finished at about 1045. I was so happy because I hadn't gotten the call and figured I would have by then if it was going to happen. I walked in the other room and came back to a missed call and a voicemail from a number I didn't recognize. My heart sank. I called the number back and it was my greek life advisor telling me I didnt get a bid. I was stunned and beyond upset. I had felt so good about Pink the whole way through rush, but at pref night I had that gut feeling telling me that something wasn't right. I cried for an entire day about it..and a few times after that. Im not usually an emotional person but there was something about that hit me really hard. To make things worse, all of my friends made it into pink, and instantly uploaded all of their bid day pics onto facebook that day. I just wondered why this happened. Was it because of the boyfriend thing? Was it the pref night girl just not liking me? Or was it just that I wasn't Pink material?

I still didnt regret my decision to "suicide" on pref night. I know I would not have been happy at Green. And I'm very glad because later in the middle of the year, Green was having a lot of internal disputes, which led to a lot of girls dropping and they may be losing their charter if they cant get quota. The girl I liked on pref night at Green, the only one I ended up clicking with there also dropped at that point.

The first few weeks were really hard at school, everyone had their new sorority clothes that they would wear around campus, and fun socials that they went to. To make matters worse, my boyfriend was pledging the frat that Pink was paired with for everything. The whole experience left me with feelings of jealousy and hurt my self confidence a bit.

One day I was walking through campus and happened to see one of the girls I really clicked with at Pink. She pulled me aside and told me she was considering dropping Pink, and proceeded to tell me what happened on pref night. After all was said and done, the actives at Pink met to discuss and privately vote on the girls they thought were Pink material. Before they voted, the girls discussed each PNM's strengths and weaknesses. There was a girl I went to high school with who was an upperclassman in Pink. I hadn't thought much about the fact that we didnt like each other in high school, and I figured that was long ago anyway that it wouldnt matter. Appearantly this girl told the other actives ugly lies about me and said she wouldn't tolerate it if I was in the house. of course the actives would listen to their sister and believe her, especially since they dont really know me.

This didnt surprise me much, the possibility entered my mind. I will never know if this is really true, but based on the things she said it sounds plausible. It made me feel a lot better knowing it wasn't my fault, it wasnt me or my personality, and it could have just been some silly high school dispute.

I was still upset though and so sad about how rush turned out, especially since I had been planning on being in a sorority for as long as I could remember.

Then one night I got a call.

It was one of the sisters from ___ inviting me to a COB event they were having. I was quite happy about that call. I figured it would be a second chance at one of the houses and I could give it a try. I figured even if I didnt like it, it was still worth going to.

Anyone want to take a guess about which house(or color!) gave me the call?

qbt1990 · #20 06-07-2009, 05:17 AM

I guess blue!

Zillini · #21 06-07-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexa6789

One day I was walking through campus and happened to see one of the girls I really clicked with at Pink. She pulled me aside and told me she was considering dropping Pink, and proceeded to tell me what happened on pref night. After all was said and done, the actives at Pink met to discuss and privately vote on the girls they thought were Pink material. Before they voted, the girls discussed each PNM's strengths and weaknesses. There was a girl I went to high school with who was an upperclassman in Pink. I hadn't thought much about the fact that we didnt like each other in high school, and I figured that was long ago anyway that it wouldnt matter. Appearantly this girl told the other actives ugly lies about me and said she wouldn't tolerate it if I was in the house. of course the actives would listen to their sister and believe her, especially since they dont really know me.

This didnt surprise me much, the possibility entered my mind. I will never know if this is really true, but based on the things she said it sounds plausible. It made me feel a lot better knowing it wasn't my fault, it wasnt me or my personality, and it could have just been some silly high school dispute.

I understand that you appreciate knowing what may have occurred. Just keep in mind that there is no way for you to know if this is the truth, especially considering the source. This person is considering resigning, therefore must be unhappy with her org/sisters and obviously has no qualms about violating the confidentiality of the organization she pledged herself to for life.

Regardless of whether she told you the truth, a fabrication, or embellished, it sounds like she is purposely trying to create drama for that chapter on campus -- a parting shot if you will. Being unhappy is no excuse. She has no sense of loyalty, committment, or honor. The organization and her sisters are entitled to her loyalty and in this case her continued confidentiality even if she does resign. If she doesn't, I hope her org takes action through their standards process.

AOII Angel · #22 06-07-2009, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zillini

I understand that you appreciate knowing what may have occurred. Just keep in mind that there is no way for you to know if this is the truth, especially considering the source. This person is considering resigning, therefore must be unhappy with her org/sisters and obviously has no qualms about violating the confidentiality of the organization she pledged herself to for life.

Regardless of whether she told you the truth, a fabrication, or embellished, it sounds like she is purposely trying to create drama for that chapter on campus -- a parting shot if you will. Being unhappy is no excuse. She has no sense of loyalty, committment, or honor. The organization and her sisters are entitled to her loyalty and in this case her continued confidentiality even if she does resign. If she doesn't, I hope her org takes action through their standards process.

You know, I agree with all of this, but I can't help but wonder how true the story is. Do you think a sister who really didn't want a PNM in her chapter would wait until after pref to try and get rid of the PNM? That would seem like the worst time since no matter how low on the list that PNM goes, there is still a chance that she will get a bid since she will be on the bid list. It may make this PNM feel better about the way things turned out, but I'm not buying it!

annabella · #23 06-07-2009, 10:54 AM

Depending how Pink's MS works and the number of girls going through, it is possible the sister just didn't realize the PNM was still on the invite list until pref day; prompting her dramatics—going all out to make sure she was as far down the list as possible. Or the girl preffing the OP just felt awkward when she ran into her and embellished/made up a story.

To be fair to the OP, she stated it was plausible, but had no idea if it really happened.

AOII Angel · #24 06-07-2009, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annabella

Depending how Pink's MS works and the number of girls going through, it is possible the sister just didn't realize the PNM was still on the invite list until pref day; prompting her dramatics—going all out to make sure she was as far down the list as possible. Or the girl preffing the OP just felt awkward when she ran into her and embellished/made up a story.

To be fair to the OP, she stated it was plausible, but had no idea if it really happened.

I don't think the OP made up the story...I agree that the girl who told her was trying to stir up some drama. With 5 chapters at this school, I find it hard to believe that the sister wouldn't know that a PNM, who she knew in HS that made such an impression on her that she would throw a big fit about not wanting in her house, was on their lists for prefs.

OhSeven · #25 06-07-2009, 01:03 PM

!! I hope you go Red.

alexa6789 · #26 06-07-2009, 01:43 PM

I often wondered the same thing. Why would she wait until the last night before she finally said something? It is true that maybe she didnt know I was going through rush until the last night. But regardless, I wish they had dropped me sooner because then I could have spent my time concentrating on the other houses, instead of just blowing them off because they weren't pink.

And yes like I said before, I will never know if the story the girl from Pink is completely true, but like I said it sounds plausible. This girl from pink would have never known that the other girl and I went to high school together and that we didnt get along, this is something the girl from pink would have had to hear that night from the other girl.

I will update with more later : )

AlphaXi_Husky · #27 06-07-2009, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexa6789

Anyone want to take a guess about which house(or color!) gave me the call?

I'm guessing Purple!

ComradesTrue · #28 06-07-2009, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexa6789

Anyone want to take a guess about which house(or color!) gave me the call?

Yes. Purple. The very first house that you cut.

KSUViolet06 · #29 06-07-2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Yes. Purple. The very first house that you cut.

Ding. Ding.

And you love it just like you thought you never would.

Surprise.

alexa6789 · #30 06-07-2009, 04:56 PM

Actually the call wasn't from Purple...

or Red...

or Green...

it was Blue!

I went to the COB event at Blue and had a great time getting to know the sisters. it was a much more relaxed setting than the parties during formal rush. I left with a great feeling about Blue, and accepted the bid they gave me the following week. I jumped into the pledge class that had been given bids through formal rush and was initiated with them a few weeks later. It was hard though because I felt like since I came in late, I didn't get to establish that bond with my pledge sisters that they had from the beginning. Until this day I'm still not as close with them as I would like, and sometimes I feel like we just have nothing in common. I have become friends with a lot of the older girls, including my Big who I'm very close with. I love Blue as a whole. It is a great sorority with great ritual and traditions, and it is very hard to get a bid from Blue at other schools. There is a long line of famous Blue women, and the house is well known and great nationally.

It is still hard because I feel like I would have been much closer to the pledge class in Pink than I am with mine in Blue. I know that everything happens for a reason though, and I know that Blue will be a great experience if I put effort into it. I plan to move in the house my junior year, and I would love to hold an exec position. I also want to make more of an effort to hang out with my sisters outside of Blue meetings and events.

Im proud to call myself a Blue, but sometimes it is just a little bittersweet!