Why are questioning PNMs consistently demonized here?

[kddani]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

I reread that thread that the OP is referring to (How do sororities decide?) and I agree that many of GCers responded politely (and I, too, have seen it often. We are sympathetic and try to be helpful.)

The problem arises when people, for whatever reason, act flippant right off the bat. Post # 3 from the original thread comes to mind. The girl (OP) really had a legitimate question - she is naiive, obviously, but to spout off a comment about throwing darts in answer to what was obviously a real question was rude. It smacks of "we're in the club, you're not."

Again, many tried to help but one or two posters kept acting accusatory (like she should KNOW better which she obviously didn't or she wouldn't have cut the last house on pref night) and she eventually got defensive and that didn't bode well for the whole thread.

I agree, she didn't act in an exemplary manner but she didn't throw the first punch. IMO

Yep, it was a flippant response. And sorry that you don't have a sense of humor. I didn't realize that we weren't allowed to joke on these boards!

She's seeking private membership information. She likely already sought it on her campus and didn't get the answer she liked. Rho Chis will tell you that membership selection is private. It's also a question that has been asked a billion times on these boards.

If you would've read my response, I went on to say "Seriously, we can't tell you how members are picked. There are a ton of threads that may answer some of your questions, so spend some time reading."

Sorry it wasn't to your liking.

[swtlilsoni]

Originally Posted by kddani

Yep, it was a flippant response. And sorry that you don't have a sense of humor. I didn't realize that we weren't allowed to joke on these boards!

She's seeking private membership information. She likely already sought it on her campus and didn't get the answer she liked. Rho Chis will tell you that membership selection is private. It's also a question that has been asked a billion times on these boards.

If you would've read my response, I went on to say "Seriously, we can't tell you how members are picked. There are a ton of threads that may answer some of your questions, so spend some time reading."

Sorry it wasn't to your liking.

I dont think the argument started because of me pressing for answers. When people said it was private information I said okay and accepted whatever advice was given. The issue started when you and OTW started blaming me for a personal decision I made completely unrelated to the original question.

So although hostility on this board can stem from a poster consistently nagging for answers, just a reminder that it can also come about from personal attacks (which was the case in my thread).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

I dont think the argument started because of me pressing for answers. When people said it was private information I said okay and accepted whatever advice was given. The issue started when you and OTW started blaming me for a personal decision I made completely unrelated to the original question.

If it was completely unrelated, you shouldn't have offered it up to begin with.

We can only answer questions from what people post on here. That goes both ways. Sometimes people don't say enough and get either a better or worse response than they should. Sometimes people say too much and the same thing happens. In your case, you should have just said that you were wondering about member selection, and left it at that without talking about turning down the pref invite. When people say something's private, let it GO. We disclose an awful lot on here (sometimes even too much for my taste, and I never thought I'd say that) and to have a PNM or anyone else keep nagging and saying what we've given isn't enough, doesn't exactly engender warm feelings.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by kddani

Yep, it was a flippant response. And sorry that you don't have a sense of humor. I didn't realize that we weren't allowed to joke on these boards!

sorry it wasn't to your liking.

Hey, I love a good joke. The Chuck Norris thread is an alltime favorite.

In this case, the OP wasn't looking for wisecracks and jokes.