ROOMMATE CONFLICT - Help! - Page 2

agzg · #16 12-21-2008, 03:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

You mean be in sexile?

That would be it. When I was a freshman, my roommate brought a guy home (at 4am no less), woke me up, I fell back asleep, and they started having sex. I woke up, got up, left the room, and ended up sleeping on the floor in the hallway after pounding on a friend's locked door (she's a ridiculously heavy sleeper).

The next day, it was the fight heard throughout the dorm.

cheerfulgreek · #17 12-21-2008, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

So why did you ask us?

People don't forget shyte like that...are you scared of her? Is she bigger than you or sumn?

sheesh

lol lol

I was going to say tell her now, but I guess I'm a little late.

CuriousWildcat · #18 12-22-2008, 12:35 AM

I know at UK roommates in the dorm have to agree to things like when dishes get done, overnight guests, and study times and sign a paper. If you did this and agreed at the beginning to not have overnight guests, then this is against what youagreed upon and you should talk to your RA.

If you are just afraid of talking to her about it you could still talk to your RA. 6 out of 8 nights in a row is a lot for a dorm room to hold 3 people if everyone isnt comfortable.

jojapeach · #19 12-22-2008, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

She is bigger than me, but that's not the point... both of us knew each other before we became roommate, and I don't want this to tear our friendship.

Why are you so worried about tearing the friendship when it's obvious that your roommate isn't as concerned? If she were concerned, she might have already come to you and said, "We've got to talk about this no visitors thing."

Regardless, your friendship will experience tension over this, but you have to confront this (and then wish her a Merry Chrismahanukwanzaakuh or whatever she celebrates). I hope you've done it by now.

Thetagirl218 · #20 12-22-2008, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PANTHERTEKE

I never knew anything but 24 hour visitations dorms still existed.

Had that not been the case at my school I don't know where I would've spent many drunken nights.

Apparently, UNF is not as open minded as FIU.....I know several people who got in big trouble with campus housing because they had guests over with out going through proper procedures....of course those people never said anything to their roomies and the roomies got pissed and reported them....otherwise it was usually alright...

sherryanne, I would talk with her and if that doesn't work then speak to your RA. You pay for part of the room and if you don't feel comfortable with the boy around then say something!

ASTalumna06 · #21 12-22-2008, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Did you tell her BEFORE you signed up and made the decision to become roommates (which I'm assuming was last spring) that you didn't want overnight visitors? "The beginning of the year" sounds to me like she walked in the first day in September and you flipped the script. If a person I was friends with did that to me, not only would I be pretty pissed, but I'd probably say forget you and do exactly what your roommate is doing.

Very true. This is what comes with rooming with friends. If you don't know what the other expects from day 1, there's going to be a problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CuriousWildcat

I know at UK roommates in the dorm have to agree to things like when dishes get done, overnight guests, and study times and sign a paper. If you did this and agreed at the beginning to not have overnight guests, then this is against what youagreed upon and you should talk to your RA.

We had roommate contracts. At the beginning of the year, you'd fill one out with your roommate, establishing "rules" ahead of time so there's no confusion (similar to what CuriousWildcat has said here). "No boys in the room overnight" would be something you'd want to write down at that time (if both of you agreed). Do you have something like this? Or was it just a verbal agreement? If it's the latter, there's nothing more you can do but talk to her about it.

If you don't have it written down, and she continues to bring her bf over, there's little you can do about it... except request to move somewhere else.

In the meantime, be glad they're not having sex in the room. I'd go to walk into my room at 2am on a Tuesday, and my roommate and her bf would be going at it. And a few times, they did it while I was in the room.

Welcome to having college roommates.

alum · #22 12-22-2008, 11:35 AM

You/your parents are paying for a double not a triple. If the roommate doesn't respect this, you should talk to the Housing Office chain of command starting with your RA.

sherryanne · #23 12-31-2008, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Did you tell her BEFORE you signed up and made the decision to become roommates (which I'm assuming was last spring) that you didn't want overnight visitors? "The beginning of the year" sounds to me like she walked in the first day in September and you flipped the script.

Yes. We had a roommate contract. I was fully aware that she had a boyfriend and he would possibly stay over a night every now and then. However, our housing department does not allow a resident to bring a guest over for more than two consecutive nights, and she broke this rule.

I talked to her on the day before we left. Hopefully, my problem is solved for the rest of the year.

BadCat25 · #24 01-02-2009, 11:10 AM

My chapter has a no men in the rooms policy but that is just what we tell our parents and alums. My roommate and best friend in the chapter started having her BF stay overnite on Friday and Saturday starting last semester. It is just accepted that its OK to do this and if you object you are a bible thumper, a prude, against love or jealous. So I have find somewhere else to sleep which is a real bummer. At least she lets me know when he is going to stay over and unlike some of my sisters its the same guy.

UGAalum94 · #25 01-02-2009, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BadCat25

My chapter has a no men in the rooms policy but that is just what we tell our parents and alums. My roommate and best friend in the chapter started having her BF stay overnite on Friday and Saturday starting last semester. It is just accepted that its OK to do this and if you object you are a bible thumper, a prude, against love or jealous. So I have find somewhere else to sleep which is a real bummer. At least she lets me know when he is going to stay over and unlike some of my sisters its the same guy.

Classy, as much for you to post it as for them to do it.

If this is really happening, you should probably be aware that you are violating house rules and your and/or your roommate probably could end up having to find a place to sleep on a more permanent basis.

This policy probably isn't just something that current members get to agree to.

ASTalumna06 · #26 01-02-2009, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

Basically, at the beginning of the year, I told my roommate that no boys are allowed in the room overnight, but she has broken that a few times already

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

Yes. We had a roommate contract. I was fully aware that she had a boyfriend and he would possibly stay over a night every now and then. However, our housing department does not allow a resident to bring a guest over for more than two consecutive nights, and she broke this rule.

So... you knew and agreed to the fact that she would bring her boyfriend over every so often? If this is the case, it's fine for her to do so. 6 nights in a row, however, is breaking the rules of the university, as you stated. So you do have a right to do something about it.

But the outcome might not be what you want it to be. You've talked to her once about it, and hopefully everything will work out. If not, though, you run the risk of a) dealing with her bf practically living with you b) giving her an "I'm going to tell on you" ultimatum, or c) moving out.