de-pledging ?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by sweatcandy0590

ok so here's my dilemma. i've pledged at a sorority on my campus, but I just dont seem to be like the other girls, it's a terrible fit for me. I've tried to stick it out and get to know the girls, but i got my bid from them in august and it's now november (and initiation is next month), and it seems to actually be getting worse. the girls i have connected with all want to drop.

Can you elaborate as to why you and your friends want to drop? It doesn't make sense to me that if you've found sisters you connect with, you still want to drop. I have two guesses, but I'll let you enlighten us. Remember, yours is not the last pledge class you'll see during your time as a collegian. You'll be able to help recruit the next pledge classes and you might find that you connect better with younger sisters than older sisters.

Originally Posted by sweatcandy0590

this is why i wanted to drop my sorority and try rushing again next fall. from what i've heard, it will be extremely hard because i'll be a sophomore and i'd already accepted a bid from another sorority. however, in my defense, i missed the first day of recruitment, so instead of meeting all of the houses i only met half took my pick from those, so i never had the right start.

Were you happy on bid day or were you not so jazzed about your chapter throughout recruitment? Missing the first day of recruitment definitely could have altered your results, but I highly doubt any chapters would see that as a valid reason for depledging and trying to rerush.

Originally Posted by sweatcandy0590

do you think there's a chance of getting a bid from anyone else if i drop ? i'd rather be in what i'm in now than not greek at all, but i'd MUCH rather be in a sisterhood where i feel connected, not like the only black sheep.

Without knowing your campus, we really don't know the culture of depledging and rerushing. If you've heard from people at your campus it will be quite the uphill battle, it probably will. The bolded part also confuses me. Can you elaborate why you'd rather be in your current chapter than not Greek at all?

Bottom line: I think it comes down to how much effort you are willing to put in to find your place in the chapter. If you're going to be a complainer, or you just want to stay for the sake of wearing Greek letters, do everyone a favor and quit.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Can you elaborate as to why you and your friends want to drop? It doesn't make sense to me that if you've found sisters you connect with, you still want to drop. I have two guesses, but I'll let you enlighten us. Remember, yours is not the last pledge class you'll see during your time as a collegian. You'll be able to help recruit the next pledge classes and you might find that you connect better with younger sisters than older sisters.

During my new member period, I didn't feel that I truly "connected" with anyone. For the most part, I was just going through the motions without a thought about who was going to be my "best friend" and/or "favorite sister". I would go to my meetings, go to my events, and I remember I had a good time, but I knew there was a reason this chapter chose me to be a part of it, and I didn't have a second thought about it for the few months that I was a new member.

I don't really keep in touch with any of the sisters that came before me. I don't even really talk to my big all that much. But my pledge sisters, my little, and a few other girls that came after me are the people that I still contact from time to time, if not a few times a week. And they were the ones who truly became my friends. It's not that I didn't like the older sisters, and it's not as if we didn't have a good time when we hung out, I just found that my better friends were the ones who were initiated with me or after me.

If you weren't getting along with anyone at all, I'd probably be concerned. But if you have girls that you're connecting with, why not stick it out with them?

I've heard it go both ways. For some chapters, sisters from all new member classes bond with one another... for other chapters, sisters bond with the girls in their new member classes more so than with other members. What is your chapter like?

You say that your sorority is a terrible fit for you. Why? Are sisters mistreating you? Do you feel left out? Do sisters not seem to make an effort to get to know you? (If this last statment applies to you, maybe you should try to get to know them. Remember, they were sisters/friends before you joined. Naturally, they're closer with each other than they would be with you right now). What was your recruitment situation like? You said you couldn't go to half of the houses, but how many did you actually go to? Did you still see a good number of sororities? Were you happy where you preffed? Were you wary about this house before you signed your bid? Or were you excited that you got to be a part of their organization?

If you don't want to tell us, at least ask yourself why you truly want to drop. I don't know the details of your situation, but if you like your sorority, if you like your chapter, if you like some of the girls, generally I would say to stick it out. But if you're having MAJOR problems, then CONSIDER dropping. But understand that with that, you might not be a part of Greek life at all.

[honeychile]

Someone asked me about this exact scenario a few years back. I urged her to try her best, to get to know the sisters better, and to try to keep the other new members who were dropping together for the next year.

Almost a year to the day she was initiated, she cancelled her membership. I won't go into the details, but her life at the house had become intolerable, and I fully yet sadly understand her decision.

This is such a personal decision that NOBODY but you can make. If you're initiated, and it doesn't improve, you may come to hate greek life. If you drop, you don't stand a wonderful chance next year - unless you know sisters in other sororities extremely well.

Make a list of Pros and Cons, keeping an open mind, but also remembering that greek life is never all cute & fluffy. Hope you make the decision which is right for YOU.