What defines a helicopter parent?

[agzg]

Eh - I would go so far as to say that my mom and I were best friends. Which was awesome - because she COULDN'T heli-mom me. Friends don't take care of your business for you. She used to give me advice then let me figure it out on my own.

My dad, on the other hand... well since my mom passed on, he doesn't realize that sometimes I just need to vent to someone that's older and can give advice. When mom was alive, I used to call her to vent and she'd give me fixit ideas, I used to call dad if it was a last resort and I needed him to fix something (along the lines of "I don't have this this or this information for this form what is it?" or "I'm $40 short for this or that thing that I need, can you send some money?").

So, I was having problems with registration my last fall semester of grad school, after my mom passed, and I called him to vent about it and see if he had any ideas, and he offered to CALL THE REGISTRAR'S OFFICE.

What?! Simmer the eff down, Dad, I am 23 years old I don't need my daddy to go down and "straighten out" the registrar. I'm more than capable of sticking up for myself.

And then I realized - thank God mom was there when I was growing up. Had my dad been on his own I probably still wouldn't know how to wipe my own butt.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by awkward1

So she sent me a text..big deal. This does not make her a co-dependent latent adolescent.

I didn't mean the article was pertinent to YOUR SITUATION PERSONALLY....I meant it was pertinent to the thread in general. Sorry you misinterpreted.

I knew darned well my parents weren't indifferent. I just continue to be amazed at the degree of involvement parents today have in their kids' social lives - things like drinking and sex, that is - with the kids themselves initiating much of it. There were always parents like this, but nowadays it seems the rule rather than the exception. I'm not saying it's good or bad - it just is very, very odd to me, the same way television was very, very odd to 80 year olds in 1950.

[awkward1]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I didn't mean the article was pertinent to YOUR SITUATION PERSONALLY....I meant it was pertinent to the thread in general. Sorry you misinterpreted.

I knew darned well my parents weren't indifferent. I just continue to be amazed at the degree of involvement parents today have in their kids' social lives - things like drinking and sex, that is - with the kids themselves initiating much of it. There were always parents like this, but nowadays it seems the rule rather than the exception. I'm not saying it's good or bad - it just is very, very odd to me, the same way television was very, very odd to 80 year olds in 1950.

Gotcha!

I have no idea why my kids feel like they can open up to me about private matters..I have no parenting ideology to share and I don't think that it is something that I cultivated intentionally. My feeling is that sex is so pervasive in the media that teens do not feel that it is a taboo or awkward subject like it used to be when I was growing up. I think that I feel more awkward talking about it than they do! And I have another hunch that I am going to put out there: kids lives are far more an open book than they used to be in the days before the internet, AIM, and Facebook. With all of this comes the ability for gossip, lies and secrets to be exposed and spread with lightning speed. Did you ever have a good friend betray you somehow via AIM? Ouch. IMHO parents provide a stable force that kids can count on, always there, always loving no matter what. I did some stupid things when I was a teen and in college but they weren't blasted all over the internet via Facebook pictures or heaven forbid Juicy Campus. Perhaps kids talk with their parents more now about personal matters because they know it won't be spread via AIM or other means. Am I making any sense or just rambling....I have a cold and I feel like I may be rambling

[agzg]

Originally Posted by awkward1

Perhaps kids talk with their parents more now about personal matters because they know it won't be spread via AIM or other means.

Exactly. My mom knew more of my secrets than my very best friends that were my age - just because I knew she'd never tell another living soul (not even my dad!).

[AOII_LB93]

Ahh, a pertinent article on MSN today.
When Employees Bring Mom and Dad to Work

No matter how old you are, your parents will always view you as their little boy or girl, their responsibility. And to some extent you'll always feel like a child, whether or not you want to. But isn't there a line drawn at work's door?


Mixing parents and your professional life was unheard of once upon a time. You went to your parents for guidance, but in the end you made your own decisions about your career. Your boss was just a name your parents knew when you griped about your job, but they never met each other. Now, many young workers not only want their parents involved in their careers, they also want their bosses to welcome the whole family with open arms.

Read the rest here:http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/...274994534-JS-5

[nikki1920]

Great article from CNN..

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/famil...nts/index.html

Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ahh, a pertinent article on MSN today.
When Employees Bring Mom and Dad to Work

No matter how old you are, your parents will always view you as their little boy or girl, their responsibility. And to some extent you'll always feel like a child, whether or not you want to. But isn't there a line drawn at work's door?


Mixing parents and your professional life was unheard of once upon a time. You went to your parents for guidance, but in the end you made your own decisions about your career. Your boss was just a name your parents knew when you griped about your job, but they never met each other. Now, many young workers not only want their parents involved in their careers, they also want their bosses to welcome the whole family with open arms.

Read the rest here:http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/...274994534-JS-5

That's one of the craziest things I've read. I can't begin to imagine my reaction if someone I made an offer to told me they had to run it by their Mom & Dad first...

Wait, I retract that. Yes, I do. I'd pull the offer immediately.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

Great article from CNN..

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/famil...nts/index.html

Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

I lolled at the kids and parents who are gang-bangers. I assume that isn't in Mt Pleasant, PA. Don't you love when people make comments that have nothing to do w/ the article? (although the helicopter gangbanger mom sounds like the latest reality show on E!).

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

...
Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

Unfortunately, yes. And even more unfortunately, they're doing it more and more as time passes, and administrators at some universities are not doing enough to stop it.

I'm a huge supporter of FERPA, if for no other reason than it allows me to cite a policy when explaining why I won't discuss little angel's grades (or attendance, or class participation) with anyone other than little angel him/herself.

Really, it's getting out of hand. University administrators have better things to do than field calls and unannounced visits from unhappy parents. It's college, for crying out loud; let your child practice being an adult!

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Really, it's getting out of hand. University administrators have better things to do than field calls and unannounced visits from unhappy parents. It's college, for crying out loud; let your child practice being an adult!

Yes, yes, yes! I agree 100%. My friend who works at USC now hates heli-parents more than ever. She could regale us all with tales that would turn your toenails.

ETA Can we sticky this article in the recruitment section?

[AKA_Monet]

Here you go folks... I will be taking your checks today!!! LOL!!!

Helicopter Parents Have Landed: Dealing with Difficult Conversations
Audio Conference Price: $199.00

SUMMARY
Students are back on campus, accompanied by masses of parents who will be making their way into offices and classrooms at your university. How can you effectively manage helicopter parents on your campus, and what are the best ways to deal with their often difficult behavior? Join us for a live, 60-minute audio conference where you and your colleagues will discover:

• Tools to Manage College Parent Complaints, Frustrations & Conflict
  
• Checklist for Responding to the Most Difficult Parent Conversations
  
• How Faculty & Staff Should Handle an Increase in Parent Involvement
  
• Keys to Forge Partnerships with Parents & Families at Your College

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by 33girl

See, this is what absolutely slays me about this generation. Even if we had cell phones in my college days and even if I had consumed the equivalent of an entire brewery, I don't think I would EVER be sloshed enough to send my dad a drunk text. That concept is beyond baffling!!! The most I ever did was after college when I moved back home, I called them to let them know I was staying with a girlfriend - who was actually a boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure they knew this, but were fine with me not saying so (preferred it, I'm sure).

I know many a friend who accidentally drunk dialed their parents during school. It was always a good laugh. The drunk text, though, only came about at the tail end of college.

Originally Posted by nikki1920

Great article from CNN..

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/famil...nts/index.html

Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

When I was an undergrad, I was in a meeting with a professor when he got a call from one of the student's parents. It was around paper time, and the parent wanted to know why their kid couldn't get an extra extension. It shocked the heck out of me, but the professor wasn't surprised. He had gotten several similar calls.

When I'm a parent, I hope to God I'm never like that.

[srmom]

I found this on the collegeboard website (surfing for the next SAT test date for junior son - last go round THANK GOD).

Thought y'all might find it interesting. I took the quiz and got "Stay the Course" meaning that I had a "healthy degree" of involvement. Some of the questions were illuminating, such as, "Do you meet with the guidance counselor without your child?" I don't even know who the guidance counselor is



http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/...dy/155044.html

[alum]

I took the quiz as well.

"Stay the Course: Your level of involvement seems to indicate a good balance between your child's responsibilities and decisions, and your advice and guidance."

[awkward1]

Oh No!! I need to get more involved! It says my child could benefit from me talking to their high school college counselor. Ummm, about what? My kids pretty much have it under control.
Dang, I can't win....