What happened?

[uk2011]

Originally Posted by smiley21

Ok, you just mention "girl" like she is the only one who can decide if you come back to the sorority. It is a sorority, so there are other girls who have a say too. I just don't think that it is fair for you to assume that she was fake. She could have really loved you, but she is not the only person that decides.

I said "girl" because I talked to one girl at a time. It happened with three girls in one house and two in another, and apparently not just to me.

Listen, I am sooo sorry you all think I'm wrong for believing that particular group of girls was fake. But with all due respect, you weren't there, and no sorority is perfect.

Also: please re-read my original post. I said what was hard for me is that it all seemed so fake. Nowhere did I put down those two sororities, or sororities in general. I felt like the houses I visited were misleading. If you actually personally know the girls I'm talking about, then please, feel free to correct me. It just seems like maybe some of you all are arguing for the sake of arguing.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by uk2011

I said "girl" because I talked to one girl at a time. It happened with three girls in one house and two in another, and apparently not just to me.

Listen, I am sooo sorry you all think I'm wrong for believing that particular group of girls was fake. But with all due respect, you weren't there, and no sorority is perfect.

Also: please re-read my original post. I said what was hard for me is that it all seemed so fake. Nowhere did I put down those two sororities, or sororities in general. I felt like the houses I visited were misleading. If you actually personally know the girls I'm talking about, then please, feel free to correct me. It just seems like maybe some of you all are arguing for the sake of arguing.

You'll see when you are on the other side next year. An active can genuinely like a PNM and want her to come back, but if she can't convince the chapter to keep her over others (particularly if a chapter has to make a lot of cuts), she will get cut. I know I have liked PNMs that my chapter cut. I understand how it SEEMS fake, but it isn't necessarily fake.

Enjoy your new member period in YOUR chapter!

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by uk2011

I said "girl" because I talked to one girl at a time. It happened with three girls in one house and two in another, and apparently not just to me.

Listen, I am sooo sorry you all think I'm wrong for believing that particular group of girls was fake. But with all due respect, you weren't there, and no sorority is perfect.

Also: please re-read my original post. I said what was hard for me is that it all seemed so fake. Nowhere did I put down those two sororities, or sororities in general. I felt like the houses I visited were misleading. If you actually personally know the girls I'm talking about, then please, feel free to correct me. It just seems like maybe some of you all are arguing for the sake of arguing.

Hundreds of girls going through recruitment. Minutes to get an impression of someone. Decisions being out of your hands sometimes. You seriously think rush is some fabulous process where people become best friends overnight?

I have told girls I really liked them and would like to see them again. It was the truth. The truth was also that it might happen and it might not based on membership selection on both sides.

I would pay money to see you when you get on the other side of rush. When you pull so hard for a girl you really think would make a great sister, only to have said girl think the whole process seems fake because she didn't get voted through.

We're not arguing for the sake of arguing, sweetie. We're arguing because in the world of sororities, we actually know more than you.

[uk2011]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Hundreds of girls going through recruitment. Minutes to get an impression of someone. Decisions being out of your hands sometimes. You seriously think rush is some fabulous process where people become best friends overnight?

I have told girls I really liked them and would like to see them again. It was the truth. The truth was also that it might happen and it might not based on membership selection on both sides.

I would pay money to see you when you get on the other side of rush. When you pull so hard for a girl you really think would make a great sister, only to have said girl think the whole process seems fake because she didn't get voted through.

We're not arguing for the sake of arguing, sweetie. We're arguing because in the world of sororities, we actually know more than you.

Wow. THAT was uncalled for.

Listen, I think the girls I talked to were fake. I talked to dozens of other girls I loved in many different sororities, and even more that I loved in their same sororities. I am sorry you think that is so wrong, and that I am a "melodramatic bitch" for feeling that way. But I guess the great thing about life is that you can make that opinion about me, without actually knowing me. Just like I can make an opinion about the few girls who came across to me as being fake.


Also: please understand that I am NOT angry! I am angry at this conversation, not at my Recruitment experience. I had fun. Sure, I had disappointments, but I've also made great friends and found a group of girls I absolutely adore.

[DMBabyZTA]

Tippiechick, well said!! I mean it, I agree with you! Well said sista

It really sounds to me that you went into recruitment with the wrong attitude and such. We do know more than you think. For goodness sakes we are trained for lack of a better phrase "weed through the bad apples". We can see straight through a girl who is putting on a front.

And what many pmn do not realize is it's a two way street. It's not hard to tell from both sides where the pmn fits.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by DMBabyZTA

Tippiechick, well said!! I mean it, I agree with you! Well said sista

Thank you.

[uk2011]

Originally Posted by DMBabyZTA

Tippiechick, well said!! I mean it, I agree with you! Well said sista

It really sounds to me that you went into recruitment with the wrong attitude and such. We do know more than you think. For goodness sakes we are trained for lack of a better phrase "weed through the bad apples". We can see straight through a girl who is putting on a front.

And what many pmn do not realize is it's a two way street. It's not hard to tell from both sides where the pmn fits.

You actually made my point, in a way. I would much rather someone not give me any false hope of getting asked back if she has any idea at all that I won't fit in there. I know sometimes it is hard to tell.

Although I'd love to hear how I went into Recruitment with a bad attitude. I ended up in a place I'm happy. Yes, I got cut from two houses I was surprised about, but I don't know of anyone who didn't get cut from houses they were surprised about.

I guess I've learned my lesson here...next time I want to disagree with someone, I'll keep my mouth shut. Funny thing is, I wasn't even disagreeing...

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by uk2011

You actually made my point, in a way. I would much rather someone not give me any false hope of getting asked back if she has any idea at all that I won't fit in there. I know sometimes it is hard to tell.

Although I'd love to hear how I went into Recruitment with a bad attitude. I ended up in a place I'm happy. Yes, I got cut from two houses I was surprised about, but I don't know of anyone who didn't get cut from houses they were surprised about.

I guess I've learned my lesson here...next time I want to disagree with someone, I'll keep my mouth shut. Funny thing is, I wasn't even disagreeing...

1) Those girls were probably not trying to give you false hope. Get over it. They actually probably liked you.

2) RIF! She was addressing the OP.

3) Disagreeing is perfectly fine and encouraged. But, be aware, that people on here aren't going to let comments go if they don't agree with them.

[uk2011]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

1) Those girls were probably not trying to give you false hope. Get over it. They actually probably liked you.

Geeze. I didn't SAY they were "trying" to. I wasn't trying to start an argument with you over that, too!! I was simply saying that the girls probably DO know best if a PNM is going to fit in, and if they have any idea that they won't, then maybe it would be better to not ever even bring up the possibility of another invite. That's the only thing I was trying to say. Merely a comment. I wasn't disagreeing with you at all.

[DMBabyZTA]

Originally Posted by uk2011

Geeze. I didn't SAY they were "trying" to. I wasn't trying to start an argument with you over that, too!! I was simply saying that the girls probably DO know best if a PNM is going to fit in, and if they have any idea that they won't, then maybe it would be better to not ever even bring up the possibility of another invite. That's the only thing I was trying to say. Merely a comment. I wasn't disagreeing with you at all.

I was posting about the OP. Sorry for the confusion and sorry I cannot type tonight. Apologies guys. It's PNM duhhh. wow anywho. These are two different stories with two totally different scenarios. The op and yours uk2011. Bottom line and this should be the basis of it all. We cannot tell you what went wrong. We were not sitting in the room, conducting recruitment with the people you rushed. Sorry, there's the truth, black and white. If you don't like it, don't go into rush thinking you'll end up in house, you'll be very disappointed. I cannot say it enough and i feel like it's been said more times than i can count. Go into rush with an open mind, give everyone a chance... blah blah. I thought it would be more common sense, but apparently that's far from the truth.
You win some, you lose some. IT'S LIFE!