Quote:
Originally Posted by jonnydrillbit
Here are some of the many reasons why schools have chosen to adopt this policy.
1) Men arent allowed at sorority rush, why is it important to see how the men treat women, but now how women treat men?
2) Some people arent joining a fraternity to meet women. it's just not important to them. some people arent even attracted to women. This needs to be understood and respected.
3) Rush events shouldnt be parties. They shouldnt have alcohol (most schools have dry rush now anyway) and they shouldnt have women or dancing. Rush events should be things like batting cages, poker nights, or nfl screenings. Women are not necessary at these events.
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Thank you for your considered reply. I think we will have to agree to disagree to an extent, but let me please offer the following replies to your specific numbered as you have numbered them.
1. Where formal recruitment exists for men, women are not present. But at many schools, formal recruitment is merely a formality. By the time formal recruitment comes around, rush is essentially over. This is the big difference between the men and women when it comes to rush- at least at the schools I am familiar with. For the women, rush is 100% formal and structured. For the men, rush is largely informal and by word-of-mouth/personal contact with the formal rush process having some partial degree of usefulness at the end of the real rush season.
2. This is a tricky one. Fraternities were founded as social organizations, and that obvious appeal continues today. As I said before, the importance of having quality women attend informal rush events (I will use the term informal to refer to any rush event outside of formal IFC recruitment times at a given school) is that it says something about the quality of the men of that chapter. It helps paint a broader picture of the men of the chapter from a social standpoint- which is the point of a fraternity (at least to me.)
As for respecting men who don't like girls by not having girls at parties- if a chapter wishes to pledge and initiate a homosexual, more power to them. Being gay should not be a barrier to someone joining a fraternity. However, there has to be some respect for the group as a whole. If a chapter of 100 is going to pledge 1 gay man, then that one pledge cannot reasonably expect the entire chapter to adjust their entire recruiting process or any other aspect of their existence to de-emphasize the primary drive of the vast majority of human beings to find someone of the opposite sex with which to procreate. Any man who is rushing and is gay, and thinks women at rush events is somehow disrespectful of his rights, is well advised to avoid Greek life altogether- and perhaps society at large as well. There is a big difference between tolerating direct discrimination versus expecting everyone else to modify their lives to enhance your personal comfort.
3. During formal rush, I would even eliminate some of the kinds of events you are talking about. That should be about sitting down with rushees one on one to talk- almost in a job interview setting. This is important since formal rush happens towards the end of the total rush picture and there is much less time to get to know someone and determine if they are a good fit.
As for informal rush, I think more dry events are a good idea- especially during those initial meeting points when you are seeing people for the first time. It is dangerous and foolish (as well as illegal) to have a party for a bunch of high schoolers you have never met and get them drunk.
Final question for you- what kind of dues do you guys pay and where do they go? At southern schools, dues can be very high- I paid $2,500 a semester back when I was an active 10 years ago- and most of that was for rush and social. And no, that does not cover alcohol. It was always BYOB. That money covered bands, renting out hotels, security, 3rd party servers etc.
Point being- fraternity life for guys like me was about social activities, and that is the only reason we spent that kind of money to be members. But I also know we have chapters where the dues are so low that 50-75% of the money covers funds sent to nationals- so clearly social calendars are not so important there. This difference can be driven by the nature of a given school as much as a given chapter.
I think that is where the disconnect on rush gets to in the end. And it is also the broader disconnect between many fraternities' chapters in different regions.
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