What defines a helicopter parent?

[SydneyK]

I just got off the phone with a parent of one of my students (college student, mind you). She's upset because her son cannot get a job because he doesn't yet have his degree. And he doesn't yet have his degree because I won't change his grade.

Of course, her little angel won't approach me about this because he knows I won't change his grade (because he didn't do the work). But, he's convinved Mommy that I'm a big fat meanie who enjoys preventing college students from graduating.

Thank God for FERPA. And thank goodness my department chair is not phased by heli-parents.

While this clearly isn't a definition of a heliparent, I'd say she's a pretty good example of one.

[agzg]

Eh - I would go so far as to say that my mom and I were best friends. Which was awesome - because she COULDN'T heli-mom me. Friends don't take care of your business for you. She used to give me advice then let me figure it out on my own.

My dad, on the other hand... well since my mom passed on, he doesn't realize that sometimes I just need to vent to someone that's older and can give advice. When mom was alive, I used to call her to vent and she'd give me fixit ideas, I used to call dad if it was a last resort and I needed him to fix something (along the lines of "I don't have this this or this information for this form what is it?" or "I'm $40 short for this or that thing that I need, can you send some money?").

So, I was having problems with registration my last fall semester of grad school, after my mom passed, and I called him to vent about it and see if he had any ideas, and he offered to CALL THE REGISTRAR'S OFFICE.

What?! Simmer the eff down, Dad, I am 23 years old I don't need my daddy to go down and "straighten out" the registrar. I'm more than capable of sticking up for myself.

And then I realized - thank God mom was there when I was growing up. Had my dad been on his own I probably still wouldn't know how to wipe my own butt.

[AOII_LB93]

Ahh, a pertinent article on MSN today.
When Employees Bring Mom and Dad to Work

No matter how old you are, your parents will always view you as their little boy or girl, their responsibility. And to some extent you'll always feel like a child, whether or not you want to. But isn't there a line drawn at work's door?


Mixing parents and your professional life was unheard of once upon a time. You went to your parents for guidance, but in the end you made your own decisions about your career. Your boss was just a name your parents knew when you griped about your job, but they never met each other. Now, many young workers not only want their parents involved in their careers, they also want their bosses to welcome the whole family with open arms.

Read the rest here:http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/...274994534-JS-5

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ahh, a pertinent article on MSN today.
When Employees Bring Mom and Dad to Work

No matter how old you are, your parents will always view you as their little boy or girl, their responsibility. And to some extent you'll always feel like a child, whether or not you want to. But isn't there a line drawn at work's door?


Mixing parents and your professional life was unheard of once upon a time. You went to your parents for guidance, but in the end you made your own decisions about your career. Your boss was just a name your parents knew when you griped about your job, but they never met each other. Now, many young workers not only want their parents involved in their careers, they also want their bosses to welcome the whole family with open arms.

Read the rest here:http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/...274994534-JS-5

That's one of the craziest things I've read. I can't begin to imagine my reaction if someone I made an offer to told me they had to run it by their Mom & Dad first...

Wait, I retract that. Yes, I do. I'd pull the offer immediately.

[nikki1920]

Great article from CNN..

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/famil...nts/index.html

Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

Great article from CNN..

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/famil...nts/index.html

Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

I lolled at the kids and parents who are gang-bangers. I assume that isn't in Mt Pleasant, PA. Don't you love when people make comments that have nothing to do w/ the article? (although the helicopter gangbanger mom sounds like the latest reality show on E!).

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

...
Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

Unfortunately, yes. And even more unfortunately, they're doing it more and more as time passes, and administrators at some universities are not doing enough to stop it.

I'm a huge supporter of FERPA, if for no other reason than it allows me to cite a policy when explaining why I won't discuss little angel's grades (or attendance, or class participation) with anyone other than little angel him/herself.

Really, it's getting out of hand. University administrators have better things to do than field calls and unannounced visits from unhappy parents. It's college, for crying out loud; let your child practice being an adult!

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Really, it's getting out of hand. University administrators have better things to do than field calls and unannounced visits from unhappy parents. It's college, for crying out loud; let your child practice being an adult!

Yes, yes, yes! I agree 100%. My friend who works at USC now hates heli-parents more than ever. She could regale us all with tales that would turn your toenails.

ETA Can we sticky this article in the recruitment section?

[AKA_Monet]

Here you go folks... I will be taking your checks today!!! LOL!!!

Helicopter Parents Have Landed: Dealing with Difficult Conversations
Audio Conference Price: $199.00

SUMMARY
Students are back on campus, accompanied by masses of parents who will be making their way into offices and classrooms at your university. How can you effectively manage helicopter parents on your campus, and what are the best ways to deal with their often difficult behavior? Join us for a live, 60-minute audio conference where you and your colleagues will discover:

• Tools to Manage College Parent Complaints, Frustrations & Conflict
  
• Checklist for Responding to the Most Difficult Parent Conversations
  
• How Faculty & Staff Should Handle an Increase in Parent Involvement
  
• Keys to Forge Partnerships with Parents & Families at Your College

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by 33girl

See, this is what absolutely slays me about this generation. Even if we had cell phones in my college days and even if I had consumed the equivalent of an entire brewery, I don't think I would EVER be sloshed enough to send my dad a drunk text. That concept is beyond baffling!!! The most I ever did was after college when I moved back home, I called them to let them know I was staying with a girlfriend - who was actually a boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure they knew this, but were fine with me not saying so (preferred it, I'm sure).

I know many a friend who accidentally drunk dialed their parents during school. It was always a good laugh. The drunk text, though, only came about at the tail end of college.

Originally Posted by nikki1920

Great article from CNN..

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/famil...nts/index.html

Read the comment from the college professor. Are parents really doing that? Wow.

When I was an undergrad, I was in a meeting with a professor when he got a call from one of the student's parents. It was around paper time, and the parent wanted to know why their kid couldn't get an extra extension. It shocked the heck out of me, but the professor wasn't surprised. He had gotten several similar calls.

When I'm a parent, I hope to God I'm never like that.

[srmom]

I found this on the collegeboard website (surfing for the next SAT test date for junior son - last go round THANK GOD).

Thought y'all might find it interesting. I took the quiz and got "Stay the Course" meaning that I had a "healthy degree" of involvement. Some of the questions were illuminating, such as, "Do you meet with the guidance counselor without your child?" I don't even know who the guidance counselor is



http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/...dy/155044.html

[navane]

Originally Posted by srmom

I found this on the collegeboard website (surfing for the next SAT test date for junior son - last go round THANK GOD).

Thought y'all might find it interesting. I took the quiz and got "Stay the Course" meaning that I had a "healthy degree" of involvement. Some of the questions were illuminating, such as, "Do you meet with the guidance counselor without your child?" I don't even know who the guidance counselor is

I don't have kids, but, I took the quiz based on what I would do if I did. I'm a university administrator and my result told me that I needed to "Get More Involved."

.....Kelly

[AOII Angel]

LOL...I took the quiz for my mom who was overly protective as a parent. It said, "Get more involved." ha ha. This for the woman who would only let us choose one of five majors because the others weren't practical! I think we turned out just right.

[Munchkin03]

I answered it as my parents--and they scored a great big "Get More Involved."

I think my dad would have been a helicopter parent if my mom had let him. He's pretty protective and asks a lot of questions--but sometimes it's a good thing. One of my older sisters was diagnosed with pretty advanced cancer late last year--within a week, he had flown to where she was. I think if my mom was involved, she would have made him wait it out a minute.

[ree-Xi]

A few months ago, someone I know posted a very public diatribe (on Facebook) about some "mean girls" who were teasing her 14-year old daughter. Her daughter was on a bus riding to an "away" sports event, and a few of the other girls were making fun of her. Her daughter's friend, who had been sitting next to her, got up from her seat and sat with the "mean girls". Her daughter started to cry on bus and sat by herself on the way home.

The mother tells the story, and finished with "THESE GIRLS BETTER WATCH THEIR BACKS!! They have pissed off a mama bear!!! I HATE GIRLS LIKE THAT!!"

Now, I don't have tolerance for bullying, and I hate to see any kid ostracized and made fun of, but really? Do you think that this is going to help your kid?

To make matters worse, more then ten other people commented in similar fashion "Nobody better bother -----", "I'll come and teach those kids a lesson", and "what are their dads' names? I happen to know a guy that would be happy to pay their dads a little visit!!!

FWAP! FWAP! indeed!