Quote:
Originally Posted by RedefinedDiva
*standing up*
My name is RD and I am guilty of this.
*covering face*
OK, seriously, I do still refer to men and women, in coversation, as "girl" and "boy." I don't know why. In conversation, as a quick retort, I usually spout "Girl/boy, please!" I don't mean it was a means to belittle any man or woman, but it's just force of habit. I have been making a meaningful attempt to correct it since a guy I was conversing with "checked" me on it. I didn't even realize it until he got all loose and stated, "I'm not a boy. I'm a man." For a moment, I was confused as hell. Once he told me what I said, I apologized and began to make a conscious effort to correct it.
I don't think it's a subconscious means to put someone or myself down. I find that lots of folks that grew up in N.O. still refer to men/women as boys/girls just out of habit. Of course, out of respect for elders, we would never use those terms in reference to them. But if we are the same age, expect to be called a boy/girl. Another big one is to call them chicks/dudes.
I only use those words in very informal conversation and if anyone were to ever express discomfort with being referred to as such, I'd make every effort to correct it. It truly isn't intended to offend anyone.
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I generally don't, either, unless it is accompanied by a condescending tone. My N.O. friend still says "boy/girl" a lot, too.
Only black men correct me when I've jokingly said "boy, please."
Random "guy" encounter:
I tend not to respond to people who say "hey guys." When they wonder why I'm ignoring them I say "oh...I'm a woman so I knew you weren't talking to me."
That makes some people mad, especially men who think that male is the gendered standard. My friend and I had 2 black men try to holla at us at an event. The men prefaced their pick up lines with "hey, guys, my buddy and I have a question." I immediately said "oh, you're talking to us? well, are you ladies doing alright today?" The guy was like
"what are you talking about? Are you calling us ladies?" I said "are you calling us men?" The dude was mad and said that everyone's a guy because male is the standard, but not everyone's a lady because female isn't the standard. I guess I was supposed to be thrilled at that male-centric logic. Instead, I saw that it was hopeless and said "have a great day" and walked away. While my friend (forever the patient diplomat--eventhough we're equally feminist) stayed behind to explain to his slow behind what just happened. Too bad she also had to listen to the rest of their horrendous pick up lines.
This actually fits the topic in a very patterns-of-behavior way.
Hybrid Mode
