LB's/Dating/Frat Hoes

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by smc112

I read the passage. It was rather interesting. I haven't read Song of Songs that much. Anyway, it was interesting what my bible's commentary had to say about this passage. This is what my bible's commentary said: "If love is so wonderful, as this poem beautifully sings, shouldn't people pursue it recklessly? Yet, the beloved warns them not to. Three times she urges others not to force love, but to let it develop at its own rate. Love should wait for its proper time."

Yeah, I like Song of Songs too. Solomon's wife pointed out another aspect of faithful commitment. She said "Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it". I found that one in Song 8:7. That to me means love is meant to be an eternal flame. (as long as there's no cheating involved) I can't deal with that mess. One woman for one man and one man for one woman. Period.

[smc112]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

That to me means love is meant to be an eternal flame. (as long as there's no cheating involved) I can't deal with that mess. One woman for one man and one man for one woman. Period.

Yeah, cheating breaks the bond of trust. That is why Jesus said that it is the only lawful reason to get a divorce, because he knows that the trust is broken. I do have a question for you. Do you think it is wrong to date other people while you are single? I've had the mentality that you are free to talk to whoever while you are single. I'm not talking about sleeping around with various people. I'm talking about going out on dates and getting to know another individual. I feel that people should always keep their options open while they are single. You might find that the other individual might be more compatible with you and might be a better fit for a mate. Anyway, getting back to the original question. Do you feel that it is wrong for single people to date others? For an example, my sister was dating this guy and their relationship was always up and down. She met another guy while she was talking to her boyfriend. Guess what? The other guy she met, they got married and have been married for 6 years now and have two children together. If she were so adamant about a monogamous relationship, she wouldn't have ever met her husband. So I in a sense feel people need to keep all options open while they are single. What do you think?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by smc112

I do have a question for you. Do you think it is wrong to date other people while you are single? I've had the mentality that you are free to talk to whoever while you are single. I'm not talking about sleeping around with various people. I'm talking about going out on dates and getting to know another individual. I feel that people should always keep their options open while they are single. You might find that the other individual might be more compatible with you and might be a better fit for a mate. Anyway, getting back to the original question. Do you feel that it is wrong for single people to date others? For an example, my sister was dating this guy and their relationship was always up and down. She met another guy while she was talking to her boyfriend. Guess what? The other guy she met, they got married and have been married for 6 years now and have two children together. If she were so adamant about a monogamous relationship, she wouldn't have ever met her husband. So I in a sense feel people need to keep all options open while they are single. What do you think?

Yeah, technically you are free to see other people if you're single(not married). You're not married, so technically it's o.k. It's just me. I only commit myself to one woman at a time, and if she's not the right one, I end the relationship, take a break for a while to work on myself, and then I move onto the next one. I never get involved with other women while I'm involved with my own. What you're doing isn't wrong because you are not married to him, but I do think the person you are seeing should be on the same page as you. Since you're not having sexual relations with other men, I don't see anything abnormal here. Honestly though, if you're having 2nd thoughts about him, you should let him know and break it off before you start to see other men. To me, I think it's only fair and the right thing to do.

When it comes to relationships, I think a lot of times people too often become consumed with the emotion of "romance", and very quickly after marriage, we find that the romance evaporates to reveal two very flawed jokers in a difficult world, which could have been the case with your sister if she would have married her X. I would rather stay with one woman and involve no other woman until I see my current relationship isn't going to work out. The reason why I mention how people get caught up in the romance of it all is because they don't realize that sooner or later they'll discover that the bright and happy romance has devolved into everyday living, and that's when they discover that their spouses have a shortage of character and virtue, then couples become discouraged and frustrated. This is why a lot of couples get divorced before the ink on the marriage license has dried. Me? I have to go in for the long haul. If I start to feel that she's not good for me, I would let her know before I started seeing another woman. No relationship is going to be roses, not even a marriage. I'm not sure what your situation may be, but IMO, as long as two people are physically attracted to each other, and have respect and love for each other, I don't see why they need to split or see other people.

I think what happens from the beginning in these relationships today, is people are quick to fall into romance, and then later, quick to bail out of commitment.

If you are involved with someone, whatever you may be going through, my advice to you is to make sure he is serving you. I mention this a lot in the D&R forums. This is important in any relationship. At least it is in mine. When you choose a person to get into a relationship with, especially for a woman choosing a man, because to me, there is nothing more winsome as a servants heart in a potential spouse. You have to ask yourself, is the man (I'm assuming you're a woman.) to whom you are attracted quick to give to others, or quick to go the 2nd mile in serving others? Or does this joker seem to live only for himself, withdraw the needs of others, or pretty much seek to satisfy himself only? A selfish, "do for me and don't ask me to do for you" joker is not someone you'll be happy with long term.

When you get some time, read Genesis 24:14. If I'm not mistaken this should elaborate on why I say a man should serve his woman. If it's the wrong verse let me know, but I think it may be the right one.

I hope you find the right man, if you haven't already.

ETA: Make sure you watch how he behaves when he's under pressure or stress too. That's important.

[smc112]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

When it comes to relationships, I think a lot of times people too often become consumed with the emotion of "romance", and very quickly after marriage, we find that the romance evaporates to reveal two very flawed jokers in a difficult world

I think what happens from the beginning in these relationships today, is people are quick to fall into romance, and then later, quick to bail out of commitment.

You have to ask yourself, is the man (I'm assuming you're a woman.) to whom you are attracted quick to give to others, or quick to go the 2nd mile in serving others? Or does this joker seem to live only for himself, withdraw the needs of others, or pretty much seek to satisfy himself only? A selfish, "do for me and don't ask me to do for you" joker is not someone you'll be happy with long term.

I hope you find the right man, if you haven't already.

In your first comment, that is exactly what happens when people are "lusting" after each other. When the spirit of lust leaves, people then start to realize that they don't have anything in common with the other individual. That is why I feel people should at least date two years before they marry. That way people will know if it is lust or actually love. Two years is a long enough time to see all sides of an individual. You also mentioned that a woman should seek after a man who has a servant's heart. It is funny that you mentioned that, because I dated a guy who was selfish and not a giver (or you could say cheap!) Two bad combinations! I didn't talk to him no longer than a couple of weeks. That really irritated me. Yeah, I would run for the hills if I sensed that a guy was selfish and cheap. Even Proverbs mentions not to eat the food of a cheap man because he is always thinking about the cost. LOL Anyway, a selfish person always takes and doesn't deposit anything back. You are right. I wasn't happy with that guy who was selfish, and I know from now on to watch those signs in men.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by smc112

In your first comment, that is exactly what happens when people are "lusting" after each other. When the spirit of lust leaves, people then start to realize that they don't have anything in common with the other individual. That is why I feel people should at least date two years before they marry. That way people will know if it is lust or actually love. Two years is a long enough time to see all sides of an individual. You also mentioned that a woman should seek after a man who has a servant's heart. It is funny that you mentioned that, because I dated a guy who was selfish and not a giver (or you could say cheap!) Two bad combinations! I didn't talk to him no longer than a couple of weeks. That really irritated me. Yeah, I would run for the hills if I sensed that a guy was selfish and cheap. Even Proverbs mentions not to eat the food of a cheap man because he is always thinking about the cost. LOL Anyway, a selfish person always takes and doesn't deposit anything back. You are right. I wasn't happy with that guy who was selfish, and I know from now on to watch those signs in men.

LOL at the cheap joker you were talking about. I'll have to read that one in Proverbs. That's hilarious but true.

I agree with what you said about the lust thing. To me, lust is like a fire. If you want to start a lasting fire, you're going to need some kindling, lighter fluid and firewood. If you have only the kindling and lighter fluid, which is like physical attraction and flat out sex, you'll be able to produce a big blaze of fire. The problem is, it may be warm and feel good temporarily, but the fire will go out in a matter of seconds or minutes. Just like it does when jokers start sleeping around.

I mentioned this in another thread. There's intensity and intimacy. People seem to get them confused. They're different. Intensity starts to fade away as the newness of the relationship wears off, but intimacy continues to grow more and more the longer you know a person. Like you said, intimacy is seeing what's truly on the inside of a person, which like you said, can only be discovered face to face over long periods of time.

To build a really good fire, you need some serious firewood to place on top of the kindling and lighter fluid. Do that, and it will burn for a long time. IMO, that's how a strong relationship should be. Long term.

Also, when you get a chance, check out Matthew 7:12. That's a good one.

Happy dating.

[smc112]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Also, when you get a chance, check out Matthew 7:12. That's a good one.

Happy dating.

Actually, the verse 11 was confirmation for me today. Thanks for the advice and Happy Dating to you also! Or are you married?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by smc112

Actually, the verse 11 was confirmation for me today. Thanks for the advice and Happy Dating to you also! Or are you married?

I'm glad it helped.

LOL
Nope, I'm not married.