LB's/Dating/Frat Hoes

[smc112]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

A lot of young jokers are concerned about when they are ready to date. Like you said, they're ready to date when they're ready to begin the process of choosing someone to marry or when they have convictions they will not compromise. When I date, I look for the spiritual disciplines and spiritual direction evident in the life of the woman I'm dating. I never rely on the "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married, I hope to" pointless statements. I look for the evidence "today" right now in the life of the woman I'm dating. The women that just want to date for the hell of it and not date for a long term, monogomous and serious relationship, I leave alone.

You are right about people beginning the process of choosing someone to marry, when they have convictions they will not compromise. In order for people to have convictions, they must first have a relationship with God. When you mentioned that people are sleeping around with various partners and not looking for a monogamous relationship, those people do not have any guidelines or standards to abide by. In other words, they have a sense of lawlessness. God is the one who sets guidelines for people to follow by. When you have a relationship with him, you have to answer to a higher authority and you aren't going to feel "comfortable" doing the same things you used to do. For one thing, if people aren't loyal to God or looking for a "serious" relationship with him, they aren't going to be loyal to anyone let alone a monogamous relationship. The root of the problem is that they don't have Jesus. Before people even think of dating or getting married, they need to develop a relationship with him. Without Jesus within a marriage, it is bound to fail.

That is why it is so important to be equally yoked with whomever you marry. I noticed you mentioned that you wouldn't even consider talking to a woman who makes statements like, "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married." You are right! That is your red flag that she might not be on the same spiritual level or that you might be unequally yoked. It is so important to be on the same spiritual level. You don't want to have a partner that's not on the same level of faith. When you believe God for something, you need someone there that has faith and not speaking doubt or unbelief. Also, you need a praying wife who knows how to stand in the gap and pray for her husband. When you become married, you become as one. So be very careful who you choose to become "as one" with! If you do meet a nice young lady that you feel might not be on the same page spiritually at first, you might want to wait for a year or two. Step back and let her develop a relationship with God, and then let God tell you when the right timing is to think of going further in your relationship. If you aren't willing to wait on someone to develop a relationship with God, then ask God to send you someone who is already saved and believing the same things you are. There are plenty of saved women on the planet, and God can direct you towards one! It is just an individual preference. Either wait on the individual you've had your eye on or just move on and find someone you are already equally yoked with. Also, don't wait too long. If you see that person's not making any progress toward God, you definitely need to move on! Another thing, don't ever be deceived. You can decipher when folks are serious about doing right and the ones who just tell you what you want to hear. A tree is known by the fruit it bears.

***Sorry for such the long reply, but you struck an interest when you started talking about marriage and folks doing right. LOL

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by smc112

You are right about people beginning the process of choosing someone to marry, when they have convictions they will not compromise. In order for people to have convictions, they must first have a relationship with God. When you mentioned that people are sleeping around with various partners and not looking for a monogamous relationship, those people do not have any guidelines or standards to abide by. In other words, they have a sense of lawlessness. God is the one who sets guidelines for people to follow by. When you have a relationship with him, you have to answer to a higher authority and you aren't going to feel "comfortable" doing the same things you used to do. For one thing, if people aren't loyal to God or looking for a "serious" relationship with him, they aren't going to be loyal to anyone let alone a monogamous relationship. The root of the problem is that they don't have Jesus. Before people even think of dating or getting married, they need to develop a relationship with him. Without Jesus within a marriage, it is bound to fail.

That is why it is so important to be equally yoked with whomever you marry. I noticed you mentioned that you wouldn't even consider talking to a woman who makes statements like, "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married." You are right! That is your red flag that she might not be on the same spiritual level or that you might be unequally yoked. It is so important to be on the same spiritual level. You don't want to have a partner that's not on the same level of faith. When you believe God for something, you need someone there that has faith and not speaking doubt or unbelief. Also, you need a praying wife who knows how to stand in the gap and pray for her husband. When you become married, you become as one. So be very careful who you choose to become "as one" with! If you do meet a nice young lady that you feel might not be on the same page spiritually at first, you might want to wait for a year or two. Step back and let her develop a relationship with God, and then let God tell you when the right timing is to think of going further in your relationship. If you aren't willing to wait on someone to develop a relationship with God, then ask God to send you someone who is already saved and believing the same things you are. There are plenty of saved women on the planet, and God can direct you towards one! It is just an individual preference. Either wait on the individual you've had your eye on or just move on and find someone you are already equally yoked with. Also, don't wait too long. If you see that person's not making any progress toward God, you definitely need to move on! Another thing, don't ever be deceived. You can decipher when folks are serious about doing right and the ones who just tell you what you want to hear. A tree is known by the fruit it bears.

***Sorry for such the long reply, but you struck an interest when you started talking about marriage and folks doing right. LOL

Nope not long at all. This all makes sense and I couldn't have said it better myself. God comes 1st in everything always.

I want to just add a few things. IMO, I think those who are faithfully committed, regard their relationship as their most priceless possession, kind of like a genuine treasure. At least that's the way it is for me. Solomon's wife said "If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised". I found that in Song 8:7. Basically, that's just saying, no amount of money could purchase the love you feel for your spouse or be worth destroying your marriage or relationship. I think this is an important concept to consider when it comes to the work each partner chooses to do. I don't think any job or career is worth losing a spouse over regardless of what jokers say.

I've also seen couples who seem to go their separate ways even though they're still together. Basically he does his thing, she does her thing, and the two of them rarely do the same thing. To me that's not faithful commitment. To me, a great relationship calls a person to a oneness of identity with another person. The bible teaches that Husbands are to love their "own" wives just as Christ also loved the church." "Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies". To me, this type of love is very personal, and I believe it requires a certain loss of self to take another person so completely into your life that you make the other joker's concerns equal to your own. To me, that's faithful commitment. In a relationship, I wouldn't see it any other way. Let me stop before I keep going, because I'll end up typing all night long. LOL

A relationship between a man and a woman is meant to be shared by two people, and no more than two people.