Elope?

[SydneyK]

I think nittanyalum said it best: This is YOUR day. Your mom got her day (I'm assuming here), why can't she let you have yours? If she didn't get to plan her own wedding because her mom kept taking over, then she should know how you feel. If she got to plan her own, then she should understand your desire to plan your own as well.

This sounds so sad. It's impossible, of course, for any of us to give you real advice, but it never hurts to keep your options open. Do what's best for you and your fiance.

[KSUViolet06]

Man, with those restrictions, I'd be glad to elope. 30 out of 150 guests is not fair to you, and DC weddings are expensive, you're bound to go over budget.

Of course you have to do what's best for you, but let me say that "eloping" doesn't need to be secretive and unfun.

If I were going to elope, I'd love to have one of these Sandals weddings. It's a wedding and vacation for your guests.

http://www.sandals.com/general/wedding.cfm

[VAgirl18]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I think nittanyalum said it best: This is YOUR day. Your mom got her day (I'm assuming here), why can't she let you have yours? If she didn't get to plan her own wedding because her mom kept taking over, then she should know how you feel. If she got to plan her own, then she should understand your desire to plan your own as well.

This sounds so sad. It's impossible, of course, for any of us to give you real advice, but it never hurts to keep your options open. Do what's best for you and your fiance.

Apparently my dad planned most of the day and she just dealt with getting her dress, hair, and make up. My paternal grandmother and godmother were also involved. Yes, I do think she's partially living vicariously through me. I just feel like I need to make this decision fairly quickly because I don't want the heft deposit going to waste.

To top it all off, we're having to pay for some of his relatives to fly out because of their financial situation since my parents didn't want to have it where we did (which was neutral territory for all.)

[KSUViolet06]

Wedding planning should not make you stressed to the point of waking up sweating and sick. If you feel this way now, the more you go with you mom's plans, the worse you'll feel. You won't be excited about the day because it won't be something you wanted.

Also, if she's doing this now, think of AFTER you're married. She'll want to tell you how to raise your kids, how to clean your house, etc.

I say put the ball back in your court and elope.

[VAgirl18]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Wedding planning should not make you stressed to the point of waking up sweating and sick. If you feel this way now, the more you go with you mom's plans, the worse you'll feel. You won't be excited about the day because it won't be something you wanted.

Also, if she's doing this now, think of AFTER you're married. She'll want to tell you how to raise your kids, how to clean your house, etc.

I say put the ball back in your court and elope.

She's just going to try and run my whole life forever, isn't she? Everyone still teases me because I pay my own bills and live 3,000 miles away, and my parents still try and control everything.

Maybe a weddingmoon is a good idea.