Elope?

nittanyalum · #1 06-02-2008, 01:51 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that, I think there's nothing worse than when someone's wedding/wedding day gets taken over and taken away from them.

Eloping is definitely an option, but if it's still important to you to have your friends around, why not just plan something small that you and your fiance want and can afford (it sounds like you will end up shelling out money in your parents scenario anyway) and do it just the way YOU want to do it? If 120 of your wedding guests are friends of your parents anyway, then why do you care if they're at your wedding?

You can go have a party at a friends house or hotel and get married there, or find a cute chapel and have a destination wedding you invite your closest friends to, or elope on a cruise and come back and throw a huge party with all of your friends and family. If your parents basically want a big fancy party for their friends, they can always throw a formal reception, then she can plan it down to the last detail and you and your husband can fly back for it, no stress involved (or at least, much less

).

Regardless of what you decide, just make sure it's what YOU want for YOUR wedding day.

VAgirl18 · #2 06-02-2008, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

I'm so sorry to hear that, I think there's nothing worse than when someone's wedding/wedding day gets taken over and taken away from them.

Eloping is definitely an option, but if it's still important to you to have your friends around, why not just plan something small that you and your fiance want and can afford (it sounds like you will end up shelling out money in your parents scenario anyway) and do it just the way YOU want to do it? If 120 of your wedding guests are friends of your parents anyway, then why do you care if they're at your wedding?

You can go have a party at a friends house or hotel and get married there, or find a cute chapel and have a destination wedding you invite your closest friends to, or elope on a cruise and come back and throw a huge party with all of your friends and family. If your parents basically want a big fancy party for their friends, they can always throw a formal reception, then she can plan it down to the last detail and you and your husband can fly back for it, no stress involved (or at least, much less

).

Regardless of what you decide, just make sure it's what YOU want for YOUR wedding day.

I think that one thing keeping me from throwing our own wedding is I know that my parents would not show up. It won't be one of those things where they say that and turn up that day either. Granted, if they're acting this way, do I really want them there? And I know that if I eloped, my parents would be too embarrassed to throw a party afterwards.

nittanyalum · #3 06-02-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VAgirl18

I think that one thing keeping me from throwing our own wedding is I know that my parents would not show up.

God, that sucks. I'm so sorry.

33girl · #4 06-02-2008, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VAgirl18

I think that one thing keeping me from throwing our own wedding is I know that my parents would not show up. It won't be one of those things where they say that and turn up that day either.

This EXACT situation happened to my big big. The planning got way out of hand so they eloped and had a ceremony renewing their vows and the reception a year later. Her dad STILL didn't show up, but I think eventually they got over it.

If you want, I will totally call the site and say I'm your mom and cancel it for you.

VAgirl18 · #5 06-02-2008, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

This EXACT situation happened to my big big. The planning got way out of hand so they eloped and had a ceremony renewing their vows and the reception a year later. Her dad STILL didn't show up, but I think eventually they got over it.

If you want, I will totally call the site and say I'm your mom and cancel it for you.

Hahaha. Now only if the money would go directly on my credit card and not back on her's. Find a way for that to happen and I'll give you a 30% cut.

KSUViolet06 · #6 06-02-2008, 02:48 PM

It also seems like the only reason you want to go with mom's plan is because you're scared she won't show up.

This is going to sound cliche, but you're her daughter and she loves you. She'll come around if you choose to elope. I don't see her never wanting to be in your lives at all because of ONE DAY.

VAgirl18 · #7 06-02-2008, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It also seems like the only reason you want to go with mom's plan is because you're scared she won't show up.

This is going to sound cliche, but you're her daughter and she loves you. She'll come around if you choose to elope. I don't see her never wanting to be in your lives at all because of ONE DAY.

Well, I don't think his parents would show up either...but that's more because of financial reasons. I think if we just made it about us and ran off on our own and nobody came...then it might be a compromise.

KSUViolet06 · #8 06-02-2008, 02:59 PM

At the end of the day, it's all about what you two will feel comfortable with.

In 20 years, do you want to remember your wedding as "we did a small destination wedding in ________ for a few close friends and family/by ourselves."

Or

"We had our wedding at this place in DC where my mom wanted to have it, and spent a ton of money."

It's almost a better financial choice to elope as well. You can spend the extra money on a downpayment for a house or other investment in your future.