New question re: transferring schools

[HDL66]

My daughter will be transferring to a different university to enter a rigorous professional degree program. She has been very involved in her sorority and it has taken a good deal of time. Although she loves it, she is deciding not to pursue affiliation at the new school because she is concerned she will not have enough time to devote to the house as an active.

This is my question: has anyone transferred schools and had any kind of meaningful relationship with their sorority at the new school without affiliating? If so, how did it come about and what did it consist of? Or, is it pretty much "all or nothing?"

On a related note, if you saw someone (collegiate age) on your campus wearing your letters and they weren't a member of your local organization, would you approach them and want to get to know them? Just curious.

Thanks!

[ForeverRoses]

Hmm. I think it would be hard for someone to have a relationship with a chapter without any real connection to it. I could see becoming friends with some of the member via classes, study groups, etc.
If she wants some sort of connection, maybe her current president could send a letter of introduction to the new campus' chapter president that just introduces her so that they would know who she was if they saw her walking around in letters.

[Buttonz]

I didn't affiliate with the SDT chapter at my current school (for reasons of my own one of them being they are totally different from my chapter) and I walk around in letters all the time. I have yet to be stopped or asked about them, including when I'm sitting in class with my sisters

[AZ-AlphaXi]

She could also pursue joining the local alumnae association ... much less time commitment but still offers support and sisterhood, not to mention the chance to network with local alumnae.

[33girl]

How big is the school and the chapters? I think if the school and Greek system are smaller, she's more likely to meet sisters. I know if my chapter would have met a sister in your daughter's situation, we most likely would have said "hi! Where were you an ASA?" and asked her to hang out with us at parties or such, but not any official events.

If it's a bigger school though, it might be less likely that she'll get to know any of them. However, there's a possibility that if the chapter is bigger it might be easier for her to be active...if she was in a chapter of 30 and had to hold multiple offices, she could go to a chapter of 120 and be "just" a member without having so many responsibilities.

And the last option is, it could have nothing to do with size and it could turn out that she and the chapter at her new school just have absolutely nothing in common and no desire to be in each other's company. Sometimes chapters can be funny too....they think if they didn't put those letters on your back, you shouldn't be wearing them around at all.

She can always contact sisters she finds on myspace or facebook and explain her situation. Good luck to her!

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sometimes chapters can be funny too....they think if they didn't put those letters on your back, you shouldn't be wearing them around at all.

No comment.

[TrojanWoman]

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

No comment.

That's a first

[HDL66]

Thanks for your experiences and ideas.

Originally Posted by Buttonz

I I walk around in letters all the time. I have yet to be stopped or asked about them, including when I'm sitting in class with my sisters

I must say, Buttonz, this just made me sad! Even if a sister were from a chapter that was totally different from my own, I can't imagine ignoring her if she were sitting in the same class with me! If that's reality, though, I appreciate you sharing what it is really like!

Originally Posted by 33girl

How big is the school and the chapters? I think if the school and Greek system are smaller, she's more likely to meet sisters. I know if my chapter would have met a sister in your daughter's situation, we most likely would have said "hi! Where were you an ASA?" and asked her to hang out with us at parties or such, but not any official events.

If it's a bigger school though, it might be less likely that she'll get to know any of them. However, there's a possibility that if the chapter is bigger it might be easier for her to be active...if she was in a chapter of 30 and had to hold multiple offices, she could go to a chapter of 120 and be "just" a member without having so many responsibilities.

And the last option is, it could have nothing to do with size and it could turn out that she and the chapter at her new school just have absolutely nothing in common and no desire to be in each other's company. Sometimes chapters can be funny too....they think if they didn't put those letters on your back, you shouldn't be wearing them around at all.

She can always contact sisters she finds on myspace or facebook and explain her situation. Good luck to her!

Both my daughter's current and future schools have 20,000+ students, competitive recruitments and large (120+) chapters. I think she has probably made the best decision for herself (less stress if she needs more time to devote to school) and for the chapter (not taking up a bed that could be filled by someone who has more time and energy to be involved.) She will be mostly "sequestered" in one building on campus for the next few years, and not really be part of the general student population. She probably won't meet any sisters unless they happen to be part of her academic program.

When I was in school, one of my pledge sisters was admitted to vet school as a junior. She barely had time to eat and sleep at the house, much less contribute in other ways! Since she had been involved in the chapter as a freshman and sophmore, it was much easier for her to feel a part of the house than it would have been if she had affiliated as she started vet school. We were probably also more "forgiving" of her academic time commitments as well.

[breathesgelatin]

I walk around in letters/sorority tshirts all the time and don't get asked about it. This is partially because UT is so big. And maybe I look like too much of a grad student, although I flatter myself that I could pass as an undergrad.

I don't think it's "sad". It doesn't bother me, actually, because I guess the girls figure I'm a transfer, a grad student, or an alum. I don't really see why you have to awkwardly approach everyone that wears your letters. Please. The few times I've worn Pi Phi shirts to TA in, I've met some of the undergrads in my lecture sections. That was sort of cool.

[KSUViolet06]

I understand that there are reasons why people choose not to affiliate with a new chapter at a new school, and it was never a big deal to me in undergrad if I met someone on campus who was a Sigma but didn't affiliate with us.

If we saw a girl in our letters, of course we would say hello to her be friendly (what most people do when they meet other sisters) and maybe invite her to come over and see the house and have lunch. If they were interested in getting involved further, then great, but we never pressured girls to affiliate because we never knew why it was that they chose not to.

In undergrad, there was a sister who came here for the architecture program from a smaller school. We saw her carrying her bag in one of the cafeterias. We went up and introduced ourselves and was really happy to talk. She told us that she loved Sigma but didn't want to affiliate because she couldn't afford dues and as a junior architecture major she had little time and didn't want to commit to it and then not be around (because once you affiliate you are responsible for participating). We still invited her to come tour the house and come to our philanthropy event. We understood that she didn't want to affiliate, but we still wanted to give her a chance to meet us.

[texas*princess]

When I transferred schools, I was already an iniated member of a business co-ed fraternity. I knew several of the members (from leadership conferences and things like that) but I chose not to affiliated with the chapter for several reasons.

They didn't treat me any differently than they did the active chapter members there (i.e. I wasn't "shunned" or anything) but I didn't have a real connection with the chapter.

If feeling connected is what your daughter seeks, I would follow the advice of those who said to get involved with an alum group nearby b/c the amount of time is not nearly that compared to an active collegiate chapter.

I don't know in what capacity your daughter is hoping to feel 'connected'... if you are referring to attending a random mixer or event, depending on the organization, I would think that it wouldn't be possible - because she wouldn't be paying dues which cover event costs & liability insurance.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I don't know in what capacity your daughter is hoping to feel 'connected'... if you are referring to attending a random mixer or event, depending on the organization, I would think that it wouldn't be possible - because she wouldn't be paying dues which cover event costs & liability insurance.

Very true. I know that in Tri Sigma, transfers must affiliate if they want to attend any official chapter events, because they haven't paid dues to our chapter. I would imagine that there are other sororities that have the same policy.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

If she wants some sort of connection, maybe her current president could send a letter of introduction to the new campus' chapter president that just introduces her so that they would know who she was if they saw her walking around in letters.

i think this is a lovely idea.

ksuviolet06-i love the way your chapter approached sisters that had transferred to ksu-that is what sisterhood is all about!

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by breathesgelatin

I walk around in letters/sorority tshirts all the time and don't get asked about it. This is partially because UT is so big.

I would imagine that there are a lot of transfer Greeks at UT (based on LoveinZTA's experience), so it's not like someone wearing letters and not recognized by the Greeks at UT would really stick out.

Originally Posted by HDL66

She will be mostly "sequestered" in one building on campus for the next few years, and not really be part of the general student population. She probably won't meet any sisters unless they happen to be part of her academic program.

Architecture?