Mental Health and Taboo topics in OUR community

[darling1]

you are definitely a blessing to me and to those that you see and dont 'see'. walk in your faith and know you arent alone.

Originally Posted by nikki1920

I was officially diagnosed with Clinical Depression in September of last year.
I didnt tell ANYONE until several co-workers confronted me about the change in my appearance. When I finally confessed that I wasn't myself, one of them broke down and told me her story. I could see myself in her story. I also shared my struggles with a Soror and darn it if she wasn't going through the same exact thing, at the same time. We agreed to not keep it quiet anymore. I've been blessed to have several people on this site serve as sounding boards or encouragers or a cyber shoulder to cyber cry on.

Funny aside: I was telling my therapist about this (a white male) and he said, "I thought Black women talked about everything." I told him, "We do. Just not about mental issues." And that is a truly sad statement. The more people I talk to, the more I find have or are dealing with the same issue. And true, you don't have to tell everyone ALL your business, but someone you know may have the key to help you get through it and sometimes it helps to know that you really AREN'T the only person who is going through something.

[AKA_Monet]

{{{{{{{{{hugs for Nikki1920}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{hugs for Soror Ideal08}}}}}}}}}}}}

Well, I have gotten teased here for being vocal about what happens to me more on a constant basis than before. I am encountering drug failure - when the meds fail to work like prescribed. That happens with a few people. Guess I am one of them.

When I was 14, my mom and I had "yelling contests". See who can yell the loudest. I was wound up, ready to crack, gung ho about something I wanted to, run around in the cold and rain with shorts and T-shirt. I'd do my homework and it was "gobbly gook". Kids I thought were my friends, really weren't. They did drugs, and yes, it was easy to experiment...

Then, one day, I just felt tired of the yelling and the fighting and the arguing and the bitterness and the crying and the accusing and the hatred and the ignorance and the inability to express how I felt and what what going on that I came to the conclusion that if I just did not wake up in the morning, everyone would be better off...

So, my freshman year in college, I took 60 pills with the intent to not wake up...

God had other plans for me...

It took close to 10 years to get a correct diagnosis. Bipolar II: hypomania. Runs in my family, most people substance abuse. Most people are manic that deeply depressed.

If anything, I can maneuver the "system". I know how to get where I need to go and how to get there when it comes to my health.

Now, I do feel that the waters were muddy when I was younger, but I've learned to wade. It is not perfect and I would be lying if I did not think about the "bad tapes" that get played. I hate being seen as less than sincere by others - that personal foible I have... I mean, why should I care? However, that is how I am.

However, I would not wish this on my worst enemy... This issue, does not dictate my character as a person. I have to tell myself this to K.I.M. and LIVE!!!