Wedding gifts

[UofISigKap]

Originally Posted by GMUBunny

Mr. Bunny and I are hoping to get the essentials more than anything else. Yeah, that quesadilla maker may be pretty cool, but we need sheets, towels, and something to iron with.

Looking through the pages and pages of registry items for the bazillion weddings I have this year, I had no idea what to buy. So, the above quote may have answered my question - basic items are best.

So now I have another question: Out of those items, what would people say is the number one item they want? Is it the towels, kitchen items?? (I don't want to go the gift card route since I like to buy presents. )

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by UofISigKap

So now I have another question: Out of those items, what would people say is the number one item they want? Is it the towels, kitchen items?? (I don't want to go the gift card route since I like to buy presents. )

For the weddings I'm in, the brides seem to really be hoping to get some of their china or crystal items.

[Buttonz]

As a boke college student, I can't spend much.

For wedding #1 I went to this summer, I gave them $36 (I couldn't afford more and wasn't planning on going, in the Jewish religion,multiples of $18 are always good). I'm friendly with both of them but not super close.

Had a sister get married and I (along with most of my sisters) couldn't go because I couldn't afford to go to Israel. I spent $50 on the gift, mainly a few of the smaller items from her registry, and about $30 on a shower gift.

For my sister' wedding, she got a ton of stuff off of her registry from my mom and grandmother's friends and cash from almost everyone else. Although my grandmother's friends some of them gave some really nice checks (up to $5,000!). My 4 friends that were invited, two went in together for a gift from the registry for about $75, 1 gave $36 and one gave nothing, using the excuse that there were to many weddings he had to attend that summer. No reason why he couldn't give $36 at all, seeing as how he spends more then that on a night out!

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by UofISigKap

So now I have another question: Out of those items, what would people say is the number one item they want? Is it the towels, kitchen items?? (I don't want to go the gift card route since I like to buy presents. )

If you know the bride well, or if you have a friend that is REALLY good friends with the bride, have them ask the bride. The bride might have preferences that they are willing to share. For example my sister registered for a bunch of stuff, but she REALLY wanted a certain set of dishes- so I made sure to buy her a couple of place settings of that (they were her mid-range dishes, not china, but not really casual either).

If you don't want to ask, then if they are just starting out, they probably need the basic stuff If they have been on their own for a while they might have the basics and really want that egg poacher!

[ComradesTrue]

Bumping this thread because a wedding invitation arrived yesterday that perplexed me.

On the invitation (which was very, very elaborate and expensive) was the phrase "No boxed gifts please."

What does that mean? Is it a slick way of only asking for cash? Or, would they prefer that I take the blender out of the box and put a bow on it for display???

I know in some parts of the country that cash is the typical (dare I say expected?) gift, but that is not the case where this wedding is. The couple are from, and getting married in, my homestate, where probably 90%+ of gifts come from a registry. The very few people who give cash are usually friends of the parents. I have never given cash, as I suppose in the same way some people are uncomfortable with registries, I am uncomfortable with cash.

Also, FWIW, let's just say that this couple is not strapped for money. At all. They are in their 30s and have very successful careers. This makes me even more uncomfortable with giving cash as a gift.

Since I will be 36 weeks pregnant at the time of the wedding, I am not able to attend as I won't be allowed to fly. My husband has not decided if he will attend. The bride is a friend of his (former classmate), but he feels bad for leaving me so pregnant with a toddler running around as well.

Anyone else ever heard of "no boxed gifts?"

Thoughts? Interpretations? Suggestions?

[FirstAndFinest]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Bumping this thread because a wedding invitation arrived yesterday that perplexed me.

On the invitation (which was very, very elaborate and expensive) was the phrase "No boxed gifts please."

What does that mean? Is it a slick way of only asking for cash?

It appears that yes, that is the way of asking for cash-only gifts. How incredibly tacky to put that on (or in) the invitation!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...0boxed%20gifts
Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.

[FirstAndFinest]

Originally Posted by FirstAndFinest

It appears that yes, that is the way of asking for cash-only gifts. How incredibly tacky to put that on (or in) the invitation!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...0boxed%20gifts
Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.

Edited to remove the reference to the particular culture mentioned in that link. I don't think this lack of manners is limited to any culture!

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by FirstAndFinest

It appears that yes, that is the way of asking for cash-only gifts. How incredibly tacky to put that on (or in) the invitation!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...0boxed%20gifts
Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.

Oh, this is all so disappointing.

While I do not know the groom, nor the bride's family, I have known the bride for 8 years and have always found her to be a delight. She has always been the epitome of giving and not of selfishness. I would never in a million years have expected this type of tackiness from her.

My husband and I have long joked that when she got married we were going, even if it were in Timbuktu. She was so kind to us when we got married and when we had our first child. In addition, she is of a very different culture than us, one which throws very elaborate and fun weddings... the likes of which are not seen in any traditional American wedding. I have only been to one, and my husband none. So we were looking foward to the hoopla!

Sigh. I will try not to let this one transgression in etiquette (though a HUGE one) taint my overall impression of her.

[Thetagirl218]

So one of my sorority sister is getting married in a few weeks! I have no clue what to get her! I am trying to spend under $50, if possible!

I am totally new to this! Any suggestions?

[ComradesTrue]

Does she have a registry? If you don't know, you have a few options:

--ask her
--ask a member of the bridal party

For most well-mannered brides, especially ones that would have many friends who are recent college graduates like yourself, and thus not yet "rolling-in-the-dough," there should be ample choices in that price range on a registry.

Examples:
-- a setting of her everyday dishes
-- a small appliance
-- a setting of her flatware
-- towels (**)

If you want something more fun and less practical (though, seriously, young brides need practical stuff, they really do!!!)
-- pieces to her bar ware
-- fun serving platters
-- household decorations

** I had one friend who did not get a single towel for her wedding. This is now her standard gift. Do not worry about getting stuff that may seem "boring." Knowing that your Theta chapter has not been around too long, I presume the bride is young. Trust me, she will need towels too!

If there is no registry, you may just have to ask around as to what she might like. You could always consider a gift card to a place like Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Gifts to be cautious of, if you go off-registry: vases and picture frames. Some brides get so many of these that they can't possibly use them all.

In some parts of the county cash is the standard gift, but I don't think that is the case in Florida. At least for both my extended family (Jacksonville) and my husband's parents' friends (panhandle) we received very nice gifts from our registry.

Hope this helps! Get ready... this won't be the last time!

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Bumping this thread because a wedding invitation arrived yesterday that perplexed me.

On the invitation (which was very, very elaborate and expensive) was the phrase "No boxed gifts please."

What does that mean? Is it a slick way of only asking for cash?

That means the couple is super tacky and has no class. Asking for any sort of gift is a big no-no. Perhaps a book on etiquette or manners would be appropriate. In your case however, I would recommend a lovely card that says "Congratulations, sorry we can't make the wedding" ... and your husband should feel bad about leaving you prego with a toddler. I'd kill mine if he did that.

ETA: Even the husband said that asking for cash is super classless....and he wouldn't suggest that your husband leave unless he wants to hear about it forever.