Feigning Interest in PMs

violetpretty · #1 12-09-2007, 01:11 PM

I'm not too sure where the feigning of interest is coming into play, except maybe the "more diplomatic" fraternities saying they have limited space even when that may not be true. This applies to both fraternities and sororities: it's bad PR to have PNMs leave your recruitment party with a bad taste in their mouths, regardless of whether you or your chapter is interested in them. The chapter could be really interested in the friend of a particular PNM, so you don't want anyone to have a negative experience. Just because a group of PNMs come through recruitment doesn't mean they will all get bids. They are separated so members can get to know them as individuals.

Like skylark said, one member may really click with a PNM, but the PNM isn't offered a bid because one member's opinion isn't always representative of the whole chapter. There was one chapter where I clicked with some individuals, but I was not invited to preference. It was tough to swallow, but it was for the best, because I wouldn't have fit in there. Conversely, I have had some great conversations with PNMs on the member side of recruitment, but they don't necessarily fit into the chapter just because I had a great conversation with them. So while it can be heartbreaking to a PNM that they had a great conversation with a member and end up without a bid or an invite, it's not necessarily that the host was feigning interest; there could have been a connection on an individual level, but not a chapter level.

kathykd2005 · #2 12-09-2007, 01:40 PM

Logically, if a group only has a limited number of spaces, not everyone can be extended a bid to any organization. That is just common sense. The group may like the entire group, but it is not physically possible for all of the men to be accepted, due to those constraints. Even if they are the nicest, most diplomatic group, all organizations have voting processes, and all of them have their own decisions to make on a personal level. That doesn't mean that many of the men in that group didn't like the potentional member--it just means that maybe one of the members did not get to know the pm enough to want to extend him an offer to become a brother. I don't think being nice to people to get to know them is "feigning interest" at all.

ThetaPrincess24 · #3 12-09-2007, 02:16 PM

Also too fraternities, like sororities, have national and chapter requirements that a PNM must meet in order to extend someone a bid. For example, I've talked to PNm's with outstanding personalities but their grades were in the toilet and as much as we liked them as people we just were not able to extend them a bid because of the grade risk. So its important to keep these things in mind as well.