Gifts that hurt your feelings - Page 3

AKA_Monet · #31 12-02-2007, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I disagree. What's wrong with a romantic dinner from her favorite place to dine, and a gift card from her favorite place to shop? That way she can pick out whatever she wants. Sounds pretty simple to me.

Gift cards are so impersonal... I want to know if you struggled and put some effort to find a gift for me, even though it may just be a card with a love note in it.

If you purchase my gift at the last minute, what does that say about how you'd treat me? Like the last minute? Or an after-thought?

At least with a card, where you write XXXOOOXXX and it has some cute figures and says "Happy _______________", Love _______________ then that gives me reason to at least feel "secure" in OUR relationship...

PrettyBoy · #32 12-02-2007, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Gift cards are so impersonal... I want to know if you struggled and put some effort to find a gift for me, even though it may just be a card with a love note in it.

If you purchase my gift at the last minute, what does that say about how you'd treat me? Like the last minute? Or an after-thought?

At least with a card, where you write XXXOOOXXX and it has some cute figures and says "Happy _______________", Love _______________ then that gives me reason to at least feel "secure" in OUR relationship...

I'd rather get my girl a nice gift card that she can spend on whatever she desires rather than a $5.00 sweatshirt "the day of".

Something like a trip to the spa, or a nice massage. A gift where she can be pampered. I think she should be pampered on her anniversary, and it should be an all day thing for her. Those are some of the things I would do, but everyone is different.

AKA_Monet · #33 12-02-2007, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I'd rather get my girl a nice gift card that she can spend on whatever she desires than a $5.00 sweatshirt the day of.

Well, if all the guy can afford is a $5 sweatshirt, that's one thing. After a year of dating, he should have done better. I still find "gift cards" to stores from my "S/O" impersonal. That is my opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Something like a trip to the spa, or a nice massage. A gift where she can be pampered. I think she should be pampered on her anniversary, and it should be an all day thing for her. Those are some of the things I would do, but everyone is different.

If you were to do something like that, you kinna have to set up a "DATE" with her for the entire day. I would suggest you go out of town to like 50-100 miles out to a "resort". More "gaming casino's" are incorporating spa services, too. If there is a "snow resort" that is not too far, then go there. It would be a place you'd drive to, now. I would not do it in the same city because folks have their own people they like to use for those services. Then, I would not just "hand her" the certificate for the services, because what the spas do is rip folks off and that's not just for waxings...

For services, I would get a menu of items. The most basic is the 30 minute to 45 minute swedish massage, with a basic facial and a pedicure--not manicure, because many women have arcylic nails--but I remember you date an "natural" type of girl...

I only say this is because my husband got me spa services and they tried to jack me until my husband called them and told them to stick it. And the place he sent me was rather ritzy...

PrettyBoy · #34 12-02-2007, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Well, if all the guy can afford is a $5 sweatshirt, that's one thing. After a year of dating, he should have done better. I still find "gift cards" to stores from my "S/O" impersonal. That is my opinion.

I was only teasing the OP with my earlier comments. I still have a headache from laughing so hard at Latina's comments and my own jokes.

I wouldn't just get a gift card only. I would plan the whole day for her. The gift card would be a part of it though. I wouldn't know what to get her as far as clothing is concerned, so the gift card would take care of that. Hey, I don't have a lot of money either, but I would plan it way in advance so she would be able to have a nice anniversary. It doesn't have to be expensive, just a day for her. That's all. Hell, I wouldn't want a sack chasing woman anyway. Like you said it's the thought behind it, not the price. Doing it the day of though? To me that's not cool. I even think a nice "horse & carriage" ride through downtown on a cold day (dress warm of course) so the two of you can snuggle would be really nice. Those are not expensive at all.

PrettyBoy · #35 12-02-2007, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

At least with a card, where you write XXXOOOXXX and it has some cute figures and says "Happy _______________", Love _______________ then that gives me reason to at least feel "secure" in OUR relationship...

That's because you're a rare good woman.

AKA_Monet · #36 12-02-2007, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

[B][I][COLOR=darkred]I wouldn't just get a gift card only. I would plan the whole day for her. The gift card would be a part of it though. I wouldn't know what to get her as far as clothing is concerned, so the gift card would take care of that. Hey, I don't have a lot of money either, but I would plan it way in advance so she would be able to have a nice anniversary. It doesn't have to be expensive, just a day for her. That's all. Hell, I wouldn't want a sack chasing woman anyway. Like you said it's the thought behind it, not the price. Doing it the day of though? To me that's not cool. I even think a nice "horse & carriage" ride through downtown on a cold day (dress warm of course) so the two of you can snuggle would be really nice. Those are not expensive at all.

The fact is she wants to spend time with you... Not to sound arrogant, but the gift of quality time is more important to me than a size 10XXX $5 sweatshirt.

For my husband's gifts, I connect with something I know he would enjoy--usually through his stomach... So, I cook him a large dinner. For Christmas, we have developed a running joke, I purchase superior cuts of "exotic meat" and I cook it for him. I want to see if he, as a veterinarian would eat it. More often than not, he does...

Let's just say some of these items tastes like chicken...

PrettyBoy · #37 12-02-2007, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

a size 10XXX $5 sweatshirt.

LMAO!

KSUViolet06 · #38 12-03-2007, 02:31 PM

Guys can be a a little gift-impaired.

That is why I always just TELL the guy a few things I would like for my birthday/Christmas/whatever. This way I don't end up with something I don't want AND he still gets to surprise me (since I gave him options).

TrojanWoman · #39 12-03-2007, 03:07 PM

I had an ex give me an extra large, men's, USC t-shirt for Christmas one year. I'm 5'3" and usually wear a size small, women's shirt. I understand that he was thinking that I love USC and was going to a bowl game, but still, extra large men's shirt???

My current guy and I still laugh at that story and he threatens to repeat the gift every time an occasion comes up

Glitter650 · #40 12-03-2007, 03:33 PM

This thread makes me think of the episode of Full House where Steve gets DJ a U of Miami sweatshirt and she cries and cries, anyone remember that one ?

SydneyK · #41 12-03-2007, 03:34 PM

When I was in college, I got a pot for Valentine's Day once. He said, "I love mac & cheese, and you don't have any pots here that I can fix it in. So, Happy Valentine's Day!" I had pots, they just weren't good enough for him. Silly college boys (this wasn't my now-hubby).

My husband is better with gifts now than he used to be. For our first Christmas after we were married, he got me tires and luggage. I looked at him and said, "Am I going somewhere?" He was just trying to be practical - I needed new tires, and I'd been carrying around the same luggage for years.

It's taken some time, but he's learned to give not-so-practical gifts... and I've also learned to appreciate the practical ones anyway.

nikki1920 · #42 12-03-2007, 03:49 PM

I appreciate a gift card if its a store that my s/o knows I frequent. It saves him the hassle of trying to find something that a. fits and b. he thinks I'd like. But then again, I don't like to be surprised, so I am usually very specific with what I want.

Again, it goes back to communication. Tell him or her what it is you want.

BabyPiNK_FL · #43 12-05-2007, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

When I was in college, I got a pot for Valentine's Day once. He said, "I love mac & cheese, and you don't have any pots here that I can fix it in. So, Happy Valentine's Day!" I had pots, they just weren't good enough for him. Silly college boys (this wasn't my now-hubby).

My husband is better with gifts now than he used to be. For our first Christmas after we were married, he got me tires and luggage. I looked at him and said, "Am I going somewhere?" He was just trying to be practical - I needed new tires, and I'd been carrying around the same luggage for years.

It's taken some time, but he's learned to give not-so-practical gifts... and I've also learned to appreciate the practical ones anyway.

My boyfriend is great and I shouldn't complain I guess, but every year he gets me a ring or some jewelry and then months later I can't even remember what it was exactly he bought me! I know what he bought me that I own, just not which gift went with which holiday! I tell him all the time, buy me practical things. I'm too poor to buy all of my favorite CDs, food most of the time, medications that I need, a new computer battery, etc. But he keeps giving me jewelry! Sometimes (secretly) I wish I could pawn it. But I really do love him and so I just try to convince him that maybe next time something I can't afford to buy myself but really need is more in order.

Animate · #44 12-05-2007, 03:31 PM

I'm sorry but guys are not as gift-impaired as some would like to think. Sure he may not get you that gift that you wanted but the fact that he got you something means he is trying, if it shows that he actually put in effort. I want you to try to find the "perfect gift" every Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's Day (I "hate" this "holiday" btw), Christmas, Day that ends in Y. Its not that we don't want to get you gifts at these times, its just that women put a lot of pressure on guys to get GREAT gifts. More pressure than you probably realize.

fantASTic · #45 12-05-2007, 11:29 PM

Hey hey..I never said it was $5! I don't know where you're getting that from. It was under $20, is what I believe the original post said.

I'm over it, now. He admitted he messed up on that one, and has been hinting that he's getting jewelry for Christmas...

I love him anyways