Military Spouses, Parents and Families

[Army Wife'79]

I'm sorry but this could be a potential train wreck. A POA should not be given to anyone other than a spouse, but then again I know more than a few soldiers who were wiped out by their wives who got tired of being alone, played around, cashed out all his accounts with the POA, bought fancy cars with the POA, and left him oweing everyone.
And I would never recommend him putting the loan in his name but you on the deed unless you two run off to Vegas and get married over Christmas. He should talk to the JAG about all this before he deploys to get some legal guidance. Seriously, you need to get a ring on your finger, even if it's only a quarter carat.

[LPIDelta]

If he is putting her on the deed, then she needs a POA to be able to take care of things while he is gone or in case (god forbid) something happens. He's not here getting advice, she is. If a change needs to be made on a utility account or loan payment or the bank isn't depositing things where it needs to go, she will have a much easier time addressing those issues with a POA than he will from Iraq.

Do I think its smart on his part that both are not on the loan? No. Do I think its smart to put someone on the deed that is not financially tied to the house--no. But if he trusts her enough to live in his house and expects her to pay for the mortgage while he is gone, then he should trust her enough to give her a POA, without a ring. She needs to protect her interests, too.

If he isn't comfortable giving a POA, then maybe they should break up and they shouldn't move in together.

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

so it seems wrong to say, honey, shell out some more for a ring while you're at it, ya know?
And BTW, he'll be gone for a whopping 15 months!

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

Seriously, you need to get a ring on your finger, even if it's only a quarter carat.

I'm probably going to say something that won't be very popular...

why MUST there be a ring to be engaged? In my own experience, I got engaged to my now-husband without a ring. He had no money for such frivolity, but I loved him and knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And I was sure in the fact that he loved and cherished me. If you say the words, "Will you marry me?" or "Will you spend the rest of your life with me?" or something to that effect, and the answer is yes, then why does there have to be a piece of jewelry?

A house together seems like a HUGE commitment! So, in my eyes, SthrnZeta, you're already "more than a girlfriend." Deployments are a long, hard road. While I know that I advocated for an engagement before he left for certain reasons having to do with making life dealing with the Army easier, it may be a time for you to really reflect. This surely won't be the only deployment your guy has if he stays in. This may be a good test for you to see if you can really handle a life with a soldier. It's not for the faint of heart.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by scbelle

why MUST there be a ring to be engaged?

I read as more of an expression... "To put a ring on her finger" means the same thing as "To get engaged", regardless of whether jewelry is actually involved.

Well, except for the specification of "even if it's only 1/4 karat".

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I read as more of an expression... "To put a ring on her finger" means the same thing as "To get engaged", regardless of whether jewelry is actually involved.

Well, except for the specification of "even if it's only 1/4 karat".

That's what got me. The 1/4 carat specs and the "shelling out more $" for a ring... the actual getting engaged doesn't cost bupkus.

[PiKA2001]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

I'm sorry but this could be a potential train wreck. A POA should not be given to anyone other than a spouse

I'm deploying to the middle east next week, and I need a POA before I leave. It's something I've avoided for years because I'm single but I finally chose my brother. I think it should be someone who you trust and will act in YOUR best interest, which isn't always your spouse .

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

I'm deploying to the middle east next week, and I need a POA before I leave. It's something I've avoided for years because I'm single but I finally chose my brother. I think it should be someone who you trust and will act in YOUR best interest, which isn't always your spouse .

That's very true. I've seen spouses cheat, try to clean the soldier out, and run. That behavior is definitely not in the best interest of the person giving POA.

But I don't think ArmyWife '79 meant that, exactly. We were talking of a girl who was not yet engaged (but is now!! ). A single soldier is another ball of wax.

I hope your deployment goes well. Stay low.

[LPIDelta]

Originally Posted by scbelle

But I don't think ArmyWife '79 meant that, exactly. We were talking of a girl who was not yet engaged (but is now!! ).

Ok--now I know I've been our of the loop for a few weeks. This is big news!!!! Best wishes are in order!

[LPIDelta]

Hey all--just wanted to share my excitement. I got a text message from my spouse this morning and he is on a plane and headed home! Its been 8 months since he has been home so the dogs and I are looking forward to his return.

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by LPIDelta

Hey all--just wanted to share my excitement. I got a text message from my spouse this morning and he is on a plane and headed home! Its been 8 months since he has been home so the dogs and I are looking forward to his return.

WOOOO HOOOO! Congrats to you on getting your spouse back! I'm so happy for you.

[catiebug]

Yea you!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by LPIDelta

Hey all--just wanted to share my excitement. I got a text message from my spouse this morning and he is on a plane and headed home! Its been 8 months since he has been home so the dogs and I are looking forward to his return.

[navane]

Originally Posted by LPIDelta

Hey all--just wanted to share my excitement. I got a text message from my spouse this morning and he is on a plane and headed home! Its been 8 months since he has been home so the dogs and I are looking forward to his return.

That's wonderful news! I wish you and him a very happy homecoming!

.....Kelly

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

I'm deploying to the middle east next week, and I need a POA before I leave. It's something I've avoided for years because I'm single but I finally chose my brother. I think it should be someone who you trust and will act in YOUR best interest, which isn't always your spouse .

Keep your head down, be careful and watch your and your peoples asses!

Be safe my Greek Brother!

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

I'm deploying to the middle east next week

Take care PiKA, and thanks for what you're doing.

[navane]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

I'm deploying to the middle east next week

Take care! We'll be thinking of you!

.....Kelly