I hate my boyfriend's fraternity

[Animate]

Originally Posted by gem_star17

Maybe it's because I am not part of a greek org and that is why I cannot understand the intense loyalty. I just know that i love my boyfriend and i really want to be with him forever. that's why i tried to put up with as much crap as i could; but I love myself, too and i really believe that i am deserving of being in a happy relationship. And i could never be happy coming 2nd to his fraternity.

At this point, I know that I won't even be happy being equal to his fraternity. i dont want to possibly spend the rest of my life "sharing" him with his brothers. I've never been married, but in the past he and i have discussed marriage. I kindve have this idea that, once we're married, we are suppossed to belong to each other. other people ( outside our biological families) should not even be a factor.


so, yes- I did tell him that I believe that he should love me more than his fraternity and if he isnt able to do that, then I dont want to be with him. i'm glad he made the "right" decision.

edit: now that i think about it, maybe this is why i am unpopular with his house. maybe this whole time they always suspected i secretly felt this way. but nope, i refuse to ever be friends with them, not after the hell they put me through. ESPECIALLY because they tried to take him away from me. the only one i am friendly with in the fraternity is his younger brother.

While I'm not putting your guy in the clear in this situation because he obviously needs to improve, asking him to basically choose between you and his fraternity is extremely selfish of you. This is something that is important to him, how would you feel if asked you to choose between him and something that was important to you? Yes, you all should be dedicated to each other if you are going to be in a relationship but expecting him to basically turn away from his fraternity when you want to be with him is unfair. Just because you may feel that you are a priority does not necessarily mean that you aren't. You admitted that you don't exactly understand things since you aren't Greek so at least you recognize that. I liken fraternities and sororites to smaller versions of a family. You don't like everything about them, you don't like everyone in them, but you love them anyway and there is a strong sense of loyalty and obligation at times. Would you like it if he didn't get along with some of your closest friends and then asked you to choose between him and them?

[gem_star17]

Originally Posted by Animate

While I'm not putting your guy in the clear in this situation because he obviously needs to improve, asking him to basically choose between you and his fraternity is extremely selfish of you. This is something that is important to him, how would you feel if asked you to choose between him and something that was important to you? Yes, you all should be dedicated to each other if you are going to be in a relationship but expecting him to basically turn away from his fraternity when you want to be with him is unfair. Just because you may feel that you are a priority does not necessarily mean that you aren't. You admitted that you don't exactly understand things since you aren't Greek so at least you recognize that. I liken fraternities and sororites to smaller versions of a family. You don't like everything about them, you don't like everyone in them, but you love them anyway and there is a strong sense of loyalty and obligation at times. Would you like it if he didn't get along with some of your closest friends and then asked you to choose between him and them?

However, you do have a point. it is important to him and thanks to you, i will try to be more understanding. i guess ill try to make an effort cause i feel bad that hes in the middle.