The 80/20 rule

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Still, though, I tend to view things like the 80/20 rule, at least when applied to something like personal relationships, as a silly waste of time.

But what do I know? It's all biz-babble to me, and I hate biz-babble. I hate anything Covey-cult related as well.

Originally Posted by Animate

Havent seen the movie yet but this sounds like something thats going to have more women evaluating an already good relationship to the point of paranoia. Its all incredibly stupid to me.

Yinz are my 2 new boyfriends.

And yes, I've had guys say their girl after me didn't measure up to me, that they were in love with me the whole time they were dating their girl before me, etc etc. That's because they were trying to get in my pants. It ain't rocket science, kids.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

If you break up with them, then you'll accept someone who has 20% of what you're looking for?

Yeah, I haven't seen the movie yet, although I imagine I will.

Not exactly acceptiing..some cases the person you date right afterwards can be like a 'rebound' person or something like that but in some cases, if something happens and you and that person aren't together anymore, they have set a bar to what you will accept out of the 'new beau"


Let me add a disclaimer here too....

PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THREAD SERIOUSLY YALL.....


When I saw the movie...me and my s.o. had a good laugh and talked about past relationships where things like this happened...

heck...to tell the truth...the last really great relationship I had before where I am now was way back in 1995.......so....from 1995 to 2003.


I met some good people but...no one I really saw as long term.



yeah....if I could have played Dr. Frankenstein and took some quality parts.....well....

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Ok...so most of us have seen 'Why Did I Get Married" and the one thing I have heard in some discussions post movie is about the 80/20 rule....

so...is there any truth to it?

I kinda see it like this:

Some of us have a 100% idea of what we want from someone.

We may mostly meet people who can give us 50% and we have to decide if we wanna work with that.

If we are blessed we find someone who has 80% of what we are looking for...we get with that and stay.

However....if something happens and we break up(especially if it's our <'our' being used to mean anyone!!>fault!)....the next person(s) that come along will only be worth 20% of what we had...because it's damn near hard to find someone right off the bat that will be close to what we just lost.

Agree or disagree?


Speaking for myself personally, I remember a relationship that I was in years back where I was getting my 80% and after it ended...I just went thru this drought and saying to myself...if I could take the intelligence from person A and the funniness from person B, the drive of person C and so on...and mix them all up....I would have my last gf....LOL


Is it possible to take a 20% and build them up to at least a 70%?

How in the world is someone supposed to answer that question? How can you possibly put people, their attributes and feelings, into numerical values? Any numerical assignment is completely abritrary, and in my opinion, pointless.

It's really an insane question.

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

MysticCat:

A lot of people are just learning of the 80/20 because of the new Tyler Perry movie.

That is really very sad.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by REE1993

How in the world is someone supposed to answer that question? How can you possibly put people, their attributes and feelings, into numerical values? Any numerical assignment is completely abritrary, and in my opinion, pointless.

It's really an insane question.



That is really very sad.

O sweet Jesus......

The percentages are arbitrary and relative to the emotional landmarks...not concrete numbers.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Is it possible to take a 20% and build them up to at least a 70%?

Nope. That's like trying to change a slut into a decent woman with morals who respects herself, or a low down player joker who only wants the nookie and not the woman into a decent man. He/she has to want to change, which 9 times out of 10 is not going to happen.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Nope. That's like trying to change a slut into a decent woman with morals who respects herself, or a low down player joker who only wants the nookie and not the woman into a decent man. He/she has to want to change, which 9 times out of 10 is not going to happen.

PB thank u...a straight answer.....lol

[REE1993]

What I refered to as "sad" was the point you made that people have just heard the 80/20 Rule because it was in some recent movie. I thought that anyone who attended college (and even people who studied economics, marketing, etc. in HS), or had a job, would be able to explain it.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by REE1993

What I refered to as "sad" was the point you made that people have just heard the 80/20 Rule because it was in some recent movie. I thought that anyone who attended college (and even people who studied economics, marketing, etc. in HS), or had a job, would be able to explain it.

I made that point.

And I don't see it as "sad" at all. Many people who attended college or have a job have no use for knowing about this rule. People who took certain classes, have certain types of jobs, or randomly happened upon the 80/20 rule would know about it. That doesn't mean it is a important enough for everyone to know about it.

I actually think it's a rather insignificant rule as it doesn't pertain to my professional and personal lives.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I hate anything Covey-cult related as well.

Gasp! MC has blasphemed!

I heart Franklin-Covey... maybe just 80%, but it's enough to buy it.

Back to your regularly scheduled thread.

[Marie]

DaemonSeid, I really don't know what you're talking about. You are trying to discuss the 80/20 rule as it was presented in the new Tyler Perry movie, but you are presenting it incorrectly.

The theory was this: In a marriage you are most likely only getting 80% of your needs met...then you meet someone outside the marriage who offers you that other 20%...20% looks pretty good when you aren't getting it, so you are persuaded to leave your 80% for the 20% that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE...however in the end you feel foolish and shortchanged b/c at the end of the day you are now only getting 20% of your needs met.

Its not the 'real 80/20 rule', but its the version presented in the movie with respect to relationships. They didn't at all discuss you breaking up with your 80% person and then moving on to find someone who is only 20% by default. I'm not sure from where that came.

[Marie]

Originally Posted by REE1993

What I refered to as "sad" was the point you made that people have just heard the 80/20 Rule because it was in some recent movie. I thought that anyone who attended college (and even people who studied economics, marketing, etc. in HS), or had a job, would be able to explain it.

Ree...he was discussing a completely different 'rendition' of the 80/20 rule...not the one that we are all most familiar with from corporate America.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Marie

DaemonSeid, I really don't know what you're talking about. You are trying to discuss the 80/20 rule as it was presented in the new Tyler Perry movie, but you are presenting it incorrectly.

The theory was this: In a marriage you are most likely only getting 80% of your needs met...then you meet someone outside the marriage who offers you that other 20%...20% looks pretty good when you aren't getting it, so you are persuaded to leave your 80% for the 20% that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE...however in the end you feel foolish and shortchanged b/c at the end of the day you are now only getting 20% of your needs met.

Its not the 'real 80/20 rule', but its the version presented in the movie with respect to relationships. They didn't at all discuss you breaking up with your 80% person and then moving on to find someone who is only 20% by default. I'm not sure from where that came.

Thanks for clearing that up.

I haven't seen this movie yet so I was getting confused between the original and revised "80/20 rules."

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Thanks for clearing that up.

I haven't seen this movie yet so I was getting confused between the original and revised "80/20 rules."

Same here.

[honeychile]

Wow. I mean, wow. Does anyone really think that what they're looking for in a mate at 20 is going to be the same when they're 25-30-35-40-50-60-years old? So, even if you find a person who's 99.9% of what you're looking for now, do you really think you're going to feel that way in another five years?

With the exception of having "Willing to grow in our relationship" or "Wants to grow old with me" as a main objective, I think you're really setting yourself for a fall, and should plan on a pre-nup.

MysticCat, as usual, should Mrs. MysticCat ever lose her mind & leave you, I'm very high on the list of your admirers!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Wow. I mean, wow. Does anyone really think that what they're looking for in a mate at 20 is going to be the same when they're 25-30-35-40-50-60-years old? So, even if you find a person who's 99.9% of what you're looking for now, do you really think you're going to feel that way in another five years?

With the exception of having "Willing to grow in our relationship" or "Wants to grow old with me" as a main objective, I think you're really setting yourself for a fall, and should plan on a pre-nup.

Maybe you were making a general statement but, if not, I don't know what post you're referencing.

I think the majority of the posters in this thread are well above the age of 20. And, yes, finding what we want at our age is often a pretty good indication of what we will want in our 40s, 50s, and 60s. If not, adjustments can and will be made. As adults, we know more about the "growing in our relationship" and "growing old together" thingie than we did when we were younger.