bigs/littles

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by cryingcarebear

so we're about 4 weeks into pledging now and the pledge master told me that I haven't been getting along with my little so he's going to give him another big halfway through his pledge process. can anyone else tell me how ridiculous this is?

instead of working out the problem, it has altogether been decided that it is better to alienate my relationship with a future brother rather than fixing it before his crossing. how could i be good enough to be his brother but not good enough to be his big. it just seems very absurd to me.

someone please tell me this is not normal in other fraternities and sororities.

I've never heard of it.

This is NOT the way rational adults solve issues. Running or changing rather than discussing is not leadership. I hope your GLO doesn't pride itself on its leadership training.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I've never heard of it.

This is NOT the way rational adults solve issues. Running or changing rather than discussing is not leadership. I hope your GLO doesn't pride itself on its leadership training.

Oh for crying out loud!

So his GLO must have shitty leadership training, then? Based on what? The actions of one pledgemaster? Isn't it kind of ridiculous to criticize an entire GLO's leadership training because of this one guy?

How ironic, considering, in the other thread, you didn't think that entire UF fraternity should be punished based on the actions of a few members.

[texas*princess]

I think it's hard to make a call on this situation given that we have not been presented with all of the information.

What exactly does "not get along" mean?

Does that mean you aren't doing your job as a big?

Did you get in a fight over something?

Do your personalities just plain clash?


My big & I never had the kind of relationship that I would have liked because we were both very different people and at different stages in our college life. I was a junior with 4.5 full semesters left to go, and I was at a point where I was focused on my grades and getting the big internship more than going out every other night... my "big" was actually younger than me... she was a sophomore who was still in the "let's go out every night" phase.

We didn't neccessarily clash, we just did different things. She is still a great person, and we talk from time to time after graduation... in my new member period she still helped me learn my stuff and we still hung out while I was still in college, but it wasn't that BFF kind of relationship that other people may experience. I did make that sort of "BFF" connection with other girls in my chapter though, so it's not like she was a bad big just because we were different.

It really depends on the situation.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I think it's hard to make a call on this situation given that we have not been presented with all of the information.
---

It really depends on the situation.

That's exactly what I'm thinking.

[cryingcarebear]

while i was not the best big in the world, i was far from being the worst this fraternity has seen. i even spoke with my (former) little tonight, and he told me he had no problems with me at all, besides the fact that we didn't hang out much, and hoped i wouldn't hate him for something he didn't choose for himself.

we had our weekly meeting tonight when the news was brought to the entire chapter. keep in mind the current pledge master is our president's little, who coincidentally, received another little this semester when many others were in need of their first. our vice president on council also lives with those two guys.

the whole situation was indeed absurd because most of my brothers were made uncomfortable at the meeting when they voiced their opinions, most of which were against their decision. the rationale behind their decision for the most part was that the pledgemaster has entire authority in this situation and had council's approval. That covers 5 members of our fraternity, but not the overwhelming majority of the other brothers.

this decision was the first of its kind in our chapter history. i truly believe that this decision was made so that the pledge master could make his mark on the fraternity before he graduated. almost no one was happy about it, and they were attacked on a personal level when they tried to make a point. a new council and chapter positions will be elected in a month, and most of the brothers just told me to wait it out. there's nothing else i can do at this point. i don't think it's worth bitching about at this point, but that doesn't make it right.

in this situation i believe it should have at least been brought to some chapter vote or something of that nature. i don't believe justice has been served, and i believe i have just been made an example of by the most irrational self-serving council in recent history.

put yourself in my shoes... what are you supposed to do or think at this point?

[Senusret I]

If I were the pledgemaster, I might have done the same thing.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

If I were the pledgemaster, I might have done the same thing.

Can you explain?

[AlethiaSi]

Originally Posted by cryingcarebear

while i was not the best big in the world, i was far from being the worst this fraternity has seen. i even spoke with my (former) little tonight, and he told me he had no problems with me at all, besides the fact that we didn't hang out much, and hoped i wouldn't hate him for something he didn't choose for himself.

we had our weekly meeting tonight when the news was brought to the entire chapter. keep in mind the current pledge master is our president's little, who coincidentally, received another little this semester when many others were in need of their first. our vice president on council also lives with those two guys.

the whole situation was indeed absurd because most of my brothers were made uncomfortable at the meeting when they voiced their opinions, most of which were against their decision. the rationale behind their decision for the most part was that the pledgemaster has entire authority in this situation and had council's approval. That covers 5 members of our fraternity, but not the overwhelming majority of the other brothers.

this decision was the first of its kind in our chapter history. i truly believe that this decision was made so that the pledge master could make his mark on the fraternity before he graduated. almost no one was happy about it, and they were attacked on a personal level when they tried to make a point. a new council and chapter positions will be elected in a month, and most of the brothers just told me to wait it out. there's nothing else i can do at this point. i don't think it's worth bitching about at this point, but that doesn't make it right.

in this situation i believe it should have at least been brought to some chapter vote or something of that nature. i don't believe justice has been served, and i believe i have just been made an example of by the most irrational self-serving council in recent history.

put yourself in my shoes... what are you supposed to do or think at this point?

For one, did he take another little while he was pledgemaster? that to me, is a serious conflict of interest. It wasn't allowed by our constitution, and seriously frowned upon. However, a few semesters ago (after I graduated and all of our eboard had left, and all new girls were in.. serious lack of planning... i know ) my grandlittle, as assistant pledgemistress, took a little. Technically, there wasn't anything against it in our constitution or bylaws. She went ahead and did it... and for the most part, that set off another series of events and she essentially ostracized herself and they didn't want much to do with her either. It's sad that people take advantage like that with such a serious lack of regard for others.

I think that most decisions require a chapter vote. However, in terms of big/little matching, that came down to the pledgemistress and assistant, and the president was brought in if necessary. I've never seen one get switched unless a girl went inactive or something... but that never even happened.

I think you are right to stick up for what you believe and keep talking about it. Sometimes, with certain eboards, there isn't much you can change with them, but you have the ability to work your way up and change things for others that come after you.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

my grandlittle, as assistant pledgemistress, took a little. Technically, there wasn't anything against it in our constitution or bylaws. She went ahead and did it... and for the most part, that set off another series of events and she essentially ostracized herself and they didn't want much to do with her either. It's sad that people take advantage like that with such a serious lack of regard for others.

Eh..I disagree. While I do agree that it is SLIGHTLY unethical for a new member educator/pledgemaster to take a little, sometimes there is no one else. When you get new member classes that are almost as big as the number of actives, you have to make exceptions.

As for new member ed assistants, if we never allowed them to take one then they may never get one at all. In my chapter, the assistant position is generally a stepping stone to the full position. If she could not take one as an assistant, and was assistant after her first semester in [as often happens], and then in the next elections was the Pledgemaster or whatever you want ot call it, she could potentially be able to take a little the semester before she graduates - and that's it.

[Buttonz]

Originally Posted by cryingcarebear

while i was not the best big in the world, i was far from being the worst this fraternity has seen. i even spoke with my (former) little tonight, and he told me he had no problems with me at all, besides the fact that we didn't hang out much, and hoped i wouldn't hate him for something he didn't choose for himself.

Meaning he never asked to be reassigned to another big?