At the End of My Rope!

[SydneyK]

It's always hard to see people we love in situations we hate. But, since these women are grown, they, as you know, are the only ones who can do anything about it.

Perhaps you should keep a detailed log for a month... and after that month, when one of them starts to complain about things, you can hand her the log and say, "Look. Just look at this. Then tell me if this is just going to be another complaint, or if you're actually going to do anything about it."

I can see how this is draining for you. And I can see why your other mutual friends have given up. What would your two relationship-challenged friends say if they read your post?

[SWTXBelle]

I don't think it would be out of line for you to tell them that you love them, and want the best for them, but it is draining for them to complain to you when they don't plan to change the situation. Support them, but understand you may to back off if all they want to do is complain. It is obviously sucking your energy to just hear a litany of complaints

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I can see how this is draining for you. And I can see why your other mutual friends have given up. What would your two relationship-challenged friends say if they read your post?

If they saw my post...I think they would feel badly. Actually, each of them has admitted that they need to get out of their respective relationships, but they don't take any steps to do so. With the married friend, a few of us have offered to house her if she wants to leave him but doesn't want to feel alone (She makes far more money than he does, and could easily afford her own place, but we were thinking maybe she would want some support at first if she left.).

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I don't think it would be out of line for you to tell them that you love them, and want the best for them, but it is draining for them to complain to you when they don't plan to change the situation. Support them, but understand you may to back off if all they want to do is complain. It is obviously sucking your energy to just hear a litany of complaints

You're right. I've told them that I'm not giving them any more advice on these matters, but I haven't worked up the nerve to let them know they are draining me. I think I need to do that.

Thanks, ladies!

[SWTXBelle]

Good luck - you are a good friend to these women, even if they don't recognize that right now.