Are we open to women with children?

[sarasmile]

I will preface my comments by saying that I am a mom myself. (Though I didn't get married and have children until several years after my undergraduate experience was over.)

I will also note for the record here that I have not yet read the original thread that apparently inspired this one, so my comments are entirely my own opinion in general...not referenced to any other situation which may have blown up on there recently.

I don't think that being a parent is something that would work on the vast majority of traditional campuses. The sorority experience at a traditional campus is demanding and in my experience (at my own campus)/observation (at campuses I work with now)...being a parent would conflict with those obligations.

Could it work at a non-traditional campus? Sure. But there is a fine line to walk. I absolutely agree that there are events that are just not appropriate to bring children to (chapter meetings, ritual events, etc) and if a member couldn't comply with that, then perhaps undergraduate sorority membership simply isn't for her.

Its different as an alumnae member, because a large number of us do have children and events are planned taking family/career obligations into consideration. The average undergraduate chapter plans their events around the schedules of the typical undergraduate student, as well they should.

Bottom line is that it has to be a case-by-case decision taking into consideration the campus involved and also the potential member involved. But if you ask me honestly would I have been open to accepting a woman with children for membership into my particular chapter while I was an undergraduate member? My honest answer would have been...no. It just wouldn't have flown on my campus. (And if the chapters I advise now came to me and asked me my opinion, I'd probably discourage it...but again, I mostly advise at traditional campuses.)

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by sarasmile

I will preface my comments by saying that I am a mom myself. (Though I didn't get married and have children until several years after my undergraduate experience was over.)

I will also note for the record here that I have not yet read the original thread that apparently inspired this one, so my comments are entirely my own opinion in general...not referenced to any other situation which may have blown up on there recently.

I don't think that being a parent is something that would work on the vast majority of traditional campuses. The sorority experience at a traditional campus is demanding and in my experience (at my own campus)/observation (at campuses I work with now)...being a parent would conflict with those obligations.

Could it work at a non-traditional campus? Sure. But there is a fine line to walk. I absolutely agree that there are events that are just not appropriate to bring children to (chapter meetings, ritual events, etc) and if a member couldn't comply with that, then perhaps undergraduate sorority membership simply isn't for her.

Its different as an alumnae member, because a large number of us do have children and events are planned taking family/career obligations into consideration. The average undergraduate chapter plans their events around the schedules of the typical undergraduate student, as well they should.

Bottom line is that it has to be a case-by-case decision taking into consideration the campus involved and also the potential member involved. But if you ask me honestly would I have been open to accepting a woman with children for membership into my particular chapter while I was an undergraduate member? My honest answer would have been...no. It just wouldn't have flown on my campus. (And if the chapters I advise now came to me and asked me my opinion, I'd probably discourage it...but again, I mostly advise at traditional campuses.)

I think that is a really honest and realistic answer. Unless a PNM can make it clear that all of her ducks are in a row, so to speak, why should a chapter trust that she would be able to juggle the myriad responsibilites involved in going to school, working, raising children, paying dues and being an active sister in a collegiate chapter? In most chapters, they can't take the risk on just anyone. If they make a mistake and the girl drops or is completely inactive, they're one member down, when for many chapters, every member counts.