Picked the wrong house? Help

[UGAalum94]

I really feel that once you are able to start attending new member meetings regularly, things will fall more into place.

Give the group you took a bid from your best effort at fitting in before initiation and see what happens.

No matter what you do in terms of dropping out and trying to join the other group, the day will come when you have to be the one to reach out to other new members, so on some level it's good practice now.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

No matter what you do in terms of dropping out and trying to join the other group, the day will come when you have to be the one to reach out to other new members, so on some level it's good practice now.

Agreed. Even if you dropped out before initiation, rushed again next year, and joined a different sorority, things will still be the same way if you aren't willing to take the time and initiative to get to know girls. Relationships, even within a sorority, are a 2 way street. Whether it's sorority A or B, the end result will still be the same if you expect sorority members to always be the ones to initiate things like hanging out. You'll end up feeling left out and upset.

[adpiucf]

I hope you feel better soon. It's very important to look at the big picture here. You've been a member for one week. You have not had an opportunity to make any sort of rational judgment call that you're not feeling like you fit in yet.

You and the sororities had about 4-6 days to meet one another and you got a membership bid from one of them based on your application and a few meetings with a handful of members. This next month is a probationary period for you to make sure you did make the right decision. The sorority will keep you as long as you don't violate any major sorority policies, so the ball is in your court.

So your Big smiled and waved to you at the Health Center instead of coming up to you and gushing, "Oh you poor thing, let me drop everything and bring you some chicken noodle soup!"

Remember to put yourself in her shoes" she doesn't even know you or might be shy herself. Or maybe she's a germ-a-phobe and didn't want to get too close to you if you are sick.

And saying this in the nicest way possible: No one owes you friendship. And if it isn't within you to make an effort to get to know people, then you should not be a member of any campus organization, let alone a sorority. You have pledged to respect the other members of the organization and they have pledged to respect you. You're not pledged to love every single person.

Your Big Sis is your sponsor through initiation. She isn't obligated to be your BFF. No one is. A sisterhood is a social organization. Part of that means you have to be sociable and initiate contact, too. The sorority will help you with this by hosting members-only events, retreats, etc., so you can get to know the members better.

If you make an effort and aren't feeling it 5 weeks from now, drop out of the sorority -- no sense wasting your time or the sorority's to initiate someone who doesn't want to be there! But do give it time and make an effort-- go to class, get involved on campus, call home, make friends in the sorority as well as making friends with non-Greeks, go to some sorority events and make an effort to break out of your shell. It's ok to be a shy person, but if you want to feel at home with your new sisters, you need to challenge yourself to grow outside of this comfort zone.

Get well soon and cheer up!