Picked the wrong house? Help

[flower78]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

First thing, calm down.

Judgng from what you said, you've only been in the sorority for like 2 weeks max. You need to give things time.

All relationships take time to develop. People seem to think that relationships within a sorority are supposed to be instantaneous.

Think about your best friend for example. You guys weren't bff's overnight, right? Same thing with the sorority. Everybody needs time to get to know each other and figure out who everyone is.

As far as your Big, give her a break. She might have been on her way somewhere in a hurry and didn't notice that you were 'dying'. She's human. You can't jump to the conclusion that she doesn't like you or doesn't care about you because of one isolated thing. She might not even know you feel this way if you didn't tell her.

As a new member, you will have PLENTY more opportunities to get to know girls and make friends. I would't start thinking you made the wrong decision, because even with B, it wouldn't be an instant thing. Everything takes time.

Good luck!

Haha I'm working on it (calming down) We had been in contact prior to running into each other at the health center so she knew how sick I was. I'm just afraid that it's not going to work out, and I have to decide by initiation which seems like it's just around the corner. As far as remembering how it was with my best friends, that's the problem. I haven't had a girl best friend in years. Almost all of my friends are guys with the exception of a few decent girl friends. I hope it all works out. Thanks for the advice!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by flower78

I'm just afraid that it's not going to work out, and I have to decide by initiation which seems like it's just around the corner.

The only thing you can do is make the best effort you can to attend events, interact with girls (all of them, not just your class), and get to know them.

Another important piece of advice:

Don't be the girl who expects everyone to come up to her and talk to them, or waits for others to ask HER to hang out! That's not effort. Take initiative to talk to girls and make plans with them! You'll get to know so many people that way.

I find that alot of girls end up depledging because they totally expected everyone to come up to them and talk to them and want to hang out with them without making an effort to get to know anyone themselves.

Life just doesn't work that way. Friendship is a 2 way street. Don't depledge without making a sincere effort.

[justabeachbrat]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Another important piece of advice:

Don't be the girl who expects everyone to come up to her and talk to them, or waits for others to ask HER to hang out! That's not effort. Take initiative to talk to girls and make plans with them! You'll get to know so many people that way.

I find that alot of girls end up depledging because they totally expected everyone to come up to them and talk to them and want to hang out with them without making an effort to get to know anyone themselves.

Life just doesn't work that way. Friendship is a 2 way street. Don't depledge without making a sincere effort.

Good advice there.
A summer I shared an apartment with a girl attending summer school at my campus and it didn't have her chapter. During the school year, she attended a university a few hundred miles away.
She hadn't been initiated yet and was thinking of depledging. The Greek system at her school was huge. Her pledge class in numbers was about the size of an average house at the campus I attended. She thought her fellow pledges were mostly cold and the members aloof. She was very shy.
I asked her what activities in her chapter she was involved in: sports, leadership, whatever. Other than going to meetings and required events, that was the extent of her involvement, and she lived in the dorms.
She also felt no strong connection to her big sister, which to me seemed no big surprise because her big sis worked part time and was carrying a full load of classes.
I suggested going back in the fall and trying to find a niche in her chapter, to give it another other go. And also to find a good time to get together with her big sister, like late coffee or an early morning run.
We talked to each other in the fall, and things had calmed down. She'd become active in her chapter's chorus (a chorus, yet), and it performed at seniors homes and at events.
I had just been a sounding board for her, she was the one who made the effort to change things.