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Alcohol does not belong on sorority property, regardless of whether or not school is in session or it is an alum-only event.
In the case of SA, I think it should have been handled as tactfully as possible for her to save face and defer to her to "educate the alums b/c they will respect" her position more... so she would want to continue to support the organization. If it had been handled as a face-to-face meeting and given her the chance to tell the other alums in her own way... a la, "Oopsies, girls! We're not allowed to have alcohol at the chapter house and I don't know where my head was! It was great to see all of you, though, and we'll have to remember to have our drinks off-campus next time!"... then I think she wouldn't be such sour grapes.
And Alums do deserve respect. If the collegians and HQ's want that lifetime alumnae support, they need to show some respect to the alums who have come before them. Especially if they ever hope to ask for $$$ or volunteers to support the chapter. You can't just go to the alums with outstretched hands. You have to cultivate and maintain a relationship. The alum has a lot of options on how she wants to spend her time and money. She isn't obligated to donate those to the sorority if she feels that all she is an open pocket book and a warm body.
And yes it sucks if you personally don't care for that individual. But this isn't about being BFF... it is entirely political, and sometimes you have to do things to keep programs going.
We easily forget that sororities are non-profit organizations. SA may be a PITA and a martyr, but that chapter probably would not exist right now had she not stepped in and helped rally the alumnae and raise the money necessary to keep it alive.
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