Alums and alcohol in chapter houses

skylark · #1 09-04-2007, 08:42 AM

I'm fine for having exceptions (so long as someone gets pre-approval rather than just "doing it"), but why should those exceptions only be available to alums (or even more limited, the super alums)? Doesn't that send a message of selective enforcement to the rest of alums and actives?

AlphaFrog · #2 09-04-2007, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

I'm fine for having exceptions (so long as someone gets pre-approval rather than just "doing it"), but why should those exceptions only be available to alums (or even more limited, the super alums)? Doesn't that send a message of selective enforcement to the rest of alums and actives?

College students are old enough to get a taste of the "real world". In the "real world", money, power, influence, contributions, etc get you privileges and exceptions (even after the fact). No, it's not "fair" to the average Joe, but that's life. If she was doing something potentially harmful/dangerous to herself or others, I would feel differently. It's wine in small quantities. It's nothing to get your panties in a bunch over.

skylark · #3 09-04-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

College students are old enough to get a taste of the "real world". In the "real world", money, power, influence, contributions, etc get you privileges and exceptions (even after the fact). No, it's not "fair" to the average Joe, but that's life. If she was doing something potentially harmful/dangerous to herself or others, I would feel differently. It's wine in small quantities. It's nothing to get your panties in a bunch over.

Life's often not fair. However, that isn't an excuse if you are perpetuating the unfairness. What if that is what the courts said whenever someone argued in front of them to have the laws applied equally? Yes, money and power create influence, but shouldn't sorority leaders strive to avoid that corruption?

By the way... my panties are perfectly unbunched today, thank you. ;-)

AlphaFrog · #4 09-04-2007, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

By the way... my panties are perfectly unbunched today, thank you. ;-)

I wasn't actually talking about you...I was talking about the sorority leaders.

Panties were definitely firmly bunched in that situation.

33girl · #5 09-04-2007, 03:47 PM

FWIW, even if it was an alum who never gave a dime to the chapter, if she showed up with a bottle of wine or something, she also should receive a gentle warning, not her head handed to her on a plate. Treating ANY alum like that is unacceptable. It's just stupider in this case since they probably sent a lot of $$ walking out the door.

DeltAlum · #6 09-04-2007, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

FWIW, even if it was an alum who never gave a dime to the chapter, if she showed up with a bottle of wine or something, she also should receive a gentle warning, not her head handed to her on a plate. Treating ANY alum like that is unacceptable. It's just stupider in this case since they probably sent a lot of $$ walking out the door.

Excellent point.

SAE_Alumnus · #7 09-09-2007, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Treating ANY alum like that is unacceptable.

Alumni should not automatically have the respect of active members. I know plenty of Greek alumni who perpetuate stereotypes and give nothing back to their organizations. Alumni should have to earn the respect of actives by being positive role models and upholding the values of their organization.

Certainly, the alumna in question has done much to earn respect, but I would be careful about making generalizations.

adpiucf · #8 09-09-2007, 08:40 PM

Alcohol does not belong on sorority property, regardless of whether or not school is in session or it is an alum-only event.

In the case of SA, I think it should have been handled as tactfully as possible for her to save face and defer to her to "educate the alums b/c they will respect" her position more... so she would want to continue to support the organization. If it had been handled as a face-to-face meeting and given her the chance to tell the other alums in her own way... a la, "Oopsies, girls! We're not allowed to have alcohol at the chapter house and I don't know where my head was! It was great to see all of you, though, and we'll have to remember to have our drinks off-campus next time!"... then I think she wouldn't be such sour grapes.

And Alums do deserve respect. If the collegians and HQ's want that lifetime alumnae support, they need to show some respect to the alums who have come before them. Especially if they ever hope to ask for $$$ or volunteers to support the chapter. You can't just go to the alums with outstretched hands. You have to cultivate and maintain a relationship. The alum has a lot of options on how she wants to spend her time and money. She isn't obligated to donate those to the sorority if she feels that all she is an open pocket book and a warm body.

And yes it sucks if you personally don't care for that individual. But this isn't about being BFF... it is entirely political, and sometimes you have to do things to keep programs going.
We easily forget that sororities are non-profit organizations. SA may be a PITA and a martyr, but that chapter probably would not exist right now had she not stepped in and helped rally the alumnae and raise the money necessary to keep it alive.

33girl · #9 09-09-2007, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAE_Alumnus

Alumni should not automatically have the respect of active members. I know plenty of Greek alumni who perpetuate stereotypes and give nothing back to their organizations. Alumni should have to earn the respect of actives by being positive role models and upholding the values of their organization.

Certainly, the alumna in question has done much to earn respect, but I would be careful about making generalizations.

Yes, they should automatically have respect, unless they do something to show that they don't merit it. Maybe the guy who "perpetuated a stereotype" gave $5000 to his fraternity's philanthropy or helped a brother who was in emotional trouble, but didn't feel the need to wave it around just so he could hear everyone say what a paragon of Greek virtue he was. As you said, be careful about making generalizations.

You don't bitch someone out in the rudest way possible who was simply trying to do something nice for someone, if they just didn't know the rules. Especially if the rules are pretty freaking ridiculous, antiquated and sexist to begin with.

SAE_Alumnus · #10 09-09-2007, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

College students are old enough to get a taste of the "real world". In the "real world", money, power, influence, contributions, etc get you privileges and exceptions (even after the fact).

It is also a fact that racism still exists in the "real world," but that doesn't mean we should teach students that racism is okay. If we want today's students to make the world a better place, they have to believe they have the power to change it - that we can someday achieve equality (in terms of race or social status, or any other factor for that matter).

This type of attitude certainly doesn't give much promise for a better future.

Kevin · #11 09-04-2007, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

I'm fine for having exceptions (so long as someone gets pre-approval rather than just "doing it"), but why should those exceptions only be available to alums (or even more limited, the super alums)? Doesn't that send a message of selective enforcement to the rest of alums and actives?

Well, the purpose of the rule is to keep college kids from drinking too much, right? So if an alum -- a super alum drinks and is punished, why are we even worrying about enforcing the rule?

The world is full of double standards.

Personally, if I were said alum, I'd realize my mistake and allow the house corp, etc. to make a show about how deadly serious they were about the policy's enforcement. It'd be an agreed thing and one with no serious consequences.

I think in that regard, the group has missed out on a great opportunity to make a statement to the undergrads.

That said, it is stupid to alienate one of your group's biggest supporters for breaking a rule where by doing so, no possible harm could have occurred. In every enforcement of any rule, a group needs to weigh the costs vs. the benefits of doing so. Alienating an influential and giving alumna is simply not worth 'making a point' in my book.

-- Far be it for me to tell another organization what they ought to be doing though.

33girl · #12 09-04-2007, 09:46 AM

They most likely did not lose only this alum, but also a few others. Someone that influential takes others with her.

The better idea would have been for the alums of the local chapter (I'm assuming you mean the housing corp board) to go to the regional director and let her know what happened, explain this woman and ask the RD to send her a letter or something. It probably would have prevented her getting pissed off and explained the policy so it didn't happen again.

When you have people FROM YOUR OWN CHAPTER reading you the riot act when you damn well know what they did in college - it doesn't fly well at all. Not to mention, I'm guessing some of the women who "dressed her down" were jealous of her influence.