Alums and alcohol in chapter houses

CarolinaDG · #1 09-03-2007, 09:24 AM

I never lived in a house, so I'm not sure why those rules are in place... our housing allowed alcohol as long as you were 21. (At least, I'm pretty sure that wasn't against DG rules... I turned 21 right before our chapter closed)

Anyway, I don't see the big deal as long as everyone present was 21, but yes they should have asked permission... unless of course they knew it was wrong and were trying to hide it, in which case, why's she so upset? It's her fault!

I guess my only thing is that if she only got a stern warning, why did she have to throw a fit? They didn't do anything to her, just asked that she abide by house rules!

Titchou · #2 09-03-2007, 09:35 AM

I can absolutely tell you that Delta Gamma's alcohol policy states there is to be no alcohol on ANY delta Gamma property - this means house, steps, parking lot, anything. Absolutely NO waivers are given for alum functions. They have been asked for and have been turned down. This is one policy for which waivers are never granted.

skylark · #3 09-03-2007, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarolinaDG

I guess my only thing is that if she only got a stern warning, why did she have to throw a fit? They didn't do anything to her, just asked that she abide by house rules!

My thoughts exactly... a warning = SA's ego deflated. It sounds like SA thought she was the sh*t with her GLO because she "saved" a chapter and everyone should be so grateful for her self-sacrificing GLO spirit... who does HQ think they are making her follow pesky rules that she could probably even change if she really wanted to (some sarcasm, I hope, was detected).

Yeah, the spirit of the rule probably isn't violated since it was wine at an alum-only dinner... but shouldn't HQ be able to decide FIRST if this is a worthy exception before some SA (who is so involved in the sorority it is unlikely that she didn't know of the rule) decides that she has the authority to make the exception because of who she is?

AlphaFrog · #4 09-03-2007, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

Yeah, the spirit of the rule probably isn't violated since it was wine at an alum-only dinner...

Exactly. No need to continue.

People get too much of a stick up their ass about alcohol rules. One (or two) glass(es) of wine for overage alums does not pose a Risk Management issue.

I hope they were wearing their pins/letters too...just for the full effect.

lake · #5 09-03-2007, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I hope they were wearing their pins/letters too...just for the full effect.

I know it's wrong, but that scenario is friggin' funny.

SWTXBelle · #6 09-03-2007, 11:27 AM

Here's the deal -whether the rule is stupid or not, it is still a directive from Headquarters. The alumnae should have had their meal at a nice restaurant, or not had wine in the chapter house. What kind of message does it send to the collegians when a "super alum" flouts the rules? You are setting the stage for all KINDS of unnecessary conflicts. If SA loves her GLO, she should follow the rules. I suspect she once vowed to do just that. And if she really doesn't like the rule - change it. I suspect, based on my own experience, that it had more to do with her ego than anything else.

honeychile · #7 09-03-2007, 11:59 AM

Our local "Super Alum" and I had a discussion about alcohol. She & her husband have a very active social life, and occasionally, she goes from someone's party to the chapter. She was wondering if she was wrong having even a glass of wine at the party, prior to going to the Suite. We decided that telling the chapter that she had come from a previous engagement which included wine with dinner was the best way to go.

As innocent as this reunion seems to have been, there seems to have been a lot of over-reaction on both sides. SA & her daughter knew better, and the GLO was right - but in defense of both sides, they ALL should remember to "pick their battles". A politely worded "of course, you know better" from the GLO and a politely worded, "I'm sorry, it will never happen again" would have saved a lot of angst in this case.

Tom Earp · #8 09-03-2007, 02:15 PM

What a shame all of this gets so over the top.

When I used to visit the house, I always stayed there with the guys.

Some other people seem to have a (THE) stick up somewhere.

texas*princess · #9 09-03-2007, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Exactly. No need to continue.

People get too much of a stick up their ass about alcohol rules. One (or two) glass(es) of wine for overage alums does not pose a Risk Management issue.

I hope they were wearing their pins/letters too...just for the full effect.

I'm with AF on this one. It was a glass of wine at dinner. Not a huge everyone-grab-your-own-bottle-and-let's-party-like-we-were-19-again event.

I'm not sure why SA got all crazy because it's not like they seriously reprimanded her.

As far as the overnight guest scenario goes, being an alum = being out of college = some sort of income = hotel room. There is no reason for an overage alum who is not in college, or the house mom, to be staying in a sorority house during the summer or at any time for that matter.

Anyway, if the chapter & housing corp. was serious about making sure nothing happened in the house while everyone was out, they would have made sure the house was locked and no one had access to it. Apparently something happened that allowed this group of women in unsupervised

EE-BO · #10 09-10-2007, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skylark

My thoughts exactly... a warning = SA's ego deflated. It sounds like SA thought she was the sh*t with her GLO because she "saved" a chapter and everyone should be so grateful for her self-sacrificing GLO spirit

I agree 100%. Unless the scolding took place on the front lawn with the whole chapter watching, there was no need for the initial admonition to blow up into what it did and become a public matter.

Either SA has an inflated ego, as you suggest, or perhaps this was used as an excuse for an exit strategy. The older I get, the more people I run into who create an excuse to drop a committment rather than just quit. Very cowardly behavior.

As for the alcohol issue in general, I seem to have a view in the minority.

I am an advisor for my chapter and also an officer on the Housing Corporation. My GLO does not have a fraternity-wide dry house policy, nor is my chapter's house dry.

And yet, I do not drink at the fraternity house. I did have a beer once back when I first took on the advisor role, but since that time I have had nothing. Yes, I will drink and have a blast at off-site alumni events, but never at the house.

This is the price an advisor or alumnus in a key guidance role has to pay in my view. We are not due nor have we earned special rights- if anything we have to live by even stricter standards when on chapter property.

My fraternity has been at my alma mater for over 120 years and never shut down- we have the longest continuous existence of any fraternity here. Thus, we have an incredibly good Risk Management environment and the odds of something going wrong are very tiny.

But there is always that "what if" out there- and what if something happens when I am at the house and I am drinking and/or drunk?

Advisors and alumni who are actively involved in chapter support are there to provide guidance. But our most critical task is to "be there" on those extremely rare occasions when the unthinkable happens.

And you can't "be there" if you are drinking on site. It is not about following state laws or acting within IHQ guidelines- it is about being completely above reproach when at the house.

This is the small cost that goes along with the great personal reward of being of service to your chapter as an alumnus.

All offered IMHO.