Huge problem with transfering into a new chapter...HELP!!

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by giggle528

yeah, no im just going to stay....yah ur right i would feel too guilty to re-rush. i was just getting soo turned off by my chapter back home.

Good because everyone else is right. Once you were found out, you'd get kicked out of your "old" sorority and kicked out of your "new" sorority.

Originally Posted by giggle528

so im guessing people have seen girls who have not been affliated with the chapters at their new school, where their letter any? wouldnt they be made fun off, because they are not really a ABC at the school?

No.

When you are initiated into a sorority, you can wear the sorority's letters. Period. You are a member (unless you attempt to rerush and get kicked out). It's not like individual chapters have jurisdiction over whether or not women from other chapters can wear letters within ten miles of that school.

That said, it WOULD look pretty desperate if you transferred from a non-competitive Greek System to a so-called "top tier" or "popular" chapter just for the status and wore your letters around before affiliation in hopes of being seen as a member of the "popular" chapter. I'm assuming that's not what you did.

BTW, how are you even sure that you're going to LIKE this new chapter better than the chapter at your old school? Have you even met the women yet? You sound pretty confident that this is going to be a good match. I'm not saying it won't, but chapters can differ drastically even between in-state schools. The AXO chapter 75 miles down the freeway from my school was nothing like my chapter.

Maybe you should wait and see if you even fit in with this new chapter before you get on the phone with your mom and "scare" people at HQ.


ETA: And please take that to heart. Don't piss off HQ. You may need their help later on, especially if the chapter at your new school denies your affiliation request. The new chapter and HQ hold the cards in this situation, not you.

ETA Part II: I want to AGAIN stress (because your general tone leads me to believe you're having trouble checking your attitude because you're so frustrated) that you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.

My chapter advisor had eyes and ears all over HQ and at chapters around the state. She knew EVERYTHING that was going on. I'm just saying, if we had a girl attempt to affiliate with us and she was being a pain in the ass or rude to HQ/members of her old chapter, it would very much hurt her standing in our mind. All HQ owes you is your badge, if you paid for it, and a membership certificate. Anything else beyond that is extra help. It's unfortunate, but the "Catering to Frustrated Affilliation Candidates" department at your HQs is probably horribly understaffed.

[giggle528]

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Good because everyone else is right. Once you were found out, you'd get kicked out of your "old" sorority and kicked out of your "new" sorority.



No.

When you are initiated into a sorority, you can wear the sorority's letters. Period. You are a member (unless you attempt to rerush and get kicked out). It's not like individual chapters have jurisdiction over whether or not women from other chapters can wear letters within ten miles of that school.

That said, it WOULD look pretty desperate if you transferred from a non-competitive Greek System to a so-called "top tier" or "popular" chapter just for the status and wore your letters around before affiliation in hopes of being seen as a member of the "popular" chapter. I'm assuming that's not what you did.

BTW, how are you even sure that you're going to LIKE this new chapter better than the chapter at your old school? Have you even met the women yet? You sound pretty confident that this is going to be a good match. I'm not saying it won't, but chapters can differ drastically even between in-state schools. The AXO chapter 75 miles down the freeway from my school was nothing like my chapter.

Maybe you should wait and see if you even fit in with this new chapter before you get on the phone with your mom and "scare" people at HQ.


ETA: And please take that to heart. Don't piss off HQ. You may need their help later on, especially if the chapter at your new school denies your affiliation request. The new chapter and HQ hold the cards in this situation, not you.

ETA Part II: I want to AGAIN stress (because your general tone leads me to believe you're having trouble checking your attitude because you're so frustrated) that you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.

My chapter advisor had eyes and ears all over HQ and at chapters around the state. She knew EVERYTHING that was going on. I'm just saying, if we had a girl attempt to affiliate with us and she was being a pain in the ass or rude to HQ/members of her old chapter, it would very much hurt her standing in our mind. All HQ owes you is your badge, if you paid for it, and a membership certificate. Anything else beyond that is extra help. It's unfortunate, but the "Catering to Frustrated Affilliation Candidates" department at your HQs is probably horribly understaffed.

I havent worn any of my letters yet..i've just been wearing my bracelet that i always where. I didnt want them to be like "whos that ABC girl? where is she from" thats what i was thinking though about how they will probably wait until after rush so that they can give their bids. but my old prez told me that i have the upperhand, since im already a member of ABC. is that true? and the transfer lady at HQ told me that they kinda have to accept me, and that to her knowledge no one has ever been denied even if they are at total.

and ur right i might not even like them, i mean i am going to give them a chance..i have to. ill most likely try to become close to their new members since im new too.

im going to the interest meeting tonight..should i introduce myself??

[adpiucf]

If the sorority never sent in any initiation paperwork to their HQ on you or your pledge sisters, then none of you are initiated members. The initiation was not conducted with the consent of HQ. If simply going through the initiation ceremony would make you a member of ABC, we wouldn't need chartered chapters and "underground chapters" could operate.

If, however, HQ, processed your initiation paperwork from scratch (and why they would take you at your word as being a member without any verification from the chapter is beyond me!), then your paperwork is filed, and you are an initiated member.

Contact your chapter adviser from the former university and talk to her. Get a hold of those transfer forms, even if that is not your duty. Fill them out and flap where signatures are needed. Mail the forms to the chapter president via certified mail and include a self-addressed-stamped envelope so she has an easy method to send it back.

You need to stay on top of this with phone calls, and in-person meetings as much as possible. Email is not a reliable form of communication from which to gain a response, except to serve as a paper trail.

There is no guarantee that the chapter at the new campus will accept your transfer, nor that you will like the chapter at the new campus, even if the paperwork is processed.

Good luck. Make this a priority if it is important to you.

[giggle528]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

If the sorority never sent in any initiation paperwork to their HQ on you or your pledge sisters, then none of you are initiated members. The initiation was not conducted with the consent of HQ. If simply going through the initiation ceremony would make you a member of ABC, we wouldn't need chartered chapters and "underground chapters" could operate.

If, however, HQ, processed your initiation paperwork from scratch (and why they would take you at your word as being a member without any verification from the chapter is beyond me!), then your paperwork is filed, and you are an initiated member.

Contact your chapter adviser from the former university and talk to her. Get a hold of those transfer forms, even if that is not your duty. Fill them out and flap where signatures are needed. Mail the forms to the chapter president via certified mail and include a self-addressed-stamped envelope so she has an easy method to send it back.

You need to stay on top of this with phone calls, and in-person meetings as much as possible. Email is not a reliable form of communication from which to gain a response, except to serve as a paper trail.

There is no guarantee that the chapter at the new campus will accept your transfer, nor that you will like the chapter at the new campus, even if the paperwork is processed.

Good luck. Make this a priority if it is important to you.

THANKK YOUU!!! someone understandds! according to HQ like a week ago, i was in their database as "on hold" meaning that to them i have not been initiated. i was not an ABC according to HQ. thats what i was saying before, that i was going to cancel all my checks and have my chapter throw away my stuff, because at that point my mom wanted me out of it anyways. but i finally just called HQ fusterated that my prez wasnt doing her job, so they did the paperwork for me, and sent it over to my new campus. it is here now..as of yesterday(and i asked my prez to do this...ohh i dunno...beginning of Julyy)so now i am just waiting for them to e-mail me back inviting me to meet them.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by giggle528

THANKK YOUU!!! someone understandds! according to HQ like a week ago, i was in their database as "on hold" meaning that to them i have not been initiated. i was not an ABC according to HQ. thats what i was saying before, that i was going to cancel all my checks and have my chapter throw away my stuff, because at that point my mom wanted me out of it anyways. but i finally just called HQ fusterated that my prez wasnt doing her job, so they did the paperwork for me, and sent it over to my new campus. it is here now..as of yesterday(and i asked my prez to do this...ohh i dunno...beginning of Julyy)so now i am just waiting for them to e-mail me back inviting me to meet them.

So why start this thread??

Also,
CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE MORE TIME WITH YOUR POSTS, THEY ARE HARD TO READ. THANK YOU.

[giggle528]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Also,
CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE MORE TIME WITH YOUR POSTS, THEY ARE HARD TO READ. THANK YOU.

...if you dont like them..then dont read them

[LegallyBrunette]

Originally Posted by giggle528

...if you dont like them..then dont read them

You have recieved some excellent advice as to how to proceed and I wish you the best. That being said, AlphaFrog's comment is also good advice. Poor proofreading, whether in a paper for school, communication with your org, or simply on a message board, takes away from what you're trying to say and is quite distracting.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by giggle528

THANKK YOUU!!! someone understandds! according to HQ like a week ago, i was in their database as "on hold" meaning that to them i have not been initiated. i was not an ABC according to HQ. thats what i was saying before, that i was going to cancel all my checks and have my chapter throw away my stuff, because at that point my mom wanted me out of it anyways. but i finally just called HQ fusterated that my prez wasnt doing her job, so they did the paperwork for me, and sent it over to my new campus. it is here now..as of yesterday(and i asked my prez to do this...ohh i dunno...beginning of Julyy)so now i am just waiting for them to e-mail me back inviting me to meet them.

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

So why start this thread??

Also,
CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE MORE TIME WITH YOUR POSTS, THEY ARE HARD TO READ. THANK YOU.

Originally Posted by giggle528

...if you dont like them..then dont read them

i know im SO swervin in yall lane, but seriously, you said yourself that HQ didnt have you down as being an XYZ. i dunno, do HQs usually just "do paperwork" for PNMs like that at the busiest time of (NPC) sorority year?

and kudos on your mom wanting you out of the sorority. and bigger kudos on wanting to throw all your para away. i bet you make a great sister.

i jus feel like there's more to the story - why WOULDNT a chapter send papers to HQ if they initiated you?

(and for my own knowledge, i recall from some retro thread, that when you transfer from State U to U State College as an XYZ, that it is very possible you may not become affiliated because of quotas, chapter fit and what not?)

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

So why start this thread??

I'm still waiting for an answer to this question...

If your paperwork was in the day that you started this thread then what's your problem? You're either a troll or a dramaqueen.

[giggle528]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I'm still waiting for an answer to this question...

If your paperwork was in the day that you started this thread then what's your problem? You're either a troll or a dramaqueen.

hi alphafrog...well actually i started this thread a day or two before i got the e-mail....

[LOVEinZTA]

Originally Posted by giggle528

but my old prez told me that i have the upperhand, since im already a member of ABC. is that true? and the transfer lady at HQ told me that they kinda have to accept me, and that to her knowledge no one has ever been denied even if they are at total.

um NO NO and NO!
It is COMPLETELY possible for a chapter to not accept a transfer student. It doesn't happen often, but there are extreme circumstances, and it seems like you appear to be creating some. In that case, the transfer is granted early alumna status.

I say this all only because A) I DID transfer chapters B) We DID have one girl the chapter didn't take and C) I'm now the person in charge of helping transfers reaffiliate. Paperwork takes a REALLY LONG TIME. I sent the paperwork to HQ and my old chapter in April and by late OCTOBER it still wasn't done, so quit complaining. I had little to no contact with our transfers through this summer and recruitment. Let the poor chapter get their new members and then they'll take care of you - they have WAY too much on their plate right now! If by 2 weeks after recruitment you still haven't heard back from someone, then you can start getting on to people. They know you're there and TRUST ME, at this point it sounds like it would be impossible for them to forget you.

I have a few questions: If you hated your old school so much and didn't get along with the girls in your chapter, then what makes you think sorority life is going to be different at your new school? Why do you want to be involved? Does it have anything to do with the fact that "Greek life is so big" at your new school?

And please, for the love of Greekdom, learn to write properly. You're not 15 anymore and if you haven't learned at least semi-proper English you surely shouldn't be in college. /rant

[giggle528]

im only writing what the transfer lady from my org said in her e-mail. THATS exactly what she said "there are a lot of transfers every year, and to my knowledge, no one has ever been denied even if they were at total we worked through it to get them affliated" thats exactly what she said. I would show u the e-mail, but it was sent through my old school e-mail and that is no longer active.

here i joined a sorority because i loved the girls that were in it at my old school. greek life wasnt THAT big, but you defiently knew who was in it and who wasnt. my school was only 4,000 students. i wanted to join, because i've always been part of a group. I was in girl scouts for 9 years and I was on my high school colorguard team for 4 years. In each group everyone was very close with one another. I love having friends with the same common interest and because I never played sports in HS (I figure skated) i knew that i couldnt start one in college..duh..haha! so I thought a sorority was the next best thing, because we are all reaching towards a common goal;sisterhood. The girls in my pledge class were pretty close, or atleast the girls that were in my dorm that were part of my pledge class were. there were 9 girls not including me in my pledge class, but the reason why i feel that there was a lack of unity in my sorority was because we only did things together when we HAD to, other than that it would be "hey" if we walked by one of our sisters and that was it. Also during greek week, there were tonz of events, non of my sisters went, because either they were "too busy" or just plain didnt want to go. I wanted to go, but i was too insecure to go by myself and be the only ABC there. personally that doesnt seem like a sisterhood to me. During initation, half the time the girls were wispering to one another, slouching in their seat or not even paying attention. To me, that was rude.

the reason i decided to transfer wasnt because I didnt like my sorority. The school was too small and they didnt have the major I wanted. I looked for a school that had my sorority, because I wanted to stay in it. Here, greek life isnt that big either. I mean there are 18,000 undergrads, so naturally tthere are more people that are greek, but its not a huge school where everyone goes greek.

[adpiucf]

Good luck at your new school and keep us posted on the transfer. Be prepared if you do have the option to transfer into the new chapter. It can be a big adjustment, as the culture of this chapter may be very different than the one you joined. You'll have to make a lot of the effort to get to know the sisters, too.

Greek Chat Ladies, I don't want to delve too much into areas which are not my business, but I was under the impression that all NPC chapters have to receive a "release" or approval to initiate members before they may proceed with doing so, and then follow-up with post-initiation paperwork almost immediately following the initiation. Is this the case with most of your groups? As I said before, it only makes sense as being a chapter of a larger umbrella organization-- if you did not need some form of approval or authorization to initiate your members or some pre and post-follow-up, members could argue that they were free to initiate anyone, with or without an actual chartered chapter. Thus, if a chapter initiates a member or an entire class without some kind of formal communication to their HQ (initiation release form/post-initiation follow-up paperwork), the neophytes have not truly been initiated b/c the HQ does not recognize them as members.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by giggle528

im only writing what the transfer lady from my org said in her e-mail. THATS exactly what she said "there are a lot of transfers every year, and to my knowledge, no one has ever been denied even if they were at total we worked through it to get them affliated" thats exactly what she said. I would show u the e-mail, but it was sent through my old school e-mail and that is no longer active.

I'm not trying to argue with you, I don't doubt that that's what HQ lady said in the email but I find it unlikely anyone would tell you about the circumstances in which a member was denied affiliation. It DOES happen -- and not as infrequently as you'd think -- and it's probably due to standards/financial issues. So no matter what you got in an email, it's best to not view it as an "in the bag" situation.

You've already gotten lots of fantastic advice, so the moral of this thread is that if you love your sorority and want the best shot at reaffiliating, you have GOT to be patient. That doesn't mean ignoring HQ.... by all means call them up periodically (NICELY) to check the status of your initiation but for heaven's sake, no more having mom call HQs! Just take a deep breath and try not to let this get you bent out of shape. I know you're eager to try reaffiliating, but I'm sure many of us who have dealt with "nationals" can attest to the fact that it sometimes can be very slow going. Getting mad just raises your blood pressure but it rarely helps these things go any faster.

In the mean time, try to get to know the chapter and maybe if they're on board they can pull some strings for you, or at least get the paperwork together so as soon as your initiation goes through the system, you can affiliate ASAP.

[giggle528]

yeah, im fine now...ive figured everything out.