Relationship - Taking a Break

blackngoldengrl · #1 08-07-2007, 12:36 AM

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

I think in my case, I'm wondering what those who have been through this before with successfully getting back together felt that the break did for their relationship? Gave you clarity,allowed you to focus on yourself and getting your life together, gave you the opportunity to explore other relationships if you wanted to, etc. And if you didn't get back together, do you feel that it was worth it?

Gracias and goodnight!

PrettyBoy · #2 08-07-2007, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

I think in my case, I'm wondering what those who have been through this before with successfully getting back together felt that the break did for their relationship? Gave you clarity,allowed you to focus on yourself and getting your life together, gave you the opportunity to explore other relationships if you wanted to, etc. And if you didn't get back together, do you feel that it was worth it?

Gracias and goodnight!

One chance! She messes up...see ya.

AOII_LB93 · #3 08-10-2007, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

I think in my case, I'm wondering what those who have been through this before with successfully getting back together felt that the break did for their relationship? Gave you clarity,allowed you to focus on yourself and getting your life together, gave you the opportunity to explore other relationships if you wanted to, etc. And if you didn't get back together, do you feel that it was worth it?

Gracias and goodnight!

Ok, so I'm a few days late in responding, but you asked for someone who has successfully gotten back together after a break....and that is me. My husband and I (before we got married) took a break for about 6 months. We were living together and I felt like the relationship was going nowhere. So I got back from a trip and we broke it off. I moved out on my own...and did a lot of thinking. I realized that he was the person that I wanted in my life and vice-versa. We were engaged 6 months later(april 05) and married by the end of 2005. I honestly feel that if we hadn't split up, we wouldn't be married today simply because we had both gotten far too comfortable with the crappyness we were in together. Did he date others? No...did I? No, but it gave us both time to think about what we really wanted.

OneTimeSBX · #4 08-10-2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ok, so I'm a few days late in responding, but you asked for someone who has successfully gotten back together after a break....and that is me. My husband and I (before we got married) took a break for about 6 months. We were living together and I felt like the relationship was going nowhere. So I got back from a trip and we broke it off. I moved out on my own...and did a lot of thinking. I realized that he was the person that I wanted in my life and vice-versa. We were engaged 6 months later(april 05) and married by the end of 2005. I honestly feel that if we hadn't split up, we wouldn't be married today simply because we had both gotten far too comfortable with the crappyness we were in together. Did he date others? I don't think so...did I? No, but it gave us both time to think about what we really wanted.

i think its nice that splitting/taking a break worked for someone!

i have had times when i could not be around the other person and think straight. they were a distraction, because everytime something went down, the conversation turned into an argument, and nothing got accomplished. it seems like a cop out, just running out, but i think it just depends on what both parties really are thinking about when they want the break. after a vacation seems to be a popular time, i guess all that relaxing and thinking on the beach lol!

PrettyBoy · #5 08-11-2007, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ok, so I'm a few days late in responding, but you asked for someone who has successfully gotten back together after a break....and that is me. My husband and I (before we got married) took a break for about 6 months. We were living together and I felt like the relationship was going nowhere. So I got back from a trip and we broke it off. I moved out on my own...and did a lot of thinking. I realized that he was the person that I wanted in my life and vice-versa. We were engaged 6 months later(april 05) and married by the end of 2005. I honestly feel that if we hadn't split up, we wouldn't be married today simply because we had both gotten far too comfortable with the crappyness we were in together. Did he date others? No...did I? No, but it gave us both time to think about what we really wanted.

Well, now that you're married, there are no breaks for real. You've got to work out whatever it is you two go through, unless someone cheats or verbal and physical abuse is involved, God forbid that happen in your marriage. I only wish you two the best and hope you stay together forever, the way it should be with NO breaks this time.

AOII_LB93 · #6 08-15-2007, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Well, now that you're married, there are no breaks for real. You've got to work out whatever it is you two go through, unless someone cheats or verbal and physical abuse is involved, God forbid that happen in your marriage. I only wish you two the best and hope you stay together forever, the way it should be with NO breaks this time.

Well duh, you don't get to take breaks during marriage...except for maybe my trips to France with my students that my husband refuses to come on because he doesn't want to chaperone teens in Paris. LOL

33girl · #7 08-15-2007, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

If you've never been in a really long relationship before, sometimes it's hard to know what's an issue that can't be resolved, and what's just the changing of the relationship due to time. You hate to just throw it away if it's the kind of change that's going to happen in any relationship. Ex-Mr 33 and I had this problem before we broke up. It didn't help that his good friend "Joe" and his girlfriend "Jane" had been breaking up and getting back together for 10 years (they are now married w/ baby) or that both our sets of parents had similar off & on things at points in their relationships. We were both kind of like "well, I guess this is just stuff that happens." It wasn't, though.