Relationship - Taking a Break

[Animate]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

PB--

When your married, you have to give chance after chance. You just cannot break up whenever you want to. But, you can have "breaks" when you figure stuff out on your own for a few hours and come back rejuvenated...

For the gentlemen, that's when you play golf or basketball on the court all day...

For the ladies, that's when you go to the spa and get "rejuvenated" by Javier... (J/K--or am I? )

I agree but I don't think PB was talking in a sense of marriage. Moreso in a pre-marital relationship. I learned early that the whole "breaks" thing wouldn't work most of the time. My ex tried that and I simply responded "What for?". If you want to be in the relationship don't run away from it. Chances are if you have to think twice then the decision has already been made.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Animate

I agree but I don't think PB was talking in a sense of marriage. Moreso in a pre-marital relationship. I learned early that the whole "breaks" thing wouldn't work most of the time. My ex tried that and I simply responded "What for?". If you want to be in the relationship don't run away from it. Chances are if you have to think twice then the decision has already been made.

Well, I should let PB speak for himself as I know he can... The thing is, how you are in a SERIOUS unmarried relationship dictates how you will probably be in a marital relationship. So, say you have a "steady girl/boy-friend", if you are gallivanting around hangin' in the homeys and the boys, then it is more likely you will do it when you are married. Now, it should be the partner's choice if that is "okay" with him/her to allow you to hang out in bars to be wannabe Stars and VIP. But if it is not "okay"--and with most young people it isn't, then that means someone is more secure with themselves while being in the relationship...

All, I am saying is if someone needs a "temporary break" to sort things out, just like a bird, you have to let them free. Nothing is going to stop that person from NOT being there. However, when your married, that brings a whole new different set of rules. And "temporary breaks" may need to occur, but when they do, are they really profitable?

[PrettyBoy]

I wasn't speaking of marriage, but since it's been brought up, I would have to agree with AKA Monet. Yes, breaks are needed in a marriage. Sometimes we need that alone time, but I think the OP was saying that people will say they need a break, in other words lets break up for a while and then get back together later. My response to that is NO. That's unacceptable. I would tell her don't come back because I won't be there. Like I said before there are no breaks. o.k. here's the deal and I know you guys are going to think I'm this possessive stalker from hell, well I'm not, but I do take relationships very seriously and this is why. When I go out with a woman on the 1st date, I'm not just going out with her just to be going out with her. The physical attraction is the 1st thing that's going to get me to go out with her in the 1st place, and then from that point on is when I'll try to see if she and I are compatible. I've never casual dated. I only date one woman at a time and I expect the same from her. If we're not compatible then move on to the next. I believe in one man for one woman and vise versa for long term to marriage. None of this lets take a break because we're having problems or I think we should meet new people. o.k. Why? I've said this in another thread, but I've been this way since puberty. Seriously, when I was 17, if my ex in highschool didn't cut me a loose, I would still be with her to this day. She thought since I was going to college that I would be more interested in college girls than her. She was two years younger than me. Anyway, she was wrong. I would have never done that. I would have only been interested in her. See, it's problems like this that confuse me. Why break up if you don't have to. If there's no cheating, and no abuse then what's the point. This is why I say there should be no breaks. There's too much of this going on today and I think this is a huge contribution to the high divorce rate. I hate that when people say, "I think we should meet new people." I think we need to take a break." "Why?" "Because it's just not working out." "But why?" See, this is what the conversation is like. There is no reason why. It's flat out stupid, and pointless. That's why I say don't come back. I'll move on to someone who has the same thinking about relationships as I do. In a marriage, you've got to work it out or don't get married. Marriage takes sacrifice. Pre-marital relationships do too, just not as much sacrifice. Why would you say I need a break just to go date other people? What? You think that's going to be better? A joker that does that is just going to keep going from one relationship to the next. In a marriage it's fine to have fun with friends because it's not like you're splitting up. Breaking up for no reason is pointless.

[arizona13]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I wasn't speaking of marriage, but since it's been brought up, I would have to agree with AKA Monet. Yes, breaks are needed in a marriage. Sometimes we need that alone time, but I think the OP was saying that people will say they need a break, in other words lets break up for a while and then get back together later. My response to that is NO. That's unacceptable. I would tell her don't come back because I won't be there. Like I said before there are no breaks. o.k. here's the deal and I know you guys are going to think I'm this possessive stalker from hell, well I'm not, but I do take relationships very seriously and this is why. When I go out with a woman on the 1st date, I'm not just going out with her just to be going out with her. The physical attraction is the 1st thing that's going to get me to go out with her in the 1st place, and then from that point on is when I'll try to see if she and I are compatible. I've never casual dated. I only date one woman at a time and I expect the same from her. If we're not compatible then move on to the next. I believe in one man for one woman and vise versa for long term to marriage. None of this lets take a break because we're having problems or I think we should meet new people. o.k. Why? I've said this in another thread, but I've been this way since puberty. Seriously, when I was 17, if my ex in highschool didn't cut me a loose, I would still be with her to this day. She thought since I was going to college that I would be more interested in college girls than her. She was two years younger than me. Anyway, she was wrong. I would have never done that. I would have only been interested in her. See, it's problems like this that confuse me. Why break up if you don't have to. If there's no cheating, and no abuse then what's the point. This is why I say there should be no breaks. There's too much of this going on today and I think this is a huge contribution to the high divorce rate. I hate that when people say, "I think we should meet new people." I think we need to take a break." "Why?" "Because it's just not working out." "But why?" See, this is what the conversation is like. There is no reason why. It's flat out stupid, and pointless. That's why I say don't come back. I'll move on to someone who has the same thinking about relationships as I do. In a marriage, you've got to work it out or don't get married. Marriage takes sacrifice. Pre-marital relationships do too, just not as much sacrifice. Why would you say I need a break just to go date other people? What? You think that's going to be better? A joker that does that is just going to keep going from one relationship to the next. In a marriage it's fine to have fun with friends because it's not like you're splitting up. Breaking up for no reason is pointless.

I think I'm in love.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Animate

I agree but I don't think PB was talking in a sense of marriage. Moreso in a pre-marital relationship. I learned early that the whole "breaks" thing wouldn't work most of the time. My ex tried that and I simply responded "What for?". If you want to be in the relationship don't run away from it. Chances are if you have to think twice then the decision has already been made.

Ditto. I agree with you 100%. That's my point. If she has to think about it, then I gotta go. I can't be with a shakey indecisive woman who doens't know what she wants. I don't have time for that mess.