Letters of Ref,help needed

[katestar]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

Isn't this the third thread you've started on this subject?

I had to delete the other because it was not written well. Im sorry if I have bothered you with my thread(s). However, I am trying to be proactive and start Rush Week as well as possible.

[kappa dawg]

What school are you rushing at?

[katestar]

Thank y'all for the wishes of good luck!

First, let me start off by saying that this is in no way directed to you, katestar. This is something I've noticed over a period of time.

I have to throw out a word of caution to PNMs who come onto GC asking for rec help, especially PNMs who cop a snarky attitude with "seasoned" GCers or those who leave questionable posts.

You're basically giving up your anonymity when you give your information out to someone you don't know on GC. You might think "Awesome! I secured an info-only rec!" But how do you know for sure that the woman didn't really write you a "NO REC" and check off the "I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS WOMAN FOR MEMBERSHIP" box?

A lot has changed ever since adpiucf started her Recommendations thread. GC's evolved into something like no other -- and some GCers will stop at nothing to make sure you don't stand a chance at their house if they didn't like something you said on GC.

My advice? If you want a successful rush...lurk for a while and try to remain as anonymous as possible until after rush. Try to get a feel of GC so you know who the "nice people" are. People love rush threads, but you don't have to post just to feed them.

For every "nice" person on GC there are two more snarky ones. JMHO.

This post isn't meant to scare PNMs. I'm just throwing reality out there.

[katestar]

Wow.Alright, I might just not try to find those last letters from here.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by OTW

First, let me start off by saying that this is in no way directed to you, katestar. This is something I've noticed over a period of time.

I have to throw out a word of caution to PNMs who come onto GC asking for rec help, especially PNMs who cop a snarky attitude with "seasoned" GCers or those who leave questionable posts.

You're basically giving up your anonymity when you give your information out to someone you don't know on GC. You might think "Awesome! I secured an info-only rec!" But how do you know for sure that the woman didn't really write you a "NO REC" and check off the "I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS WOMAN FOR MEMBERSHIP" box?

A lot has changed ever since adpiucf started her Recommendations thread. GC's evolved into something like no other -- and some GCers will stop at nothing to make sure you don't stand a chance at their house if they didn't like something you said on GC.

My advice? If you want a successful rush...lurk for a while and try to remain as anonymous as possible until after rush. Try to get a feel of GC so you know who the "nice people" are. People love rush threads, but you don't have to post just to feed them.

For every "nice" person on GC there are two more snarky ones. JMHO.

This post isn't meant to scare PNMs. I'm just throwing reality out there.

Not to mention the great amount of sorority members who think trying to get recs off the internet is a HUGE no-no

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by katestar

I had to delete the other because it was not written well. Im sorry if I have bothered you with my thread(s). However, I am trying to be proactive and start Rush Week as well as possible.

This one's not much better.

[summer_gphib]

I wish you the best of luck. The other posters are correct. Some of us consider writing recs for girls we don't know a HUGE no-no.

I'm not picking on you, I'm sure you are a very nice girl. But I'm writing a letter to recommend you to my sisterhood, and I have no idea if your a stalker, or are psycho. (I'm sure you AREN'T. Just proving a point.) I, personally, don't want stalkers in my sorority.

Good luck in your search. I do wish you the best of luck in your endeavours.

[UGAalum94]

I may be completely wrong, but isn't the idea of an "info only" rec. that there's no expectation that the writer of the rec. knows the woman?

I'd never write an internet rec. anyway, I don't think, but I'd have no problem with someone writing an internet rec. "info. only" rec as long as you had some method of verifying some of the info.

OTW, I'm afraid you are right, but I also kind of wonder how many people really do merge CG with RL enough to send no recs. I sometimes think that people who are otherwise super nice in real life just enjoy a license to snark here.

It's not a chance I'd personally take, and I don't know how much "info. only" recs help a PNM anyway.

[AlphaFrog]

Our form has a box to check that says "I do not personally know this woman, but she was refered by a trusted source".

I don't consider GC a "trusted scource".

[SWTXBelle]

I think the thing to do might be to contact an alumnae group near the poster and give them her information - to do with as they wish. I know that in the past we had alumnae who were associated with certain schools. So if a pnm from East High needed a rec, the East High associated alumna would network to find someone who knew her.

[owlie33]

oh.... wow.

2 Questions -- isn't it to the chapter's benefit to have info on every girl going through recruitment? Wouldn't this help the chapter target PNMs and get to know them before recruitment?

Why not just point the PNM in the right direction, where she can meet an alumna?

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Our form has a box to check that says "I do not personally know this woman, but she was refered by a trusted source".

I don't consider GC a "trusted scource".

Nor do I, but I wouldn't think that checking that box is what's meant by info. only, right? Or is it?

See, I'm not really selfless and nice enough to open myself up to writing a bunch of recs for people who I don't know at all and don't even know people who know. (I do write them in my community, and I'd offer to help chapters find them, but I'm not opening myself up to working for random strangers, sorry OP.) But if such a selfless person really did exist, I've got no problem with her figuring out how to do the info. only rec, or maybe more likely, using the sister search to find a person who might know her in her hometown. As so many creepy people here have apparently demonstrated, it's easier to find people in RL than we want to admit. And you could use that power for good, if you were willing.

[AlphaFrog]

Yes, it's pretty much Info only. It's meant for if your sister's best friend's daughter (for example) needs a Rec, and you're the only person she has a connection to, but you've never met the girl before. I would consider that a "Trusted scource".