Playas till the day we die...

[marquise1911]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Wow. A woman that wants a man to take the lead? Women usually jump down my throat for voicing my opinion on this. I think that's why the divorce rate is so high because men won't take the lead. That's Biblical. It's the man's job to take care of his wife. It's not her job to take care of him. Women aren't designed to take on the load. Women get frustrated and stressed when she feels she has to take on the load. I agree with you all the way. In a marriage a woman has the option if she wants to work or not. I know this sounds crazy but if she doesn't want to work, then the joker she's with needs to do what he's gotta do to make ends meet. Now, of course if she does want to work then that's always a blessing, but she doesn't have to. That's all I've ever seen my dad do, was lead the family. Sons are going to do what they see their fathers do. I was raised to lead. The problem is finding a woman who wants to be led. Today's women say "I can take care of myself. I don't need a man to take care of me." That's part of the problem. Any man that lets his woman lead him, in my book is one sorry poor excuse for a man.

The Bible says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. It also says submit yourselves to one another. That doesn't mean for the man to submit to her lead, it means he is to submit to her needs, and she will submit to his lead.

*Stands up and claps*

Frat you are on point completely. I have always tried my hardest to take the lead in my relationships. But often I find women, especially our own, SIMPLY WON'T FOLLOW. Despite my greatest efforts. I was raised in a home where my father had been the leader but became ill, so my mother and all of us had to step up. I realized how big the role of a husband was. Prior to him being sick I can't remember wanting for anything growing up. But after he became disabled we only had dinner 5/7 days a week. No matter how hard me, mom's, and big sis worked, we couldn't do what he did. I noticed we argued about everything too because for the first time we had to make decisions he used to make.

I say this just to stress the point of what you made clear. MEN ARE MADE TO LEAD. Women and children are made to follow. My father was never a dictator. He never forced us to do anything, honestly we just trusted him and most of the time he was right. I want to be like my father, but there seems to be very few women like my mother and almost no other men like my father for me to use as a support system.

[pinkies up]

Let me just say that it's how a man leads. It takes patience first and in my situation, a lot of small compromises. I thought being led was losing who I was as a strong woman. I soon realized that it's a stronger woman who allows her man to be the man. Don't just say "Me man, you woman" and beat your chest like Tarzan. Explain to her why and SHOW her that you are worthy to lead her and the family. Your decisions should be in the best interest of the family. Sometimes it's the women some of you men seek out to try to make into a wife or a woman of substance. Women aren't without fault either. Sometimes we're afraid that you'll take our meekness or softsides as a sign of weakness, so we build concrete walls to protect ourselves. Once the conversations become more about building together and less about tearing eachother down, our community will once again be something to be admired and not talked about in negative ways.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by marquise1911

*Stands up and claps*

Frat you are on point completely. I have always tried my hardest to take the lead in my relationships. But often I find women, especially our own, SIMPLY WON'T FOLLOW. Despite my greatest efforts. I was raised in a home where my father had been the leader but became ill, so my mother and all of us had to step up. I realized how big the role of a husband was. Prior to him being sick I can't remember wanting for anything growing up. But after he became disabled we only had dinner 5/7 days a week. No matter how hard me, mom's, and big sis worked, we couldn't do what he did. I noticed we argued about everything too because for the first time we had to make decisions he used to make.

I say this just to stress the point of what you made clear. MEN ARE MADE TO LEAD. Women and children are made to follow. My father was never a dictator. He never forced us to do anything, honestly we just trusted him and most of the time he was right. I want to be like my father, but there seems to be very few women like my mother and almost no other men like my father for me to use as a support system.

Nupe that's a good story. That simply has made you a stronger man though.

Man, you hit it on the nose. Women do not like to be led, especially our own. My X was a trip. She did her own thing, and I did mine, because I damn sure was not going to follow her. Wasn't raised to follow a woman. My father always told me there's nothing wrong with listening to your wife/woman, you just have to know when to listen to her. A man that lets his wife/woman lead, will lead that joker right into the gutter, and then blame it on him and the killer thing about it is she would be right. It would be his own fault. Why? Because God DID NOT give the woman the dominion, nor did he give her direction. That was Adams responsibility. Period. Also you can't lead a woman who refuses to be led. I know why women have a hard time submitting, but that goes back to Genesis. I'll explain later.

[KAPPAtivating]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Nupe that's a good story. That simply has made you a stronger man though.

Man, you hit it on the nose. Women do not like to be led, especially our own. My X was a trip. She did her own thing, and I did mine, because I damn sure was not going to follow her. Wasn't raised to follow a woman. My father always told me there's nothing wrong with listening to your wife/woman, you just have to know when to listen to her. A man that lets his wife/woman lead, will lead that joker right into the gutter, and then blame it on him and the killer thing about it is she would be right. It would be his own fault. Why? Because God DID NOT give the woman the dominion, nor did he give her direction. That was Adams responsibility. Period. Also you can't lead a woman who refuses to be led. I know why women have a hard time submitting, but that goes back to Genesis. I'll explain later.

Let the chuch say, "AMEN!"

[marquise1911]

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

Let the chuch say, "AMEN!"

*Takes shoe off and throws it at Pastor PB!*
*High 5's Kappativating*

You better preach nikka!!!!

[OneTimeSBX]

i have no problem with the "wife submissive to her husband" rule. ooh, see that? it said WIFE! that, my friend, is where the line is. i am generally submissive as a fiancee, but not to the level i will be after we say "i do"...

my problem with the "our women" slant a few of you mentioned, is that i hear it too often. it is the answer a lot of times to the "why are you dating outside your race?" question. i dont mind interracial dating at all, mind you, but think its unfair to black women when we are stereotyped in that way. after all the oppression we, as a people, went thru together, you would think you would want a strong black woman. there are so many of "our women" who are without men and raising children for various reasons. you should support that strength in us!

we, in turn, AS WOMEN need to learn that skill of letting you all do your thing. not specifically as black women. oh, and uh, dont tell me every man is MAN ENOUGH to lead a household...hmm?

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Nupe that's a good story. That simply has made you a stronger man though.

Man, you hit it on the nose. Women do not like to be led, especially our own. My X was a trip. She did her own thing, and I did mine, because I damn sure was not going to follow her. Wasn't raised to follow a woman. My father always told me there's nothing wrong with listening to your wife/woman, you just have to know when to listen to her. A man that lets his wife/woman lead, will lead that joker right into the gutter, and then blame it on him and the killer thing about it is she would be right. It would be his own fault. Why? Because God DID NOT give the woman the dominion, nor did he give her direction. That was Adams responsibility. Period. Also you can't lead a woman who refuses to be led. I know why women have a hard time submitting, but that goes back to Genesis. I'll explain later.

So why couldnt you walk by her side WITH her? Would it have killed you?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

So why couldnt you walk by her side WITH her? Would it have killed you?

I didn't say she had to walk behind me, but I will be the head and she is to submit to my lead. Period. If you don't agree with it, that's cool. Good luck in your future relationships.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I didn't say she had to walk behind me, but I will be the head and she is to submit to my lead. Period. If you don't agree with it, that's cool. Good luck in your future relationships.

if shes not behind you, but you are in the lead...please explain!

oh and uhh, do you explain that exactly how you put it when you enter relationships? even my most religious, old fashioned girlfriends would be a bit surprised. it comes off a bit...pushy?

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I didn't say she had to walk behind me, but I will be the head and she is to submit to my lead. Period. If you don't agree with it, that's cool. Good luck in your future relationships.

No, I don’t agree with it but I wasn’t trying to argue with you either. I though it was decent dialogue. You put it out there and I was responding to your opinion. Just looking for some insight.

And for the record, I never said anything about her being behind, I simply asked why you couldn't walk together.