Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[OneTimeSBX]

i. am. eloping.

i just dont understand?? i am confused thru my tears of laughter!

i havent been to any completely disastrous weddings, some of them just had moments where everyone kinda looked at each other like "wha?"

there was the lovely reception with the nazi servers. by the the time we hit the end of the buffet line, i could still see plate. that is a big thing with me: seeing plate. that means you were being super stingy with the food.

another reception was held in a church basement. with grey concrete brick walls. how chic! there was one long decorated table, right up against the wall, which meant everyone had to squeeze to get to their seat. oh, and that table was just for the wedding party. across from them was about 4 rows of chairs. i elbowed my girlfriend and whispered "what, are we going to watch them eat?" i was halfway right. no tables for us guests.

one girl had an absolutely awful soloist, one of her aunts. we STILL laugh at that.

i think my least favorite experience was standing in southern VA, middle of July, 97 degree heat. in a full length bridesmaid gown. my daughter, the bell ringer, looked a complete frizzy mess by the time we got into the church. it had to be 80 inside, so hot that the brides veil was sticking to her forehead, and one of the jr. bridesmaids had to sit down because she felt faint. the church was slam-packed, people were standing in the back and on the sides. other than that it was a very nice wedding.

[AlphaFrog]

One of the wierdest ones I went to was my boss's daughter's Greek wedding. The Greeks all stood outside the church talking until at LEAST a half hour after the service was supposed to start. The bride (who was not Greek) finally sent the ushers outside to tell them that they were locking the church doors in 5 minutes. Then, most of the service was in Greek. And the bride and groom didn't really DO anything, and they didn't SAY anything. They just kind of stood there and watched their own wedding happen. It mostly centered around these two crowns with a ribbon tieing them together that kept being put on their heads, and then switched, and then held up, and then switched again. Finally, at the end, the bride & groom walked around the altar 3 times, and that was that. The reception was extravagant. They had a buffet 6 tables long, including a chocolate fountain...and THEN they had a sit-down dinner. The only red-neck thing that happened the whole night was the bride's family had pre-purchased all of the alcohol that the catering company served, and the groom's family just started grabbing bottles of it as they left. Full, unopened litres of Crown Royal and Grey Goose.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

One of the wierdest ones I went to was my boss's daughter's Greek wedding. The Greeks all stood outside the church talking until at LEAST a half hour after the service was supposed to start. The bride (who was not Greek) finally sent the ushers outside to tell them that they were locking the church doors in 5 minutes. Then, most of the service was in Greek. And the bride and groom didn't really DO anything, and they didn't SAY anything. They just kind of stood there and watched their own wedding happen. It mostly centered around these two crowns with a ribbon tieing them together that kept being put on their heads, and then switched, and then held up, and then switched again. Finally, at the end, the bride & groom walked around the altar 3 times, and that was that. The reception was extravagant. They had a buffet 6 tables long, including a chocolate fountain...and THEN they had a sit-down dinner. The only red-neck thing that happened the whole night was the bride's family had pre-purchased all of the alcohol that the catering company served, and the groom's family just started grabbing bottles of it as they left. Full, unopened litres of Crown Royal and Grey Goose.

maybe they thought they were wedding favors?

(shoot, if i was a tad bit classless, i'd get in on the taking too!)

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

The only red-neck thing that happened the whole night was the bride's family had pre-purchased all of the alcohol that the catering company served, and the groom's family just started grabbing bottles of it as they left. Full, unopened litres of Crown Royal and Grey Goose.

i love it!!

you know, one of my fiances friends always brings his own alcohol. at one reception that was running behind due to the 4 zillion pictures that had to be taken (they are both greeks), the rest of us sat, smelling food and cursing silently to ourselves. this friend decided to liven things up, so he asked my girlfriend for her diaper bag, went to his car, and loaded the thing up with about 4 bottles of crown royal and bacardi. we took turns one by one going to the soda machine, bought a 20 oz pepsi, emptied half, and proceeded to get twisted. it didnt take very long since we all had empty stomachs, and this is the wedding i spoke about early with the buffet nazis. drunk and hungry is not a good combo...

we all (bride and groom included) went to waffle house later that night.

[OneTimeSBX]

@ Blutang...!

[carnation]

My sister-in-law briefly (thank God, only briefly) attended this weird little church before she got married. By the time of her marriage, the jerk minister had moved out of state but she insisted on having him come back and officiate at her wedding.

So when the minister started to walk out with the groomsmen, he stiffened his back and leaned back and started almost duckwalking! And my brother-in-law walked just like him to the altar! (My husband says there's a similar scene in the movie "Arthur".)

Then when the wedding party got up there, the minister said to my SIL, "In biblical days, married ladies were called "Hephzibah'. Can I call you Hephzibah?" and she nodded eagerly.So he did for the rest of the ceremony. I was a bridesmaid and I looked over at my husband and his brother, who were shaking silently with laughter behind the groom. I cut my eyes up at my husband's uncle, the soloist, behind the podium and he was making nauseated faces.

This is the same site of the Mexican wedding I mentioned earlier in the thread and I've been to many weddings there. The other awful thing that happened at one of them: the couple had just said their vows and suddenly somebody is singing "Longer" as if he were one of the Munchkins! And then we realize it's the groom and he's serious! I had to put my face down in my lap for a long time until I knew I wouldn't fall over laughing.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by carnation

The other awful thing that happened at one of them: the couple had just said their vows and suddenly somebody is singing "Longer" as if he were one of the Munchkins! And then we realize it's the groom and he's serious! I had to put my face down in my lap for a long time until I knew I wouldn't fall over laughing.

What is it with brides and grooms wanting to sing to each other at their wedding? I have been to several weddings where they break into song, and they usually don't do very well. Even if you are a great singer, the nerves of the day will get to you (or in one case, the alcohol from the night before). I have only been to one wedding where it turned out okay- but the groom was a vocal performance major in college so he knew what he was doing. The rest were just awful.

If you must sing, save it for the reception!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

What is it with brides and grooms wanting to sing to each other at their wedding? I have been to several weddings where they break into song, and they usually don't do very well. Even if you are a great singer, the nerves of the day will get to you (or in one case, the alcohol from the night before). I have only been to one wedding where it turned out okay- but the groom was a vocal performance major in college so he knew what he was doing. The rest were just awful.

If you must sing, save it for the reception!

i never understood having a bachelor/ette party the NIGHT BEFORE your wedding day - that just seems like a recipe for disaster (ie. the bride above who overslept for her ceremony).

i mean i know bachelor/ette parties are veering from the traditional norm as far as the when, where, and even what... but as much as i enjoy unadulterated plastering in my young adulthood, please spare me the night before i walk down the aisle. i want to be ABLE to walk, not stumble reeking of Johnnie Walker and stale cigarettes. thanks.

[33girl]

I've been to lots & lots & lots of firehall/all purpose room receptions, so those don't fase me at all.

As for the "wha?" moment, one of my sisters got married and the singer at their wedding sang Forever and Ever Amen. This was bad enough but he didn't do a nice acoustic rendition, he sang to a karaoke machine. We all sat there desperately trying not to burst into laughter (hard with this crew). It became obvious later that this had been the a-hole groom's idea.

[adpiucf]

I went to a really extravagant and no-expenses spared wedding for a sorority sister in Carmel. It was a Jewish wedding on a Sunday evening, held at the The Lodge at Pebble Beach. The wedding itself was amazing... my date, however, was not...

This was a guy who had graduated from an Ivy school, good family, fraternity man, and who had up to this point behaved like a total gentleman. Our dates had been really nice and romantic, and I thought he was the cat's meow. We'd been dating for a few months...

How wrong I was...

We had driven up 5 hours from LA to Carmel and stayed overnight from Sat to Sun. He was an absolute gentleman on Saturday... and then came the Sunday wedding... He proceeded to get incredibly wasted at the wedding and had to tell everyone, "You know, I'm not Jewish, but I was Lazer Wolf in Fiddler on the Roof... in high school!"

It gets worse. He got up on our table and sang Fiddler on the Roof songs, until I pulled him down. I realized we had to get out of there. So we left the wedding early for our 5 hour drive home.

It was totally pitch-black dark outside and within the first 30 minutes of the drive, my date rolled down my window and stuck his head out of it-- like a panting dog.

Then something happened. I thought at first, "Is it snowing?"

Nope... we were driving along at about 70 MPH and my date puked out the window... and in the car... and the wind whipped around and the puke ended up all over my car, ME, my hair, you name it.

To make matters worse, when I dropped this loser off at this place in Santa Monica, he tried to kiss me goodnight!

I dropped the car off for detailing the next morning and tipped the cleaners really well!

"Lazer Wolf" sent me an apology email, but I never spoke to him again!

[VandalSquirrel]

The worst one I know about, I didn't attend. Long dramatic story, but a girl who had been one of my bffs all through junior and high school decided to get married. I was living thousands of miles away in another state going to college, and never met the guy. I remember she sent me a letter all excited about the wedding, but then put conditions on me to give me an invite. She accused me of not accepting the guy, blah blah blah, and to be honest I never met him because when I was home visiting she blew me off to spend time with him, to the point I was home for winter break three weeks, and never saw her or met the dude. However she invited my family, who didn't go because she was just being a freako.

For all the conditions she put on me, and her other general ridiculousness, she got divorced, HA HA HA!

So on to the wedding. She wore a lingerie nightgown ensemble from Frederick's of Hollywood as a dress. Her flowers weren't fresh, they weren't silk, oh no, they were plastic and designed by a very tragic drag queen. The bridesmaids wore black, some lace, others leather. She gave the guests bad directions and they got lost (it was outdoors in a park), and neglected to mention the fee to get into the park. The food was a BBQ (nothing wrong with that), but she also made it a potluck, but people weren't aware of it so they didn't bring anything. And last, but not least, a skunk sprayed not once, but twice. Her reception then matched her attitude and behavior, it stank!

I recently attended a sister's wedding at a very classy resort at Lake Coeur d'Alene. The invitation said semi-formal/cocktail and it was on a golf course (which has a dresscode anyway). Most of the guys were there with a lady, and and least in my case, he was a real trooper and went with me to buy a tie and shirt to coordinate with my dress. The other husbands and boyfriends were in similar outfits, and we all looked lovely. However two guys showed up, one in CARGO SHORTS and the other in JEANS, sporting a University hooded sweatshirt, wtf? I knew it was bad when our dates said "I managed to put on a collared shirt and a tie, that's just tacky" and keep in mind, these are Idaho boys who drive trucks, kill their own food, and many have wardrobes straight out of Cabela's, so to hear them crack on any guy was just hysterical. The wedding was awesome and classy, but those two guys cracked us up, and hearing Idaho guys discuss it made it funnier. Oh and at the end of the night a storm came up and blew the tent away, but we were drunk and didn't care. I think the worst thing that weekend was running into not one, not two, not three, but FOUR guys I have dated, and I've only dated five while living here. The fifth one I had seen the week before.

[Still BLUTANG]

from a post I made earlier in the "ghetto weddings" thread:

Oh my goodness. Y'all have some funny stories. Here's mine:

My college roomate grew up in the same town I attended school. She still kept in touch with her people from high school who didn't go to college or remained in the area, so i kinda "hung out" with all of them when i wanted to get away from the campus crowd. SO.... our 1st year the roomate's ex-boyfriend made it known that he was going to try to reconcile with her, but she gave him no play. His retaliation: MARRYING ANOTHER GIRL THEY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.

No one took them seriously, so my roomate was like, I'll do anything to get u out of my life In about two weeks time, all the planning was done. We throw the girl a bridal shower and a bachelorette party because we were bored one weekend, and these two fools get married the next day in the bride's parents home. She comes down the stairs to K-Ci and JoJo's "All My Life" and is wearing her PROM DRESS... i lie to you not! the prom pictures were still on the mantle / altar. Her father officiates the wedding and that doesn't seem to bad right? WRONG!

This man stops the wedding to ask if the groom knows Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior... and we waited for him to respond.

and waited
.
.
.

and waited
.
.
.

I was in there CRYIN b/c the groom had this look on his face like, umm... can i get back to u on that? So after a definite pause, the bride's father / minister just starts praying and in the prayer says that this marriage will not be accepted in the Kingdom unless the groom repents and opens up his heart! We prayed for like 30 minutes until the groom finally realizes that this man was NOT going to finish the ceremony until he prayed the "Prayer of Salvation"... we were in the living room / church CRYING b/c we were trying to hold our laughter and the bride's father/ minister and other family members thought we were "moved by the Spirit"... after the wedding - the Bride gets into an argument with her father, gets her things from her bedroom, and declares, "I'm leaving! Don't ask when I'll be back!" and storms out of the house. Now we were laughing out loud and i had to run to the car b/c this mess was the absolute worst! So obviously, there is no reception. what do we do after the wedding you ask? We drive through the city (a caravan of like 5 cars full of college students and recent H.S. graduates) running red lights, honking our horns and blinking our lights, and we end up at the groom's apartment. Before we walk in the door he was like, "Hold on y'all, I promised my wife i would do this for her"... the groom runs into the house and turns on the stereo to DMX - Get At Me Dog and the proceeds to carry his bride over the threshold. We all enter the house and the newlyweds were like, "Make yourselves comfortable. Y'all can check the refigerator or order some pizza or something. We're about to have our honeymoon."

I had honestly blocked this ENTIRE weekend from memory until i started reading these posts. Thanks GC for giving me a good laugh for the rest of the week!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

"We're about to have our honeymoon."

There are no words...

[carnation]

OK, due to a recent wedding, I had to bump this. Plus--it's wedding season, give us your stories!

[austingammaphi]

My cousin's first wedding (of three)--took place in a warehouse that was in the process of conversion into a praise cathedral. Horrible acoustics, bad mics, never-ending music, and the bridal party and actual ceremony were lost in the midst of it all. The reception was in a slightly smaller warehouse adjacent to the first, with minimal decor, not enough chairs for the elderly family members of the bride and groom, much less for anyone else, and Cheez-its, dried fruit packets, and (I am not making this up) Hawaiian Punch poured straight from the can into bathroom-sized Dixie cups. The cake, which was a simple sheet cake from a local store bakery, was very good, but because it was the best thing on the table, it was gone before everyone was able to have some.

The bride's mother, who had tried desperately to get bride to let her handle the arrangements, or at least let her spend a little more on more elegant refreshments, and chairs, was mortified over the slim pickings, and infuriated when she learned that the groom and his family had invited the entire congregation of their church to the festivities without informing the bride's family, which accounted for the much larger numbers than expected. Everyone in our family left with an empty stomach and a headache, and my never-married 92-year-old great-aunt summed it up best: when asked if she'd had a good time, she replied, "Oh, it was lovely, but when my turn comes, I think I'll do things a bit differently..."

(The bride--my second cousin--later cheated on Husband #1 with the father of Child #2, dumped him, married and divorced Husband #2/Father of Child #3 within a year, and has been married to H#3/FofC#4 for about three years now...)