Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[ForeverRoses]

Ah the memories. My husband has a friend from college, we'll call her "Squeeky". Anyway, Squeeky married her college boyfriend who decided half-way through college to become a minister, so he dropped out and went to the seminary.
Their wedding took place in the chapel at the seminary and the director of the seminary was the officiant. During the vows he told Squeeky that now that she was entering the bonds of marriage, it was her duty to submit to her husband's wishes. At this point my own husband had to lean over to ask me to release his hand because I was squeezing it so hard it was about to break.
I remember Squeeky had to make all kinds of vows but her husband only had to pledge to love and honor her. I distinctly remember that Squueky was vowing things and her husband was pledging them. Not sure why the difference in language.

Anyway, the reception was in a hall at the seminary, and when we get there, all we see is a cake. After standing around for about half an hour a guy comes in with a boombox that looked straight out of 1987 (this was in 1998) and puts a Christian music tape on- and not contemporary Christian, but very traditional old-school stuff. Finally the bride and groom arrive, they cut the cake (no mints, no nuts) and someone pulls out some 2-litres. Everyone helps themselves to cake and we sit down, waiting for the reception to "begin", then the throw the bouquet. No garter toss- against seminary rules- it's considered "lewd". Also no first dance or any dancing for that matter becuase it's also against seminary rules. So about 15 minutes after the cake was cut, all the guests were leaving.

So cut to two years later when my husband and I are getting married. We get an e-mail from Squeeky stating that she cannot come to the wedding because it is in a Catholic Church. But no hard feelings, right? And she sends us a gift- a candle holder and candle. It's pretty, but when we were opening the gifts at the brunch the day after our wedding, one of my husband's groomsmen mentions that the candle holder looks very familiar. Turns out it was the gift that he had given Squeeky.

[BetteDavisEyes]

Here's one that still makes me laugh.

A friend of mine went to a very fancy & gorgeous wedding at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove. I remember she showed me the invitation and it stated that the wedding was black-tie so of course, she is dressed up & her boyfriend is in a tux. She told me it was an absolutely stunning wedding ceremony.
Then the reception started. It was in the basketball gym of their local rec center. She was told that there would be a buffet so after the ceremony, she's thinking they'll be having some sort of fancy dinner but instead, the guests were each given one Styrofoam cup with their name put on it in Sharpie marker b/c there were not enough cups to go around so you better not lose it. And it got worse. For "dinner" the guests stood in a buffet line so that they could be given a plastic plate with 8 ritz crackers (no joke) and there was a HUGE wedge of cheddar cheese that some old lady was giving each guest 2 small pieces from it. They also got a little bit of fruit. They got one ladle of punch and the wedding cake was a sheetcake with the bride & groom's picture on it. That's it.

My friend couldn't believe it and when she told me, I couldn't stop laughing.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I remember Squeeky had to make all kinds of vows but her husband only had to pledge to love and honor her. I distinctly remember that Squueky was vowing things and her husband was pledging them. Not sure why the difference in language.

It's a biblical thing. Most churches don't take it to that extreme, but the language is in First Corinthians, I believe. I don't remember the exact wording - as we did our vows in Spanish.

Also, if you've ever read the Five Languages of Love, it makes more sense.