Smaller Groups-how can you make PNMs feel chosen?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by carnation

I received a pm from a GCer who's a member of a smaller group on a big campus. Without outing her group, she wanted me to ask y'all how they could make PNMs feel like they were "chosen", not like they were all their group could get. She said that frequently they're in the position of having to ask back girls who have cut them and that frankly, a lot of girls who are crying at their prefs aren't doing it from happiness.

So GCers, how can they make their guests feel special and not let them think they're the "leftovers" in recruitment?

Did the sorority vote to invite these rushees back? Did these rushees have some good conversations with these women (in the sorority's mind, anyway)?

If so - then they WERE chosen!! Maybe the girls didn't choose the sorority, but the sorority chose them. Don't get hung up on the fact that they're "stuck" at your chapter. You don't know what they're feeling inside. Maybe they're a triple legacy to XYZ and got cut from XYZ, but it's not that they dislike you, it's that they have to tell their 98 year old granny they aren't going to be an XYZ.

However, if the chapter is being forced by whoever have you in authority to invite back members that everyone hated and that the chapter DID cut - then that's another matters entirely. I don't care what your advisor says, I don't care what national says, I don't care what Panhellenic or the rho chi or your rush chair says. If no one in the chapter could find anything redeeming in a woman, DO NOT HAVE HER BACK. It creates feelings like Carnation's above scenario. If this woman is such a hidden jewel, she can come to a COB event or two and maybe she'll make a better impression.

I think some women get so distressed about voting in general (especially if they're in a smaller chapter) that they let people off too easily. You're not voting on whether to ever talk to this woman again or to shun her from the campus or something. You're voting on whether you're going to spend a large part of your college years with this person and possibly live with her. If you don't want to do that, then don't vote to the contrary.

Just because your chapter is smaller - don't settle for crap. Your crap may be someone else's shining star, and vice versa. Invite and cultivate the women at rush that you like for themselves, not just because they're cute or what have you.