Too fat to recruit: or, DePauw, the Sequel

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

Oh, I'm not from a small school.

There's a very strong tradition at many big campuses too. And tradition is often a function of reputation earned or unearned.

Frills, no frills, dress up, dress casually, I don't think you're ever going to really get people to consider what you want them to.

But you can make it less wasteful, and that's a positive end right there.

Exactly! Just think about some of the money these chapters waste on recruitment, when they could use the money for something worthwhile, or something that furthers their deeper purpose!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Is that because your daughters join only the BEST sororities?
This statement from you doesn't surprise me, because when it comes to rush you are pretty shallow.

Well, since you don't know me from Adam, you wouldn't know. I already said that I didn't agree with what I'd observed but I was, like lyrelyre said, calling them as I saw them.

Rather than try to start something with an ad hominem attack, why don't you pm me if you have any issues with me, whoever you are?

[lyrelyre]

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

To judge a sorority based on the reputation it has, the amount of members in the chapter, and how long it has been around IS shallow.

She wasn't judging the sorority at all, she was simply commenting that others were likely to judge them. Stating that others are likely to be shallow does not make you shallow. She was stating what she felt was likely to happen.

[FSUZeta]

now i know that none of us know this young woman, or her chapter, but i would tend to guess that looks were not the only thing the decision to ask her not to participate in recruitment was based on.

first,you can bet that each npc sorority headquarters closely monitored the depauw situation. noone wants to live through a similar situation.

second, if this young woman was the star rusher in her chapter, i believe that they would want her front and center, no matter her shape or size. the best rusher in the chapter i advise is a large young woman. i wanted this sister to rush the girls that the entire chapter had as rush crushes, because she has a wonderful personality and is a great conversationlist-she could talk the paint off a wall. i made sure that she preffed someone at every pref. party. everyone she rushed joined. i'm just sorry that she graduated in may!

[UGAalum94]

Recognizing how something works isn't the same as liking how it works or agreeing with it.

[carnation]

What they said!

[kathykd2005]

Doesn't that stink when that happens? I felt the same way when the sister that recruited ME graduated--she was a year older. Also, she happened to be a bigger girl, with a personality just as vivacious and big! The good thing is, hopefully some of the younger sisters learned from the sister you are talking about!!! I know I learned a lot from the particular lady of which I am speaking. She rocked (and still does)!!!

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

now i know that none of us know this young woman, or her chapter, but i would tend to guess that looks were not the only thing the decision to ask her not to participate in recruitment was based on.

first,you can bet that each npc sorority headquarters closely monitored the depauw situation. noone wants to live through a similar situation.

second, if this young woman was the star rusher in her chapter, i believe that they would want her front and center, no matter her shape or size. the best rusher in the chapter i advise is a large young woman. i wanted this sister to rush the girls that the entire chapter had as rush crushes, because she has a wonderful personality and is a great conversationlist-she could talk the paint off a wall. i made sure that she preffed someone at every pref. party. everyone she rushed joined. i'm just sorry that she graduated in may!

[KSUViolet06]

My chapter had girls in it who were plus sized. We didn't hide them. I don't think it affects us in recruitment because I don't think any other chapter did either.

Due to our school's roster policy, we couldn't hide girls during recruitment if we wanted to.

Our Panhellenic had a Rho Chi come around and physically count the number of sorority members in the party and check it against that chapter's roster. If the numbers didn't match, you either had to explain why or risk having to go in front of Judicial Board for having an incorrect roster.

I think this was instituted moreso to keep sororities from lying on their rosters than it does with hiding plus sized girls (sororities that were at total, would not update their university rosters so they could continue to recruit in the spring).

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Let's drop the debate about whether rushees care about fat girls and whether you want superficial rushees in your chapter, and work from the following premise:

Hiding the fat girls in back will ensure more rushees pledge your chapter.

If you know that to be true, is it worth it to hurt a sister's feelings? My answer is yes. The only way for a small chapter to recover at a big school is to increase numbers.

I know I will get a lot of responses about quality over quantity, but you simply can not be a strong chapter if you are much smaller than the others. You don't have the money, you don't have the number of women volunteering their time as officers, and you don't have the presence on campus.

It's unfortunate, but it has to be done.

[kathykd2005]

It doesn't HAVE to be done, at all. There are other avenues of dealing with the situation, aside from the concept of "quality over quantity." It's just plain cruel--can you imagine if it happened to YOU? What if you were the person who was overweight and hidden by the same sisters who professed to LOVE you? What if the sister had a medical condition that caused her to gain weight, or something else medically wrong? Or, what if the chapter that was suffering was YOURS? Think about it--I doubt you would view it in the same way...

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Let's drop the debate about whether rushees care about fat girls and whether you want superficial rushees in your chapter, and work from the following premise:

Hiding the fat girls in back will ensure more rushees pledge your chapter.

If you know that to be true, is it worth it to hurt a sister's feelings? My answer is yes. The only way for a small chapter to recover at a big school is to increase numbers.

I know I will get a lot of responses about quality over quantity, but you simply can not be a strong chapter if you are much smaller than the others. You don't have the money, you don't have the number of women volunteering their time as officers, and you don't have the presence on campus.

It's unfortunate, but it has to be done.

[Soliloquy]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Yes, yes, and YES to everything you said. I'm glad to see such a mature point of view from a PNM. Kudos!

Thank you! I pride myself on my maturity

But really, I think I am just speaking the truth. I hope that there are more people who will share similar views as I do when I go through recruitment (in just two more months!!!).

[pialpha92]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Let's drop the debate about whether rushees care about fat girls and whether you want superficial rushees in your chapter, and work from the following premise:

Hiding the fat girls in back will ensure more rushees pledge your chapter.

If you know that to be true, is it worth it to hurt a sister's feelings? My answer is yes. The only way for a small chapter to recover at a big school is to increase numbers.

But I don't think this occurring is exclusive to struggling chapters or bigger campuses. Unfortunately, there are shallow chapters (or advisors) across the spectrum. I think it is sad that some chapters will hide members 'in the kitchen' based solely on superficial reasons. It is one thing if the member asks to be there - quite another to tell them they are not good enough.

If they are good enough to be your sister the other 51 weeks of the year they should be good enough to be your sister during recruitment.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by pialpha92

If they are good enough to be your sister the other 51 weeks of the year they should be good enough to be your sister during recruitment.

Hear, hear!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by pialpha92

If they are good enough to be your sister the other 51 weeks of the year they should be good enough to be your sister during recruitment.

Exactly. If something about a person concerns the chapter SO much that she is not allowed to participate in recruitment, then she shouldn't have been bid in the first place.

In any of these "they hid/expelled me because I was overweight" stories, I am generally inclined to believe that there is more to it than just the girl's weight that led to the chapter's decision.

[bluefish81]

I have to think that there's more to this than just the member's weight, i.e. perhaps she can't recruit very well. How many times do we personally remember or have read a story about a PNM that went to XYZ chapter and they had to carry the conversation? Thus had a bad impression of the chapter and cut it as result. I'm not in favor of having women of any size sit out, but I think it's important to put the best recruiters out there, especially if you're trying to help a sinking ship. There's a lot of other things to be done during recruitment besides just talking to PNMs.