dating a frat boy

Engelwood · #1 06-08-2007, 10:59 PM

Well, each person is different but I'll tell you what I know. I'm a fraternity man, but I don't consider myself any different than your average guy other than the morals and convictions I hold dear.

I've never really had a problem staying committed. If it feels good, then go for it. You'll know if he feels the same way. My advice would be to stay in touch though the facebook, on the phone, or whatever you guys do.

If he's a stand up individual then you guys will be fine. Even if you don't stay together, don't get emo and paint all fraternity men with the same brush. In my opinion, the Greek system is like a microcosm of the greater population. You'll have your share off morons, but there are good people out there.

Be sure to tell him how you feel as simply as you can. As I man I can confidently say that we're not mind readers.

#2 06-08-2007, 11:15 PM

You could start by NOT calling him a "frat boy".

James · #3 06-09-2007, 03:55 AM

Frat boy = human being. So its pretty much the same as other boys.

One real date? Maybe have higher expectations of how you should be treated. Hanging out is not the same as dating.

rufio · #4 06-09-2007, 01:45 PM

frat boy's are all cookie cutter right? therefore we should all the same uniform answer to her question.

AlexMack · #5 06-09-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rufio

frat boy's are all cookie cutter right? therefore we should all the same uniform answer to her question.

Yes...yes you are :P

WVU alpha phi · #6 06-10-2007, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

One real date? Maybe have higher expectations of how you should be treated. Hanging out is not the same as dating.

Agreed, but she mentioned they're freshman.. I think most freshman year relationships consist of hanging out in dorms and going out/meeting up at the bar, unless you happened to be dating an older guy.

LilBlueEyes · #7 06-10-2007, 07:40 PM

hey everyone, thanks for your responses...and to the last one, i'm also an alpha phi

thanks sister. and yeah, all frosh year relationships seem to be like ours, and also ones in where neither person has a car which can suckk

so we've been talking, about once a week...keeping in touch, so all's good i guess

sorry, shouldn't have used term "Frat boy" i did that because i was wondering if him and i being greek, and extremely social people would put extra tension on a relationship...??

oh and his parents have decided that he's not allowed to take his car to school next year...he has a little sister who will be using it to drive herself and their little brother to high school since both parents work...awesome

but i will have a car next year....would it be awkward if i picked him up when we went out to dinner? i mean, his house is on my way ... would this bother guys?

oh and is there any way to go about rekindling dating...like inviting him over to watch heroes (which was something we did every week last semester) and seeing how it goes from there? or just see how he acts at parties/ mixers?

Kevin · #8 06-10-2007, 07:55 PM

You're in college. Plenty of fish in the sea.

If a guy tells you that you're hurting his grades as a pretext for dumping you, this is a subtle way of him telling you that he's not that into you. If he was really into you, c'mon... grades??? In college, we have a lot of time on our hands. If he wanted to make time for you, he could. He doesn't. Take the hint.

LilBlueEyes · #9 06-10-2007, 11:44 PM

could bea pretext for dumping me ....but a few days later, why would he call me and tell me to come over and meet his family when they came to pick him up at the end of the year and call me to come out with him and his boys on his last night as a freshman...he could have easily not done both...

oh and much earlier he called me clingy and said he wanted to stop seeing me once to a mutual friend when there was about 2 1/2 months of school left...

i assumed that meant we were over.....didn't feel like we need to talk about whether or not i was actually clingy....so i assumed we'd just stop talking, etc. and go our own ways amicably

but he called me apologized a ton saying he was just drunk and he likes me a lot but is afraid cause his last girlfriend did a number on him and she's the only relationship he's had but he didn't wanna lose me,etc...so i decided to look to his actions instead of words...and he really stepped up his game and seemed genuinely sorry

bottom line...he confuses me, any help any one?

cheerfulgreek · #10 06-11-2007, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Frat boy = human being. So its pretty much the same as other boys.

One real date? Maybe have higher expectations of how you should be treated. Hanging out is not the same as dating.

I totally agree.

ladygreek · #11 06-12-2007, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

You could start by NOT calling him a "frat boy".

That was my first reaction!

LilBlueEyes · #12 06-13-2007, 12:49 AM

thanks for the imput guys...and yeah, he made the comment about me affecting his grades the nigth before his advanced calc exam

one last question

the boy and i talked over im two sundays ago and the end of our convo went:

me: well, i have to run, dinner with the girls, call me sometime?
him: yeah
him: Have fun, ttyl

...

and exactly one week later, after no call yet, i come home to find some ims from him saying "hey you there?...no response, so guess not...but, call me sometime! good night"

why in the friggen world would he tell me to call him, after he promised to call me and failed to do so?

i know his ex of over two years did a number on him and took him on a rollercoaster ride of a relationship...but it's not that hard to pick up a phone...

Kevin · #13 06-13-2007, 12:59 AM

It's clear you have decided against most of the advice offered to you here

Good luck with your frat boy.

PeppyGPhiB · #14 06-13-2007, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilBlueEyes

and exactly one week later, after no call yet, i come home to find some ims from him saying "hey you there?...no response, so guess not...but, call me sometime! good night"

why in the friggen world would he tell me to call him, after he promised to call me and failed to do so?

i know his ex of over two years did a number on him and took him on a rollercoaster ride of a relationship...but it's not that hard to pick up a phone...

Do you still not get it?

If he liked you, he'd call you. He'd pursue you. Look behind you...is there anyone chasing you?

I probably should not be giving you anymore advice since you seem to be ignoring everything that everyone on here has told you, but it just drives me nuts to see women act this way. Stop making up excuses for why the guy *might* not be calling you, taking you out, etc. A guy that likes you in a serious way will do more than leave you lame IMs. I mean, doesn't it make you pissed that he doesn't even think you're worth a phone call? Cut this guy off!

rufio · #15 06-13-2007, 03:45 AM

alot of people just say call me later or i'll call you as a passing phrase, or a good bye phrase. a good amount of time if you ask someone why they didnt call they'll respond with "was i supposed to call you?" its like when you tell people see you later, it doesnt mean they're going to make a commitment to literally see you later. i allways say i'll call you later to people then never do. is it bc im an a-hole...most likely, but most of the time its bc i dont realize i've said it.

oh yeah, he obviously took the time to IM you meaning he doesnt not like you.

i think you're taking little things and blowing them out of proportion. also, i like how you're finding sage advice from strangers on a greek message board bc you thought all fraternity men think alike. i dunno, call me mean but i think you're a big cup of crazy.