"Why Did You Decide to Join ...That?"

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by neosoul

AMEN!

and may the god that you worship give you the common sense you seem to be lacking

"Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing." Proverbs 12:18 (NLT)

[RedVelvet]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

"Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing." Proverbs 12:18 (NLT)

Never mind

[ZChi4Life]

I feel really bad for anyone else that wants to post in this thread about the actual topic...

[Little32]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Then ignore her.

Which is basically what I have chosen to do. So we are in agreement.

Though when I initially responded, I was actually trying to help her--though clearly she did not take it as such.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

True this is a message board and people can post what they want all they want, but I think it is sad and silly to see educated Black women attack each other over issues like this.

Sorta like your tit for tat with DSTChaos?

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

I didn't make it sound like anything. That's just the way you chose to interpret what I wrote. But, that's fine. Now, in the context in which I was speaking, I would understand why a woman in this situation would feel as if she were being punished or penalized for not being a full-time student...

I gave you some advice many posts ago about leaving this thread alone because all of the negative back and forth communication is not helpful to you and what you hoped to accomplish by coming to gc. Sometimes regardless of what others are doing (right or wrong), we have to be accountable for our own actions. I looked back thru these posts to see where things went wrong. I wanted to see what ticked everybody off and I found it...it was your ATTITUDE Roz! You didn't come here like someone who was humble (and being humble is not weak or passive) and just wanted to learn more. From the very beginning, you got DEFENSIVE about what others were saying when they were only voicing their opinions...and you have a smart mouth and I'm sure you know it. Go back to post #108 and see for yourself and see the bolded text above (your response to ladygreek). You were going toe to toe with people instead of accepting what they had to say and like one big NPHC family who wasn't going to let their sisters and brothers be "attacked," everybody jumped on you. And that's really what happened because I was reading thru these posts thinking why in the he** don't people care for Roz...what set them off? I mean we've had many threads with conversations about the topic of new orgs that didn't end up like this. As a matter of fact, this thread started out positive with new org members just expressing their opinions back and forth but you came in and changed the entire tone of the thread because you were so DEFENSIVE from the very beginning. And if you know anything about working with people, you know that NO ONE responds well to defensiveness. So when you got defensive, they got defensive. I urge you to go back and review the posts and you'll see.

Understand that I'm not trying to jump on you and act like you're the only one at fault here but usually when someone feels attacked by many, it's because they also had a hand in planning their own "attack," whether they recognize it or not. Just start over Roz. Leave this thread alone and leave the history behind this thread alone and introduce yourself in a new thread without getting DEFENSIVE. While we may get sarcastic and "snarky" at times, the NPHC members on greekchat (from what I've observed) are good peeps who only want to learn, challenge, explore, and help, but you have to approach and respond to them in the correct manner or the manner in which their accustomed. That's why it's best for new people to observe a little before jumping in and starting to post. Again, I wish you all the best with your org.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Sorta like your tit for tat with DSTChaos?

We all have our spats from time to time but you have to know when to cut them off and let them go. We're one big family remember? Sistergreeks Unite!

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

I didn't make it sound like anything. That's just the way you chose to interpret what I wrote. But, that's fine. Now, in the context in which I was speaking, I would understand why a woman in this situation would feel as if she were being punished or penalized for not being a full-time student.

Generally speaking; however, waiting to join an alumnae chapter is not a punishment and may actually be a better option for older women. But, the point I'm trying to make is that if someone has genuine interest in an org, and but for them being a part-time or online student, they would be accepted into the organization, GET THEM WHILE THEY ARE GUNG-HO.

Give that enthusiasm time to wane, due to life changes and et cetera, and you may never get them back. No matter how much admiration and interest a woman may have in any particular org, the sacrifices she is willing to make to become a part of that organization will change or fluctuate over time, depending on what is going on in her life. If someone is made to wait to join an alumnae chapter, there may come a point where even though her interest is still strong, the re-arrangements she would have to make in her life to join, X number of years later, may not be worth it. Many women get to the point where they say, "bump it", and toss that dream into the "dried up like a raisin in the sun" pile. That would be a needless loss for an organization that needs new members to perpetuate itself.

Edited to add: But, if that's the route the established orgs decide to go, more power to them. Theta Gamma Pi will be here to accept those women - if they meet our criteria - that don't want to wait to join an alumnae chapter. There's room for everybody.

Yes, I know that being an adult in age does not translate to being mature. However, I chose a minimum age of 24 years old for a reason that had nothing to do with mental maturity level. I was trying to be fair by staying in line with the age cutoff most colleges and universities use to identify non-traditional students. My personal preference is an older minimum age, but this is not a "vanity" project and it's not all about me. Principle won over preference.

I gave you some advice many posts ago about leaving this thread alone because all of the negative back and forth communication is not helpful to you and what you hoped to accomplish by coming to gc. Sometimes regardless of what others are doing (right or wrong), we have to be accountable for our own actions. I looked back thru these posts to see where things went wrong. I wanted to see what ticked everybody off and I found it...it was your ATTITUDE Roz! You didn't come here like someone who was humble (and being humble is not weak) and just wanted to learn more. From the very beginning, you got DEFENSIVE about what others were saying when they were only voicing their opinions...and you have a smart mouth and I'm sure you know it. Go back to post #108 and see for yourself and see the bolded text above. You were going toe to toe with people instead of accepting what they had to say and like one big NPHC family who wasn't going to let their sisters and brothers be "attacked," everybody jumped on you. And that's really what happened because I was reading thru these posts thinking why in the he** don't people care for Roz...what set them off? I mean we've had many threads with conversations about the topic of new orgs that didn't end up like this. As a matter of fact, this thread started out positive with new org members just expressing their opinions back and forth but you came in and changed the entire tone of the thread because you were so DEFENSIVE from the very beginning. And if you know anything about working with people, you know that NO ONE responds well to defensiveness. So when you got defensive, they got defensive. I urge you to go back and review the posts and you'll see.

Understand that I'm not trying to jump on you and act like you're the only one at fault here but usually when someone feels attacked by many, it's because they also had a hand in planning their own "attack," whether they recognize it or not. Just start over Roz. Leave this thread alone and leave the history behind this thread alone and introduce yourself in a new thread without getting DEFENSIVE. While we may get sarcastic and "snarky" at times, the NPHC members on greekchat (from what I've observed) are good peeps who only want to learn, challenge, explore, and help, but you have to approach and respond to them in the correct manner or the manner in which their accustomed. That's why it's best for new people to observe a little before jumping in and starting to post. Again, I wish you all the best with your org.

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

I gave you some advice many posts ago about leaving this thread alone because all of the negative back and forth communication is not helpful to you and what you hoped to accomplish by coming to gc. Sometimes regardless of what others are doing (right or wrong), we have to be accountable for our own actions. I looked back thru these posts to see where things went wrong. I wanted to see what ticked everybody off and I found it...it was your ATTITUDE Roz! You didn't come here like someone who was humble (and being humble is not weak) and just wanted to learn more. From the very beginning, you got DEFENSIVE about what others were saying when they were only voicing their opinions...and you have a smart mouth and I'm sure you know it. Go back to post #108 and see for yourself and see the bolded text above (your response to ladygreek). You were going toe to toe with people instead of accepting what they had to say and like one big NPHC family who wasn't going to let their sisters and brothers be "attacked," everybody jumped on you. And that's really what happened because I was reading thru these posts thinking why in the he** don't people care for Roz...what set them off? I mean we've had many threads with conversations about the topic of new orgs that didn't end up like this. As a matter of fact, this thread started out positive with new org members just expressing their opinions back and forth but you came in and changed the entire tone of the thread because you were so DEFENSIVE from the very beginning. And if you know anything about working with people, you know that NO ONE responds well to defensiveness. So when you got defensive, they got defensive. I urge you to go back and review the posts and you'll see.

A couple of points. On the quote of mine that you bolded, did you read a few posts down my response to her after she called me on the carpet about that comment? Seems everybody wants to overlook the fact that I apologized to her and let her know that I really was NOT trying to be rude or a smart-behind. So, that brings back the point you made about each of us only being responsible for our own actions. I owned up to mine with her about that comment. Whether or not she chose to accept it is on her. I don't think she did, even though I really meant it, because she kept insulting me (subtly, but still), anyway.

Also, let's not overlook the fact that in other posts I have admitted that I bear blame about what has happened here. The point of contention is that people want me to take the blame for EVERYTHING that's happened, and I will not. Because as you have already stated, I'm only responsible for what I did; therefore, I will only own up to my part in this, which I thought I was doing by admitting that I "jacked some things up, too" and also by saying in a different post that I was not completely innocent in all that has happened here. But, those admissions have been ignored. That's just further proof for me that I never had a chance with some of these people.

You focused on what I did to make people angry in this thread. But, the root of the problem goes back to my very first days on GC. All was well until I made a faux pas and asked a naive question about some kind of "stance". Someone came at me in what I felt was a condescending and haughty manner, and made some demands of me. I told them I found their approach rude and that I would not be doing what they demanded of me. That touched off a firestorm aimed at me. Apparently, being a neophyte I was disobedient to a prophyte and didn't know "my place". I'm sure my attitude of "whatever, this is just a messageboard on the Internet" did not help matters, and I will take the hit for that.

So, when I talk about how I've been treated on here, I'm not just referencing this thread. I'm talking about from Day 1. So, that might be why many think I'm overreacting about what's happened just in this thread, and thinking about it from their POV, I can see how they would think that, if we limit things to this thread alone. But, again, I'm talking about the entirety of my experience here on GC.

Understand that I'm not trying to jump on you and act like you're the only one at fault here but usually when someone feels attacked by many, it's because they also had a hand in planning their own "attack," whether they recognize it or not. Just start over Roz. Leave this thread alone and leave the history behind this thread alone and introduce yourself in a new thread without getting DEFENSIVE.

That's so optimistic. I'm usually an optimistic person, and as much as I would like that, I don't think it's possible. People here have proven that they have their minds made up about me and aren't willing to give me a chance. And, truthfully, even if they said they were willing, I wouldn't trust them after being attacked on a personal level. They could have made their points without making personal attacks. Sarcasm and snarkyness is one thing, but personally attacking someone is something else, altogether. I didn't make it personal, I didn't take it there. On that point, they drew first blood. And, even if I did start over, if I then ignored the posts from those folks who did personally attack me, and only talk to those that didn't, that would cause another issue and make people mad all over again. This is just something I can't win for losing, so I don't even want to expend the energy to try. I know that's not the right attitude for me to have, especially as a Christian, but I can't help the way I feel right now. I know some people are going to find a way to use that against me, too.. but I'm past caring at this point. I just want all this negativity to end and for everybody to move on.

While we may get sarcastic and "snarky" at times, the NPHC members on greekchat (from what I've observed) are good peeps who only want to learn, challenge, explore, and help, but you have to approach and respond to them in the correct manner or the manner in which their accustomed. That's why it's best for new people to observe a little before jumping in and starting to post. Again, I wish you all the best with your org.

Thank you for your well wishes. As to the rest of what you said, they may be good people, but after all the personal attacks that have been hurled my way, I just don't even want to find out how true that might be. I know I'm wrong, but that's just something I'm going to have to lay at the foot of the cross and let Jesus fix.

[ZChi4Life]

Hey Roz - Did you get my PM? If so, hit me back on PM.
Thanks!

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by ZChi4Life

Hey Roz - Did you get my PM? If so, hit me back on PM.
Thanks!

Yeppers. Check your PM box.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

We all have our spats from time to time but you have to know when to cut them off and let them go. We're one big family remember? Sistergreeks Unite!

.......

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Sorta like your tit for tat with DSTChaos?

Grow up please. Now you are tryin' to start isht for no reason.

DSTChaos is very capable of speaking for herself, as you are well aware. Any issue that I have with her I tell her and she does with me likewise.

Bitter does not become you. I don't know what has been going on with you lately but you seemed to have changed over the years that I have been on GC. When I first came on here I really looked up to you as a Sistergreek mentor-type: you've been in your org for a long time, you seemed confident and wise. I used to look forward to reading your posts. You always said really great things. Now, here lately you seemed to have changed. You are now on the attack, even when it is uncalled for (see quote above).

I will add you to my prayer list.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Grow up please. Now you are tryin' to start isht for no reason.

DSTChaos is very capable of speaking for herself, as you are well aware. Any issue that I have with her I tell her and she does with me likewise.

Bitter does not become you. I don't know what has been going on with you lately but you seemed to have changed over the years that I have been on GC. When I first came on here I really looked up to you as a Sistergreek mentor-type: you've been in your org for a long time, you seemed confident and wise. I used to look forward to reading your posts. You always said really great things. Now, here lately you seemed to have changed. You are now on the attack, even when it is uncalled for (see quote above).

I will add you to my prayer list.

Wow, you came on here chastising and attacking your sistergreeks and you expected folx not to say anything? It was a jokey/joke. Your soror realized that. But the bottom line is you made some strong statements that, imo, did not belong in THIS forum.

Oh and I am sorry if I have fallen beneath your expectations. I guess GC has just rubbed off on me. And whatever you do, please do not add me to your prayer list--it's not that serious (can't believe I just said that.)

[neosoul]

now I'm str8 LOL... ah well.... Roz stop posting.... sh*it