Really Need Help w/ Recs! I'm confused!

[OPhiAGinger]

Haven't recs really deviated a lot from their original purpose? Originally a rec was supposedly a way for an alumna who knows the PNM well to assure her GLO that the PNM would be an asset to the organization. There had to be a relationship between the alumna and the PNM, or it was meaningless.

Now recs seem to be given so casually, by friends of friends of your parents, or by an alum chapter member who meets the PNM for 15 minutes at Starbucks. How much meaning can those types of recs really provide in the membership selection process? Think of a job recommendation: would you ever provide a formal job recommendation for someone that you didn't know really well? I would not, and I think sorority recs should be treated the same way.

And to the alumnae who agree to provide recs to young women they don't know or don't know well: obviously you are doing the PNMs a big favor as they scramble to check off all the GLOs on their campus, but might you be doing your sorority a disservice?

[SWTXBelle]

I think most rec forms have a place where you indicate both how and how well you know the PNM. A rec from a friend of the family who has known the PNM for years is going to carry more weight than one from someone who is providing an "information only" rec.

[KSUViolet06]

We seem to be getting alot of posts from girls who are frustrated with getting recs.

Girls, understand that gstting recs is going to be difficult, especially if you don't live in an area with lots of greek women or you don't have many greeks in your family.

It just takes persistence. You have to exhaust all of your available resources & contacts. Think of EVERY place you go regularly where there are women who know you well. Any of them could be a sorority alumna.

Some of these places include:

*school (teachers, counselors, coaches)
*church or other place of worship ( sorority women might attend your church service or lead your bible study)
*camps you attend(ed)(your camp counselors might be sorority women)
*work(co-workers or their family members might be greek)
*your parents(their co-workers or friends)

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

Haven't recs really deviated a lot from their original purpose? Originally a rec was supposedly a way for an alumna who knows the PNM well to assure her GLO that the PNM would be an asset to the organization. There had to be a relationship between the alumna and the PNM, or it was meaningless.

Now recs seem to be given so casually, by friends of friends of your parents, or by an alum chapter member who meets the PNM for 15 minutes at Starbucks. How much meaning can those types of recs really provide in the membership selection process? Think of a job recommendation: would you ever provide a formal job recommendation for someone that you didn't know really well? I would not, and I think sorority recs should be treated the same way.

And to the alumnae who agree to provide recs to young women they don't know or don't know well: obviously you are doing the PNMs a big favor as they scramble to check off all the GLOs on their campus, but might you be doing your sorority a disservice?

I think that the main thing is that rec. writer indicates the level of knowledge of the young woman. You make clear if you know her personally, for how long, etc, or if it's really more of an informative rec. without personal knowledge. But in most cases even a friend of a friend who did a little research would know anything that would keep a women from being an asset to the organization. If you hometown reputation was terrible, a hometown rec. writer would probably know it. (For example a girl from my hometown who embezzled from her part time job probably would have a hard time getting a strong hometown rec.)

In a lot of cases, it's just a question of finding out the affiliations of the people that you do already know. Unless you're from an area without a lot of female college graduates, you probably know more people who are greek than you realize.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

Now recs seem to be given so casually, by friends of friends of your parents, or by an alum chapter member who meets the PNM for 15 minutes at Starbucks. How much meaning can those types of recs really provide in the membership selection process? Think of a job recommendation: would you ever provide a formal job recommendation for someone that you didn't know really well? I would not, and I think sorority recs should be treated the same way.

And to the alumnae who agree to provide recs to young women they don't know or don't know well: obviously you are doing the PNMs a big favor as they scramble to check off all the GLOs on their campus, but might you be doing your sorority a disservice?

I disagree. I can't speak for any other organization's rec form, but our rec form asks specifically how well you know the PNM. The chapter receiving the rec knows what level of knowledge the rec is based on and considers it accordingly. This is why PNMs on GreekChat are encouraged to exhaust all sources who know them well for recs before resorting to going through the local Alumnae Panhellenic or other contacts who wouldn't know them personally.

If a young woman in my community wanted to meet me for the purpose of obtaining a rec letter, I'd be happy to oblige. However, the rec letter would certainly not carry as much weight as one from someone who has known her/her family for years, and I'd make sure to let her know that. If she had no other options and felt that recs were a necessity at her school, I'd assist her. I don't feel that it would be doing a disservice to my organization, because they would be well aware of the level of my acquaintence with her.