Life's short, get a divorce

cheerfulgreek · #1 05-09-2007, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

I work in a law office. About 3/4 of our practice is in divorce/custody.

People take marriage very seriously.. and divorce even moreso. I don't see people traipsing in here on a whim.

Then why is the divorce rate so high?

Kevin · #2 05-09-2007, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Then why is the divorce rate so high?

I'm not sure anyone knows... but please, I invite you to stand in front of my office and ask our clients whether they feel they take marriage seriously. Go right ahead

cheerfulgreek · #3 05-09-2007, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

I'm not sure anyone knows... but please, I invite you to stand in front of my office and ask our clients whether they feel they take marriage seriously. Go right ahead

I believe you, it's just with the divorce rate being so high, it's just really hard to understand why.

Kevin · #4 05-09-2007, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I believe you, it's just with the divorce rate being so high, it's just really hard to understand why.

No one really knows -- but I'll bet we'll spend another few million dollars this year paying universities to do research on the subject!

PrettyBoy · #5 05-09-2007, 09:58 PM

I think it may be our careers. It seems like people are more into their careers and preparing for them than they are into getting married and staying married. Look at marriage back in the 50s and look at it now. There is something very wrong. I may be wrong, but it's just a wild guess.

cheerfulgreek · #6 05-09-2007, 10:36 PM

I was watching this documentary on the Discovery channel and it was talking about how the moon is moving away from the earth. The moon has an effect on the tides. It's been proven that the moon can control our actions. I wonder if this could have something to do with it.

PrettyBoy · #7 05-09-2007, 10:45 PM

I saw that on the history channel I think. I guess I'll have to give you the (blank stare) on that wild, wild guess.

LOL.

AKA_Monet · #8 05-10-2007, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

No one really knows -- but I'll bet we'll spend another few million dollars this year paying universities to do research on the subject!

Ironically, places like Smart Marriages, Marriage Partnership, Covenant Marriages, 5 Love Languages, and The Gottman Institute they probably will have a cottage industry generated by more religious groups than secular groups.

The question remains why are we still getting married given the difficulty?

GeekyPenguin · #9 05-09-2007, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Then why is the divorce rate so high?

1) Britney Spears
2) Fundamentalists who get married at 18 so they can engage in some God-sanctioned boning
3) People who get married more than once are much more likely to end up in divorce in subsequent marriages
4) Lack of adequate pre-marital counseling

cheerfulgreek · #10 05-09-2007, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

1) Britney Spears
2) Fundamentalists who get married at 18 so they can engage in some God-sanctioned boning
3) People who get married more than once are much more likely to end up in divorce in subsequent marriages
4) Lack of adequate pre-marital counseling

o.k. I understand that, but why now? It wasn't like this 50 years ago. Was the counseling better then? What does Britney Spears have to do with it? She's an idiot.

GeekyPenguin · #11 05-09-2007, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

o.k. I understand that, but why now? It wasn't like this 50 years ago. Was the counseling better then? What does Britney Spears have to do with it? She's an idiot.

Celebrities like her who get divorced a million times promote the idea that marriage is not a lifetime commitment. Counseling certainly used to be better. The Catholic church requires the most marriage counseling out of any religion - and incidentally is tied for the lowest divorce rates of faith communities.

cheerfulgreek · #12 05-09-2007, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

Celebrities like her who get divorced a million times promote the idea that marriage is not a lifetime commitment. Counseling certainly used to be better. The Catholic church requires the most marriage counseling out of any religion - and incidentally is tied for the lowest divorce rates of faith communities.

So it is the counseling. I see your point about the celebrities getting divorced a lot. I didn't look at it like that.

Sister Havana · #13 05-09-2007, 11:38 PM

Down comes the billboard.

EE-BO · #14 05-09-2007, 11:44 PM

My theory is that it is a matter of living in a society with more choices.

What choices did the average wife have 50 years ago with a high school education and a work force that was heavily dominated by men when it came to careers that paid enough to provide for a family? What of the social stigma of divorce? (which I think arose from a matter of the not entirely inaccurate perception that at the time a bad marriage was better than being divorced.)

I think divorce is more common now because both parties in a marriage are more likely to have the education and opportunities to find a better life if they are not getting what they want/need/deserve out of marriage.

Granted, with that comes an element who surely give up too soon because they can or don't take marriage seriously- but that is their loss in the long run.

I see this phenomenon as potentially positive. It is a reflection of the emerging reality in which both partners in a marriage have a more equal obligation to perform because there is not one partner who is completely dependent on the other for a real life.

cheerfulgreek · #15 05-09-2007, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EE-BO

My theory is that it is a matter of living in a society with more choices.

What choices did the average wife have 50 years ago with a high school education and a work force that was heavily dominated by men when it came to careers that paid enough to provide for a family? What of the social stigma of divorce? (which I think arose from a matter of the not entirely inaccurate perception that at the time a bad marriage was better than being divorced.)

I think divorce is more common now because both parties in a marriage are more likely to have the education and opportunities to find a better life if they are not getting what they want/need/deserve out of marriage.

Granted, with that comes an element who surely give up too soon because they can or don't take marriage seriously- but that is their loss in the long run.

I see this phenomenon as potentially positive. It is a reflection of the emerging reality in which both partners in a marriage have a more equal obligation to perform because there is not one partner who is completely dependent on the other for a real life.

I think this is true to an extent, but why do people think the grass is greener on the other side? I can see getting a divorce if cheating, mental or physical abuse is involved, but why get a divorce for anything else. Work it out. Why even marry again, because now you have to get used to a whole new set of issues the new spouse may have. I would rather stay with the original spouse since I would be used to his issues.